Dear Jacqueline 3, I feel your pain, lost my eldest son 12 weeks 2 days ago and all I see is his little sad face, knowing that he wasn’t going to make it. Its all I see. He was 36. The pain and emptiness is unbearable.
I speak to him all day, last thing in the night, I wake up so many times and have to give his photo a kiss.
Thinking of you.
Been lighting a candle from the moment I wake up until I go to sleep.
I have given him his own Christmas card, put his stocking up.
The only thing I haven’t done is give anyone cards or presents.
Don’t want to celebrate Christmas but I have 2 other and my eldest wanted the best Christmas so trying to make it festive with decorations, hopefully he will visit on the day.
Do I sound like I’ve lost it??? 
Thinking of everyone as the say gets closer. X
Dear Dally
I’m so sorry you’ve lost your son. Do whatever helps you…there’s no right or wrong here.
I lost my son in October 2019 so this will be my 3rd Christmas without him. I’ve put a card up from him that he made at Primary school. He died when he was 30.
Please give it time- you will find your own way of coping and we’re all here for you.
I’m sending love and peace for your heart.
Purple x
Dear Dally, You have done more than I… I told my family I could not do Thanksgiving or Christmas this year… I did get something for my Grandson who is 18 months… but I just cannot bear to celebrate. I have always loved this time of year but I cannot. You do not sound like you have lost it at all. I have done the same… I talk to Garrett all the time. Tell him how much I love and miss him and that Mum is clawing her way through the days without him. My Garrett loved to listen to the birds when he first woke up in the morning. there was one he called the stupid one and when that one would sing, he said the others ran covering their ears… but I have been so damned lost. We are in Pennsylvania and the massive amount of birds that have suddenly parked in the trees along our house is strange. I have wanted to believe that is my boy telling me he is close. Our neighbor started to shoot at them suddenly about a week ago and they left… I was so distaut and lost it outside where I am sure he heard me… The next day the birds were gone and i broke down on my knees outside and sobbed to Garrett telling him the birds made me feel he was close… and the birds were gone… a short time later while I was still sobbing on my knees, three beautiful birds landed on the branch in front of me and just sat… I have three children and I do everything in threes… I love the number… I cried until I could barely breathe and told him thank you and I loved him so damned much… the birds flew away… they have been back every day since… Maybe I am crazy but I think my boy is telling me he is close… I do not think you sound like you lost it… I believe our precious ones are close whether we can see and hear them or not… I hate that this is my life and I have to live it without one of my precious babies. I am holding your hand Dally and my heart goes out to you and your family and your beloved son. It is a horrible thing we must now navigate… I just want my Garrett back…
Earlier, it felt a little comforting for the first time since this horrible, unthinkable nightmare began to talk about the birds, yet tonight the small measure of comfort is once again gone and the pain seems like a tsunami that is tearing at my soul. The house just screams Garrett’s absence and my tears will not subside. Tonight I am having trouble even contemplating the next minute let alone the next hour. Everyone here is sleeping and the weight of this tragedy is ripping me apart. Thinking of you all.
Hi Rach25 I know exactly how you feel I lost my 31 year old son 7/11/21 . I just an over silly things . But with the help of. Family and this site I have realised I am not alone in the grief . Be kind to yourself allow your self time and scream if you want to x we are all here for you
The world keeps turning without my boy… How do I live with that. I miss him, the pain is unbearable and life doesn’t give a fuck.
Hi. I’m so sorry for your loss. People don’t understand unless they go through the same pain… my son died aged 44 years…
I understand and feel for you.
Sorry to hear your pain I lost my 19 year old son after a 9 day fight In intensive care his two friend died instantly in the accident I’m lost
Dear Donna, I am so sorry for your loss. I am lost too. I lost my youngest child on my birthday in August… He was sick on and off for a week, just nuisance things, suddenly he couldn’t breath and could barely move, I rushed him to the ER, he passed six hours later. He was 22. I miss him so much, I do not know how to live with Garrett’s loss. I am struggling to accept this reality. I just want my boy back.