My daughter died suddenly on 3rd March this year age 24, after being admitted to hospital on the evening of the 2nd March with sepsis, infected sores and gastroenteritis. Last month I had to go through the ordeal of an Inquest, to which the coroner recorded a verdict of natural causes. I have struggled since she passed away, but this month is particularly difficult as it was her birthday on 15th and it’s my first Christmas since she passed. I just feel so lost now and I struggle most days, this site was recommended to me by a volunteer at the coroners court, to put me in touch with other people who have suffered a bereavement.
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You are in the right side like me lost my son on Feb 22.I have just been to his grave.What type of sepsis that doctors were not able to treat.My son died of cancer, this is not fair that they saved cancer patients in 70 and 80s but couldn’t save my son.I am like you struggling and particularly at this time of the year.We are so unfortunate.
My work and gym has been my life line
I am sending you love and strength.
Please reach out.xx
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The coroner didn’t specify what type of sepsis, he did say she was failed by the ambulance service as they took 3 n half hours to come. Also her care plan because she’d become bed bound after complications from breaking her foot in 2018, I just feel numb and lost without her. I keep thinking we’re going to hear her shout or call in the middle of the night, I’ve suffered nightmares and panic attacks from when myself and my eldest daughter said goodbye to her in the hospital. I can be doing some chores or watching Tv and I just breakdown in tears, I’ve never felt such pain and emptiness.
Sorry to hear about your son, my brother died from cancer. It’s so unfair that our young children die, they had their whole lives ahead of them.
Sending love and strength to you xx
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I held my son’s hand till his last breath and watching him dying but fortunately he was unconscious and did not know what was going on
Keep your brain busy, watch something and just keep on saying to yours that life is there but different and life has go on.I live in London and have no family.I used have nightmares, night sweat and used to take sleeping pill and antidepressants but then I realised, this will give any comfort to him as he is watching us.
His room is locked and I can’t even open.I put rain music on for sleeping and it does help.Please try and look after yourself.I completely understand what you are doing through.
Keep on messaging if it helps.
You are not alone xx
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I’ve been Keeping myself busy as much as possible, I find the nights are the worst. When we went in to see her she still had the intubation tube in, because they said they couldn’t get it out yet. She was so cold to touch, but she just looked like she was sleeping. I am learning to live my life around my grief like Cruse told me to, we released confetti cannons on her birthday last week. I only really have my other daughter and my partner for support at the moment, my close friend lost her husband in May to cancer. We support each other when we can, I was already on antidepressants and the Dr prescribed me some sleeping tablets. They don’t really help though, but I do have a white noise machine. I have to look after myself, as I have a few health problems myself. Thank you for listening xx
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No worries at all, we can support each other xxx
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Hello
I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter. It’s early days and so debilitating.
I lost my son three years ago and I’m finally coping well enough to talk about it without completely breaking down.
It’s a lifelong journey my friend. I meditate- that’s a brilliant tool to relax the mind. Recommended by my other son. I use the Headspace app.
Take each hour at a time…you feel like you’re drowning but you will come up for air. It’s just a slow painful process.
This time of year is painful for so many people 
I’m sorry you’re one of them.
Keep posting- the support here is amazing.
Big hugs
Purple
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Thank you for your message, because it’s the first Christmas without my youngest daughter it just feels like any other day. I haven’t really been able to get into the festive mood, I know she would want me to celebrate but it just doesn’t feel right. This month has been really difficult, my first birthday without her. Then her birthday was 10days ago and now Christmas Day, I can’t seem to go a day without breaking down. There’s a big piece of my heart missing, it’s leaves me feeling numb and lost. Big hugs
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I am exactly in the same situation and don’t even want people to say merry Christmas to me.I kept on thinking of him last and hardly managed to get some sleep.I feel like he would come to my room and say merry Christmas to me.He passed away on 11 Feb 22 and my birthday is on 6th Feb.Life goes on and we can’t get them back.I am not too bad if I am working but having holidays is a nightmare and extremely painful xxx
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I didn’t want people saying merry Christmas, it doesn’t feel right. I know life has to go on but it’s just so hard, I think the only reason I slept last night is because I didn’t sleep the night before at all. She’s constantly in my thoughts, even if I manage to distract myself.
Just when I think there’s no more tears, the floodgates open again. Something so simple as a Tv show we used to watch together, can be enough for me to breakdown. I’m really struggling to cope, my partner and other daughter tell me how strong I am, but I really don’t feel strong right now. Xxx
You are lucky to have supporting partner and daughter.His twin sister is going through so much and I don’t want to share my grief with her as my husband does not understand and my daughter needs a lot of support.She is very reserved and does not open up.My friend invited us for Christmas dinner, so we are all going there to get some distraction and traveling tomorrow to kill this painful time.pain never goes away but I am trying to distract it as this will not benefit to our loved one.
I am sending you my sincere love 
and just message me anytime.I am here xxx
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My partner doesn’t live with me at the moment, so he’s spending Christmas with family. My other daughter won’t talk to me, she bottles up her feelings. The rest of my family don’t talk to me, so it’s difficult to talk to people. I’m doing some diamond painting as a way of distraction, it really helps as I’m unable to work for health reasons. The pain never goes away but it helps to focus on something else xxx
Sending you love
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This is a brilliant plan to keep yourself busy.Make sure to show the painting to me when you finished.Going for a walk can be a good distraction.Remember your daughter is peace as and who knows having a brilliant time up there, we can only guess.Its a difficult day.
You are not alone in the house, your other daughter is with you.
Thinking of you and sending you hugs x
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I will definitely send you a picture when I’m done with my diamond painting, keep in touch. It’s great to know I’m not alone. Hugs my friend xx
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I did reply to your message, but it’s not showing up as a reply
I got your message love.Keep on going xx
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I’m just having some time with my eldest daughter, and my partner is on the phone. I just don’t know what to do, I want today over with to be honest. Even my other daughter didn’t want to celebrate today xx
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I’ve just downloaded the Headspace app you recommended I will see how it goes.
I listen to rain sound for sleeping on YouTube.It helps me go to sleep x
I have a white noise machine that plays rain, think I’ll try that x