Sheila, So true, doesn’t matter who you are when you lose that special someone, life is never the same again. I lost my husband 17 years ago and its like yesterday, so vivid. He was everything to me and my daughter was only 10 yrs old. I struggled with my mental health the second year of his death but having a child to focus on helped me. Then I lost my mum and and my wee sister who was my rock when my husband died. She stepped in to help us back then and now she is gone and my mum, so I hit an all time low the second year again. So now I am on medication to help me through this horrendous time when it all hit me. I have just lost my brother-in-law to prostate cancer. I have no words anymore. Cannot lose anyone else in the family. So I live from day to day and try to grab enjoyment when I can. I really think the world we live in is actually HELL and there has to be somewhere better than this to go to. 
Hi Tony
That has been the type of life I have lived for nearly a year now. I have tried to keep going but there is not the joy in life there was and it is very lonely. All we can do is keep going and hope that life changes for the better as some distance is put between our current lives and the fateful day it changed.
I wish you strength. You are not alone in what you are experiencing.
Rings so many bells with me Tony , respect to you,your going to work And keeping going, that’s all we can do,I haven’t got any advice except stay strong brother, I’m going through the same shit 
Hello Tony
What you have written has resonated so much with me, My husband died in April this year , I am retired so do not even have to get up for work. I spend so much time in bed, Like you I did not find counselling helpful, it made me feel worse. I am now mostly ok during the day as I have reconnected with old friends, but during the evening I drink much, much too much, and in the past summer in the garden as well, the sun is always an excuse for a Pimms! But I have never smoked a cigarette. I hope for you , everyone else and myself is that life will get better and that we can look forward to happiness
I struggle with day to day things at home, for example: I have no idea when the bins go out? Martin did all that. Since I lost Martin, all the electricity has been playing up! My kitchen lights stopped working, we have lots of fairly lights around our home, they are all set with remotes and they have also stopped working. Same with lights at the bottom of our kitchen cabinets? All not working….I cried as I don’t know how to fix…. Still waiting on the courage to call an electrician…. Sending love to you all x❤️
O h I feel for you , If you live in Redbridge the website will tell you about bin day, I now have to put the bins out and sometimes they are so heavy as we recycle so much. Have you tried trust a builder, I have them reliable for your electrics
I’m in Belfast. I’ll check the website regarding bin collection…. It’s just all so awful…, thank you for your reply and sending love xx❤️
Hello Tony, your life is very similar to mine, My Glenn died in March 23rd 2021. At 2.10 am I didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye.Ground hog day,
Is my way of explaining it,unlike you I don’t work I’m retired ,and I don’t sleep very well,every morning 3am I wake,and my mind starts thinking,I get up get a cup of tea and think some more before drifting off to sleep.waking again 7am.
Another empty lonely day awaits… I try and fill it with seeing a friend shopping, a bit of volunteer work, and I’m ok untill I close the door at night,the loneliness sets in.
I wouldn’t my life is crap, just different, something to get used to, 18 months have gone,I miss and love my Glenn,even more, but the broken hearted pain is easier, I have two sons who live a good distance away and 3 granddaughters I see them once a month, I understand they have their lives to lead too.
Tony!! grieving the person your soulmate,is so hard,and you think you will never be happy again, but I do have days of smiling ! enjoying life , then days of utter sadness, hopefully in time the good days will out number the bad ones , I will become me again with my husband locked away safely in my heart.
I hope you too start the healing process, and that you get your happy days.
Take each day as it comes,those of us who are grieving a loved can hand in heart say.
“We know how you feel.”
Take care.Tony.
this has been my life snce 27 /11/2017. it’s pointless going on. my presence benefits noone. If I had the courage, I wouldnt be here.
Hi , I know how you feel . I say I am no one . I have nothing . I have nothing to look forward too . I have no future . I don’t want a future without my husband . But all we can do is one day at a time . And one day we will be back with our partners . It’s not our call . We just have to wait . Xtake carex
Same here x❤️
HI Tony
I feel your pain I lost my husband Feb 15th 2022he had the astra zenica vaccine actually all 3 and it attacked his immune system and he died a terrible death he came out of hospital jan of this year and caught covid in hospital was back in hospital for 10 days and died from covid and sepsis you have described exactly how I am feeling right now regards Nikki
Gosh that seems a bit harsh of your family . I hope they will change in time . If you and this lady are building a relationship then that’s lovely for you both.
I lost my hubby three years ago now . Miss him every day and know I am not interested in a new relationship at all .
Everyone is different however and families should respect that .
Don’t lose touch with them as your wife and their mother would hate that . Keep the conversation going and see your grandchildren maybe alone until they are ready to meet this lady . After all if things don’t work out you will need them more than ever and family is all . I could not cope without my 4 children and 9 grandchildren as they are part of my husband and are still here and need me .
Wishing you all the very best on your journey 
Hi Susan71, thanks for your comment. I love my kids and grandkids but what do they want me to do sit at home every day on my own and never to go anywhere. I did not set out to meet anyone it simply happened, I was in my local club talking to one of her friends husband and our eyes meet and we started to dance and things started from there. My kids have said that they don’t want me to be with anyone because I am disrespecting there mother, and it’s nothing to do with my partner. I still hope that they will come round in time but it does hurt. All people on here will say that lonelyness is a horrible thing to happen to anyone and can keep you in that trance of not living but simply existing. My partner is similar to me in that she lost here partner over 2 years ago and was very lonely, we are making each other happy and we are starting to enjoy life again. I will never turn on my kids but will always be there for them. Bob
Bobby you don’t need to explain anything mate .
I will never forget my wife’s words in her letter to me ,” find someone who will love you like I did , you won’t be disrespecting me you will be honouring me “
She was an amazing wife , your kids will come round in time .
Still live your life mate
Iv only just read this Glen, what a lonely selfless thing for your wife to send you, it’s amazing that she thought this way and has regards to Bobby, Fate man could happen to any one of us matey, I understand your kids “fully” but things like this happen so run with it buddy 
Should read lovely thing to do Glen
Hi I lost my husband on 3rd feb 2021 so I know how you are feeling everyday is a struggle to get out of bed to start another day and a very lonely night life is a struggle
Everything you say resonates with me.
It’s three years since my husband died of cancer.It was very traumatic for us both.
From diagnosis to passing four months. He was only 64 years and had recently retired.
We were married for eleven years and were looking forward to travelling, seeing all the
places we wanted to see now that he had the time. I put on a face when l am with others and it looks like l am okay but the reality is different. I’m not living just existing and like you when l am at home alone living in the shadows.
I feel for you but please know you are not alone.
My very best wishes.
Hi Tony.
I lost my husband back in March this year. I feel the same. I dread everyday. Next week we would of been together 25 years.