I’ve lost but not lost my wife. I don’t know which is worse. She’s in a care home and doesn’t know me anymore as her husband and cannot care or love me. I’m in limbo land where I want her alive but want it to stop.
I sit in silence and go over all our memories which are only for me now. I long for her as she was before dementia. I want her back here to be my companion again but it’s all cloud cookoo land and that’s what upsets me that I can never regain what’s lost.
So sad that there are so many of us grieving in loneliness
Can totally relate to what you have said. I lost my wonderful husband January 2022 and life just isn’t the same. I go through the motions of everyday life, but there is a huge sense of loss all the time. The loneliness is difficult and days are tough. I think I’m still in the stage of disbelief, has this really happened? A no man’s land. Now I question what is my purpose and who am I.
The days blend into weeks and life right now is hard.
Sending love to everyone of us who is finding this road of grief very difficult x
Hi Tony you have described exactly how I am. I lost my wife 1 year 7days.
I’m retired so no work to take my mind off things. When I close the front door that’s it then start the drinking then oblivion and bed
Yes I live each day as it comes and I’m so sorry for your loss I wish that we hadn’t drifted apart but we had our own lives to lead when we was younger we would sit in bedroom listen to boyzone and play video games I loved it at my cousin every weekend we would also go out to fair to town and go to shop I miss my cousin lots but wish I’d stayed in touch maybe things would of been different and she would still be alive
Hi Tony
I know the feelings your going through so well my husband died suddenly and my life was over.
I couldn’t except he would never walk through the door again… The house was so empty… The kids helped me out staying over here but just wasn’t the same
Billy died 3 years ago this October 22nd… It does gradually get a bit better but it never goes away… And never will…
You are going to work which is something to keep your mind active… But I know what ur saying when u get back to the house and its this empty feeling once u open the door and its just you again…
I’m here if you ever want to chat I don’t sleep a lot so normally always about… Stay positive Tony xx
Tony. It’s so hard I’m the same and I think your like me. Some of the stuff folks say in reply just don’t cut it. My very best advise is keep going take every day step by step don’t expect nothing and u won’t be disappointed. My beloved husband who passed said to me. Face the worst and the rest will be easy. Unfortunately for us there is no miracle cure. Nothing gets easier we just gotta get used to dealing with the everyday shit that’s in our heads. Best wishes to you mate. Steven
The pain and loneliness doesn’t go away but it does get easier in time… And remember Kathmaybe isn’t here but she is still around you all the time and you never forget… You have all ur memories and little stories… Also always talk about her it keeps her memory alive aswell… There isn’t a day goes past that I don’t talk about my husband xx
I too am in total shock and disbelief. How did this happen? I don’t understand. How does anyone cope? The dreadful pain and lonliness just goes on and on. I cry every morning, don’t sleep properly, feel.exhausted. How do we mentally adjust to the life that has been imposed on us?
Tony i feel the same only thank
god im now retired. Every day is groundhog day
i cope mostly in the day but the nights are horrid up and down light in then off
My husband died 8 weeks ago it
makes cry everytime i think about it. just chat on here it helos
Bless you. It is 8 weeks on Wednesday since my Dave died. It seems like a lifetime ago - day upon day of crying and disbelief. Morning and nights are the worst. When I wake in the early hours my mind goes round and round. Why? What if? Things said and left unsaid. I do hope you find the strength to exist daily. Perhaps if we manage to exist, it might just become easier to do so.
OMG I CRIED WHILE READING YOUR STORY . I TOO FEEL THE DESPERATE STRUGGLE EACH DAY …MY SON WAS 48 . LETS MAKE A PACT TO TRY EVEN 5 MINUTES A DAY TO REMEMBER LIFE GOES ON AND PLEASE GOD MUST GET BETTER
Hi Tony. Just seen your message. I have and I haven’t lost my wife as she’s in a home with dementia, doesn’t know me and our old life completely gone and buried. I too come home to an empty home and it’s been 3 years without her and I suffer with a loss of motivation, guilt that I feel this way when people say I ought to be doing something, and tend to sleep a lot just to get rid of time. God, what a waste!
I watch crap tv, walk outside on my own, buy stuff I don’t need for a pleasure hit and regret it later and probably are acting like loads of people who find themselves missing the one they love so much.
Hi Dutchman. You’ve just described my life. Anything to pass the time and get a change of scenery. It is a waste and I could possibily do something about it but I’m sorry most of the time I can’t be bothered.