Hello,Janey - so sorry you lost your wonderful husband too.
Thank you for your words of encouragement.
At the moment it is just so terrible and I wish I wasn’t living through it , but I know I have to plod on hour by hour.
It’s so lonely in the house without him - we were together most of,the time and would happily just “be” . I miss him so very very much.
How did you cope with the loneliness at home? I think if we had had children I would have had someone to actually,share the grief with and talk about him non stop,with - but it’s just me. I even feel,alone when I’m seeing friends as I can’t phone him or go,home to him.
But your words at least encourage me to keep on and hope for better days.
We had a dog so at least she is still with me although clearly missing him hugely
Thank you - it is hopeful to hear that people like you who are further along than me are surviving and I know he wouldn’t want me to be going through this hell, I certainly wouldnt have wanted it for him to be suffering as I am now. X
Thank you for replying to my post and I am sorry for,your loss of your husband too
I have a dog who we both loved dearly and no children either
I did think if we had had children it would have been someone else to,share the grief with and talk about him with , it so lonely just me.
How did you cope with the loneliness?
Hi Jessica thank you for replying - I am so sorry you lost your husband too
It hits me afresh many times a day that he is truly gone for ever in unbearable waves of grief.
Do you have any friends or family who can help with the practical things ?
We didn’t have children so I don’t have anyone who is feeling the same level of grief as me. I have good,friends but I still feel alone
Sandra7, when I read your post it could have been referring to me. I lost my husband 5 weeks ago. We had been married for 30 years and have no children. I struggle to get through each day. I too have friends who think they a supporting me. People said I would feel some relief after his funeral. They were wrong. It just reinforced that their acute pain was over, mine was just continuing and increasing.
@Sandra7
Thank you for your reply regarding help with practical help there is no one all the help we employed are gone as when my partner died that unfortunately went as I am not in the position to pay them. We live in a remote area no neighbours as such so I am just here with my dogs. I wish with all my heart we had children and it does seem now strange to me as we where together for 44 years but he did not want family. We had each other and that was enough for me. I sit here most of the day wishing I wasn’t here but then trudge on to the next day. I hope everyone on here gets through this misery I read some of the posts and some seem to be slightly getting better so perhaps there is hope
Jessica
Hi Sandra I’m so sorry for your loss I can’t say I know how you feel about loosing your partner because mine is still here. But I lost my youngest daughter to cancer in Jan this year she was 25 yrs old and I’m totally devastated so I’m grieving to but a little different but these people on here are so lovely and supportive they have helped me. To come on here and pour my heart out. Keep coming on here we will all try and help you. Shellyanne XX 
People who haven’t been through the loss of a dearly loved partner have not got a clue what we have to go through. They are better saying nothing than coming out with such insensitive remarks - it makes me angry.
Omg how awful I think I would have punched them how insensitive I’d have been mortified. Bless you xd
Sandra you are describing exactly how I feel. I lost my beloved husband 8 weeks ago, the sadness is unbearable, the reality that I will never see him again is agonising. I am trying to make sure I have something planned to do every day. Friends who have been through the same say the grief gets less raw, I have to believe that because could not bear for this to be my life. I talk to him and also send him texts, as we used to always send each other texts, and I am glad I have those texts to read, which I do frequently.
With very best wishes and love, Anne xx
Morning Annie I’m so sorry for your loss I can’t say I know how you feel about losing a husband but I’m grieving for my youngest daughter Leah she died this Jan to breast and liver cancer she was 25 yrs. Old I just hope you find the love and support on here with these lovely people. Take care. Shellyanne XX
Oh ‘misery ‘ thanks for replying so sorry you lost your husband and
I feel we are in a very similar place right now
It is unbearable isn’t it?
How on earth will we cope and get through it all?
So many times a day I cry and call out to him - where are you ? We were so close as just the two of us and I miss him every second
I don’t know what the answer is but let’s keep talking
Hi Jessica - yes I understand re the practical help - I am worse off financially now too - we didn’t really think about money before but now I do find I may need to make some cutbacks
It seems like a minor thing though compared to losing him and the hell of every new day without him
But the loneliness of not having close family to share the grief with is a big thing too - like you we were very close and didn’t need anyone else - we had friends - but we were a team - a twosome and the other half of each other. I have lost half of me as well as my love 
Yes I know exactly what you mean - I am grieving so badly and deeply for my husband who only died just less than a month ago - my brother came over yesterday to walk the dog with me and I was in tears and he said he really couldn’t understand why I was in such a state. Unbelievable. He knew how close we were and that had been for 30 years of marriage. I questioned him as to how he could not understand my despair - he said as he had t had a long term relationship since his divorce 20,years ago he just didn’t get it. Maybe we should feel sorry for,the people who can’t understand what we have lost? It’s hell is t it?
Hi - sorry you lost your husband too
I am in despair right now and it’s unbearable but I do want to believe there will eventually be a time when I could,give and receive love and companionship again
It would never be the same as with my beloved husband of 30:years and almost certainly a long way ahead but we have to believe I some sort of future?
Except it’s unbearable right now
Hello Anne - so sorry you have lost your husband too
Everything you say is exactly how I am feeling too
I am totally in despair right now
I am still visiting him every other day at the funeral parlour and crying there too. The funeral is t until mid august - almost 6 weeks after his death
That will be another loss when I can’t actually visit his physical self any more
I have bought an exercise book and I am writing in it to him and leaving it open on a shelf next to where he had some quirky ornaments and stuff he loved - I am trying anything and everything .
Oh I just don’t know how we will ever come through this so like you I am making sure I have at least one friend to see every day so I do t just sit at home all day crying
But at the end of the day we wake up without our other half every day and end the day without them
It’s not having people to,do,stuff with - it’s not having that one special other part of us to just be with
Love to you too - let’s keep talking
Sandra, like you I had many people say to me “ phone if you need anything” What I need is for them to phone me , not just text. However I am forcing myself to do as they suggest, and phoning them. I loved, and love, my husband so much, he was such an amazing man. I am sorry you have such a long wait for his funeral, David was buried 2 weeks after his death. Sometimes I think about all the people who have gone through this - and they have got through it, we will be the same. David and I married when I was 60, and he was 66. He had been widowed. He said at the time he thought he would never be happy again, he had a good 1st marriage. Then when we were married he frequently said he had never been happier. I always said he had been differently happy. It is very early days for us, especially as you are still waiting for his funeral. I want to think about David and smile, not cry. He made me smile and laugh every single day. 1 hour at a time, we will get through this.
Sending love an strength 
Hi all, I can relate to things you have all said, I think I’m a bit further down the road (9 months).
Pete and I were the same, he always said I was the missing piece of his jigsaw, we had plenty of friends but were happiest when it was just us, when Pete died very suddenly I just wanted to go with him and can’t believe I’ve survived this long without him.
But I am still here, living this nightmare although I can say it’s not gotten any easier but I think I’ve got stronger.
We were so happy to have found true love, and I’m so thankful I got to experience it but we only got 5 years together and had planned to get married.
I keep thinking about a couple of conversations we had about what we would do if anything happened to one of us and we both agreed that we would want whoever was left to try to find love again… never in my wildest dreams did I think I would ever lose him at 59.
It seems so strange now that we even had those conversations, I know I could never love anyone else, we were like 2 halves of the same person.
Anniemacuno, I would love to think I could be differently happy, I can’t imagine it right now but then I couldn’t imagine surviving losing the love of my life either!
Love and strength to all of you.
Muldool
Thank you for your reply Sandra7. I don’t know about you, but I find that half the time my brain isn’t processing information properly. We had actually been married for 40 years, not 30. I think when I saw your post and the similarities, my heart went out to you and I wanted to respond to you immediately. I hope you are finding a little solace in some things. I see you have a dog, as do I. I’m grateful for him, although he’s hurting too, but he needs me and I need to care for him. I do walk him, but tend to avoid the times when I will bump into other regular dog walkers. Take care and focus on the people who you feel help you, even though it’s only in minute ways at the moment x
Thanks Annie for your encouraging words
It is very early,days for us that’s true .
My husband made me laugh every day too - we were so in tune and he was everything to me - like you we had friends of course too but he was the special other half of me.
I like what you said about how your husband was able to find great happiness again with you and totally understand t was a different happiness, as you said.
I wonder if in the future we will,ever be able to do that? I am grieving so much but long term I don’t believe he would have wanted me to spend the next 30 years crying every day and being lonely, although right now I can’t see any future
But, as you say, so many people have gone through this and survived so we must try to have some hope x