My Son Daniel died in July 22, he felt unwell and went back to his flat for a nap…he never woke up.
I am overwhelmed with guilt that as his mum I didn’t know how ill he was.
We are still waiting for the coroners report to come back.
I can’t see how I can move forward when my son died because of me.
Absolutely heartbroken.
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Hello SusannahB - I feel so sad reading your post especially that you state that it really was your fault that your son died. This is such a burden for mothers who loose their adult children. There are hundreds of posts on here from parents who have during the couse of their greiving felt like this including me. How could you know , your son said he wanted a nap something we all say now and again, how could you know that he would die suddenly. It is not something that you could have prevented. I am so sorry for you loss of Daniel he was a very young ma n and you must all be devastated. Try and read similar posts and then some posts from parents who are further along this road who may be able to offer good support. It is still early days for you and you have to wait to find out what happened to Daniel so try not to be so down on yourself . I experienced similar with my son and i know how very complex and hard all these feelings can be. Sending you strength and peace.x
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Thank you Jenna for your kind words…I am also sorry for your loss.
As a mum you feel that you will be able to protect your child, no matter their age. With their death brings so many emotions…emotions only someone who has experienced the loss of a child can understand.
I really don’t know what to do at the moment, the pain can be unbearable as you will know yourself.
Thank you again for taking the time to read my message and contact me, I am truly grateful xx
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Hi @Suzannab
I am so sorry for the loss of your son, Daniel. As you say it’s a mothers instinct to protect her children, but please don’t blame yourself. It’s so hard to accept as we don’t expect to outlive our children and the pain it leaves us in is immeasurable. It seems impossible to carry on without our beloved children but somehow we do.
My son was 41 and severely disabled, he passed away unexpectedly in May. I just take one day at a time and coming on here, where I know people understand what I’m going through, really helps.
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I am so sorry for your loss, Daniel was 37yrs old, he had autism as well as mental health issues.
He was the kindest person you could ever meet, I miss him so much.
Like yourself I am trying to take one day at a time.
It is comforting to be able to come onto this platform knowing people really understand your pain.
Thank you so much for your message x
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So sorry to here the loss of your son It’s my sons 3 year anniversary today It devastates me … I think the feeling of guilt is a natural feeling because we all think “ what if “
I hope the coroners verdict will give you some peace of mind Xx
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I am another grieving mother whose beloved son died in April. It is 6 months now and I miss him dreadfully. He was the sunshine of my life. He was funny, clever, kind and brave.
We do not expect to outlive our children, it’s the wrong way round.
Suzanna, it must have been a terrible shock for you when Daniel died, and you didn’t get chance to say goodbye. I do feel for you. I hope you were able to have a service for him that brought you some comfort and allowed you to say goodbye.
I hope that making contact with people on this site is helpful. Grief can be very isolating. We have to carry on and find a way of living with grief and loss.
We carry our children in our hearts. 
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Thank you so much for your message it means a lot to know people are there for you.
I am also very sorry for your loss, together I hope we can find a way to move forward.
Thank you 
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Thank you for your kind words, I really do appreciate them.
I am very sorry for your loss.
I feel lost and empty, I still can’t believe Daniel has gone
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I’m so sorry for your loss, I lost my youngest daughter on the 17th August suddenly, aged 43…such a shock struggling so much with guilty of not being with her at the time, still waiting inquest report same as you…so so hard…
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I’m waiting for the inquest on my daughter, she was 39 and I thought she was sleeping, but she was dying. I feel guilty that I didn’t somehow stop her dying. I think all loving mums and dads feel guilty and overwhelmed with shock. It seems to be like a default setting. My girl died in January. So it’s still quite early days for me but the initial totally heart wrenching pain is abating and sometimes I can notice the sunshine and even laugh. There’s always the gnawing pain though. I’ve learnt a lot from all the lovely people on here and it seems somehow, over time, and taking baby steps, we can learn to live with it. There is good kind and gentle support in here. It’s helped me and I hope it helps you. Sending all loving wishes xxxx
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Hi, I lost my son Scott aged 29 in May, I miss him so much, I also feel empty and lost, life has no purpose anymore, the only reason I’m still here is because I can’t put my other two sons and husband through any more pain, but I wish it had been me, he had so much more to live for, it is so unfair that we have lost our children xxx
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So much loss, so much shock and sadness.
Thank you all for sharing, and thank you for listening.
I wish you all a peaceful night. xx
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I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter, I will keep you in my prayers.
There just aren’t any words to heal the pain, I like you feel overwhelmed with grief and what ifs .
Try to take one step at a time, with no expectations
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Hi Dee.
I am so sorry for your loss, the pain off loosing a child is like no other.
Like you I feel life has no purpose, nothing matters anymore.
All the heat broken parents on this platform will hopefully give us the strength to keep going
Take one day at a time x
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Thank you for your kind words and support, it is so wrong that there are so many of us in this pain, I hate waking up in the morning because I know I have to face another day without Scott and that thought Is unbearable, I want him back so much and still can’t believe what has happened is real,
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Hi
Sorry for the loss of your son, there really is no loss quite like it. You are in my thoughts.
My son died very suddenly in may 2021 when we were having breakfast together, he was 20 years old. I tried to do CPR and bring him back but I knew he was gone…
I think we maybe all feel that we’ve somehow failed our baby, yet we havent because it was out of our control. If we could have saved our children, we would all have done it in a heartbeat.
Much love is sent your way
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Dear kjat - i am so so sorry about the losa of your son and the manner in which he died . You must still be in trauma and shock . I cannot think of anything to say that is remotely adequate . There are lovely peoplw on here who can probably find the words and many others who will be here for you when you
post . Sending you all my respect and good wishes. Xx
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Kjat…Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so sorry for the loss of your son, for it to happen in front of you is beyond words.
It is heartbreaking that we have all lost our babies, because that is what they are still to use, despite their age.
Hugs and thoughts for you
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So much love in all the messages who have lost their most precious child that we brought into the world with so much love and hope.
Hope that they would live a happy productive long life contributing good things to the human race.
Even though my daughter’s life was short l recognise that she brought many happy memories to many people and lived her life to the full.
I am finding thinking like this gives a reason and comfort in my suffering.
I try not to focus on the last moments but instead on all the very human moments with our children we all experience. This gives me hope for the future.
So many people some complete strangers have been so kind and compassionate in understanding my loss. I have been blessed.
I try to focus on others that need me and try to be kind and gentle with others. I am drawn to others who are suffering and a kind word can make anyone’s day.
I send my love to all have lost their child as they struggle to make meaning of this new life. Feel it with love and be kind to yourself. Jackie.x
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