I saw my husband’s last breath too. I don’t want that image constantly in my head but it won’t go away. I’ve been to see him since and it didn’t help. He just looked asleep do I found myself shouting for him to wake up. I couldn’t say goodbye. I have to go back tomorrow to say goodbye. His funeral is on Wednesday.
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Louise. As I have already mentioned, I was with my husband when he passed away, but I never said goodbye. Love is eternal, I feel him around me.
Sending hugs xx
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Dear @LizFar . Oh my love I was in your position in may . I was horrified that I had lost my strong loving man . I wanted to die as well . So did my son . I told him we had to go on for my Andrew . I can’t tell you that the pain will get easier . Every one’s experience in grief is different . I asked for help from my dr for us both . I hope you both get help from someone
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I know its the worst isnt it ? U just want to go be with them … but if you say that everybody seems to freak out and think omg they’re suicidal … but its not like that you just want to go be where they are !!! 
and protect them and hold them like you always have ! Its the pain of being apart and in a way that youre left behind ! Its almost as if they have walked out and left u i think … they have in a way ? ! But you know what we have to think how lucky they were that we were there and loved them through it !! We dont know , if , when our time comes, whether we will have so much love around us do we ? X
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I didn’t say goodbye either it didn’t seem the the right words to say. Just that you love him with all your heart .it’s what you feel when you see him again that you will know what to say to him. Sending hugs and will be thinking of you tomorrow xxx
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Hi Liz please let your emotions out don’t hide them away I did that when my husband passed away . Losing your loved one is unbearable and you think you can’t go on but you have too. Getting through each day is so hard and coping with not having your loved one there doing things together is the worst . I talk to my husband lots you may think I’m silly but it does help me. Don’t rush yourself and don’t worry if you cry it comes from nowhere always let it out. Your husband is always with you now and forever. Sendings hugs xxxx
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I can relate to your heartache. Tomorrow will be a day like no other, but some people around you will do their best to show you support. People helped me with practical things, because I didn’t know what to do and I am grateful for that support. I had a lovely photo of my husband during the service and I found this very comforting. Thinking of you for tomorrow, take care.
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Of course you feel lost - because you are at the moment and can see nothing ahead… it’s the saddest feeling and we just have to get through each day and night. I talk to my husband and tell him about my days and how much I miss him.
My only consolation is that he’s not in any pain .
People have no idea what it’s like to loose a partner and therefore have no idea what to say or do. We know how you feel- you can let us support you through this hell. Xx
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Deb5 you’re so right in all you said.
I’m not suicidal but just don’t want this .
I’m so glad I could be with my husband right to his last breath. I nursed him at home for a long 18 months …I don’t have anyone to do that for me .
Even my best friend had gone- her partner said something very inappropriate and insulting on the day John had died so I decided to end the friendship.
I do take comfort in knowing I couldn’t have done more for my husband and hopefully he’s in a better place. Xx
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Yeh i did same, nursed my husband right until the end. And he passed at home. I dont think it properly hit me until after the funeral how very alone i was y family have been crap really at emotionally supporting me xx
Yep, I’m not close to my daughter and family and they haven’t been any support.
I’m so glad we were there to look after them but makes the loss even worse because we now have a huge void where we used to have so much to do.
Wish I had some wise words but all I can say is even though everyone’s pain is different- I do understand.
Xxx
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Thsnks @Flossy22 im glad you understand and it does leave a big void after i was intensely looking after my beautiful husband. I loved him so much and thought my love would keep him alive. Sadly i lost that battle ! I tried everything i could for him and yeh its awful how your kids dont help ! They are horrible i think 
i might move a long way away to get away from them all ? X
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The hardest thing for me was knowing it couldn’t last for ever but then being so shocked when he died!
What did I expect? That he would go on for ever even though I knew he couldn’t ?
I’m estranged from my family and careful who I befriend so time on my own is ok by me now.
I just can’t see an end to all this… xx
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Yeh well im not estranged from my family … or at least i wasnt before my husband passed away ! But i might as well be now ! They just dont want to make an effort and im fed up of it all ! So like you i am by myself ( not much choice!) because they have nothing to offer me ! Xx
And yeh i agree you know the inevitable is gonna come but you just dont want it to and so i think you sort of kid yourself ! Denial i suppose my husband went quicker than he was meant to though bless his heart 
xx
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So busy with everything and yes denial!
Got into a routine and just got used to it.
They would never have put us through this but I’m glad he went first.- just wish the pain would ease off.
I’m incredibly lazy too- just can’t be bothered! What for?
My love goes to you and I know you understand xx
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People show their true light and that’s unforgivable. We’re better off without them than letting them add to our pain.
Xx
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I feel the same
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He is gone. We had the service this morning in the lodge in the woods. They took him away after an hour. The wake started there and then moved to my home. I am now mentally physically and emotionally drained. What now??
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Try and rest and just take it an hour at a time . Poor you . Keep talking on here. We all understand xxx