I feel for you Louise the funeral does drain you.Have a relaxing day and have time to take it all in.Talk to us as we know what you are going through at this time xxxx
1 Like
The funeral is exhausting. I found the day after hell particularly as I nearly lost a freezer full of food. I spent most of the day howling like an animal but I think the emotional release helped. Rest and just go with the flow. Love. Sandra
heās still with you as my husband is with me. Yes life will never be the same and every day is a struggle.
I didnāt even get out of bed yesterday- whatās the point? I donāt want to be here anymore and everything is a struggle.
We just have to carry on with our partners in our heartsā¦.all seems pointless but it seems thatās all there is for us now. The emptiness just drags on hour by hour. They are in a better place but this is hell xx
2 Likes
Oh dear Flossy you are in a bad place at the moment keep talking to us and hopefully you will feel a bit better. Donāt get into staying in bed it wonāt help you at all go out in the garden or shopping or just a walk. Think of your darling husband and of all the wonderful things you did together he wouldnāt want you being like this. Lifeās not fair I know that since I lost my husband but you have to carry on. Love Margaret xxxxxx
2 Likes
Thank you for your kind words- they help a lot because I know I need to ādoā things and that this isnāt helping. I was doing well until this week and now Iām constantly in tears .
I do find comfort in knowing I can talk to you all and that you understand.
Feeling totally lost at the moment xx
2 Likes
Hi Flossy as Margaret23 says thereās benefits to getting up and about. When I first lost my wife, after the funeral I just disappeared into my house for weeks. Literally shut the door and didnāt step over the threshold. Ordered everything on line and from local takeaways. It took me a time to realise that it wasnāt really doing me any good. I started to go out for half an hour, sometimes I had to force myself. Just being outdoors helped improve my mood, birds in the trees, clouds in the sky, sun on your face, it helped. The benefit I found the most unexpected was that it helped me to regain my confidence, albeit very slowly, I had done something that day. It also gave me a space away from our home where I could think about my wife and begin to process things, it seemed to be a much gentler place than I had expected. If I felt bad I just came home, I had tried and that for me was the important thing
5 Likes
My husband passed away nearly 8 months ago but I still cry everyday it doesnāt go away anything starts me off so donāt think you are on your own because youāre not. I really feel for you and hope I can help you in anyway by talking to you I will. Grief is a terrible thing to go through as you know days are different some better than others but still you feel as someone has ripped your heart out. Helping each other will I hope will get us through these difficult days to come. Love Margaret xxxxx
3 Likes
My thoughts too. We have to for our own sake.Getting out if for a short time is a step in the right direction. Xxxx
3 Likes
Thank you. Iāve got up today and will go into the garden for a little while. Everything is overwhelming- gardening, housework etc. so Iāll do one small thing every day . This is the most miserable time of my life and i know we all feel the pain of our loss. I think the hardest thing is realising Iāll never see and hear him again.
What a dreadful journey weāre on .
Just saying how I feel does help xx
5 Likes
We are in the same place Flossy and we too feel the pain everyday. Try to do something today if just for a short time especially in the sunshine. Your husband will be with you every step of the way love xxxxxx
2 Likes
Thank you Margaret- Iām going to go outside for a while and Iāll talk to John while Iām out there.
Itās been worse the last few days.
Your support helps me so much- so glad and sad I found you all xx
5 Likes
Thatās good news Flossy I am going into the garden now too so if I donāt respond donāt think Iām being rude. Xxxxxx
1 Like
Thanks so much for your support xx
1 Like
You are very welcome Flossy. Xxxx
1 Like
Am just existing trying so hard exhausted as I try to sort so much out.
2 Likes
I feel the same but am still here.Obviously not got the bottle to end it
Donāt try to do too much sorting out just do one at a time. Itās too much for you after the funeral xxxx
1 Like
I can relate to everything people have said. I dreaded going to bed because I knew Iād have to get up in the morning. A woman I know lost her child and she said she cut cut herself off and hardly left the house for four years, ā¦and now she runs a bereavement group. I wake up everyday wondering what way Iāll feel today. And yes you are right whatās the point, thatās the struggle we have within ourselves trying to find a new point to our lives. I donāt want to run a bereavement group but Iām sure Iāll find a new purpose eventually but I can only say that now after 1 year in. I wish you strength for each day.
2 Likes
Such a comfort- thank you xx
Itās quite amazing that we are all different yet going through the same trauma of losing the person that we love.
There are days,even hours when I feel exactly as you do regarding āwhy bother,ā but I have no answer to that question,and then next hour or day I manage to do something positive.
Today I woke up feeling pleased that for the last two days I hadnāt cried but on the way back from a dental appointment decided to do some food shopping,I walked through our front door and it hit me like a sledge hammer ā¦ my wife isnāt here calling to me asking how I got on at the dentist,the tears came so thick and fast I actually thought I was having some kind of breakdown.
It isnāt easy for any of us and I know there isnāt a quick fix so what do we do ? We carry on each hour of each painful day believing that at some point it will become less; less lonely,less painful,less empty but hopefully more worth living.
Take care and know that we all understand and hope that by posting on here you will help us help you.
3 Likes