It’s been 7 weeks today that I lost my husband of 23 years, although I have 2 daughters, 2 grandsons, mum, dad and a brother all supporting me, I just feel so lost without my husband, my life revolved around him, we did everything together he was my best friend, I don’t have any other friends we had each other and our family and that was all we ever needed. The problem is, that now compounds my grief because I also feel so isolated. Is anyone else feeling this?
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Yes my husband was my soulmate and best friend and life without him is unbearable. My husbands death has also brought out the worst in my children with the exception of one of them. I have learnt so much about human nature though. I miss my husband so much sm isolated and lonely and I don’t think I shall ever get over it. Still if I knew what I know now I would do it all again for the wonderful 38 years I had with him.
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I understand completely what you’re saying about human nature, I’ve had a terrible time with my husband’s family since he died, well always if I’m honest, but they behaved shockingly at the hospital the day he died and wouldn’t respect his wishes of it just being me and him in the room for the end. After he had gone his mother and sister started an argument with my oldest daughter, which resulted in them not speaking to us since. They weren’t involved in the funeral but turned up expecting to be respected as his family, then they arranged an alternative wake and invited all his family and friends. People definitely show who they are when something like this happens and unfortunately sometimes it isn’t a good thing, but I will say that so many people have shocked me in a good way by being amazing.
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I understand how you feel, it is two months since my husband passed away. We had been married 52 years and we only needed each other, he retired 15years ago and since then we were together 21/7. I have a very supportive daughter and grandchildren but our son doesn’t want to know, not once has he asked if I am ok and he never asked how his dad was. Someone asked if I had made any plans for the future the thought of that is unbearable.
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I completely relate to this. My husband of 45 years was my best friend too. People would tell us we had a a good marriage and were a good team. We were part of each other. I never expected to be torn apart so suddenly with no warning at all, in minutes. I think I am still in shock after 17 weeks.
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Totally understand.
Describes what was, for us and what is, for me
Sending a big hug.
Rose xx
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So similar, retired, together.
We were together nearly 50 years.
I live from day to day.
Sending you a big hug.
Rose xx
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Children can be mean I have 3 grown up daughters and 10 grandchildren a various ages none of them ever asked me how I am
It’s very hard being without the person you were with for many years it’s been 11 months for me now and I don’t think I will ever be in a good place again
Sending a hug
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Hi, I lost my husband 6 weeks ago on Wednesday. I’m lost, we didn’t go out much for socialising etc. I have a loving family and a selection of really good friends who have all offered any help I need. He drifted off peacefully in his sleep, but I woke up at 2am to his cold arm across me. It was a blessing that he didn’t suffer, but not very nice for me, and I keep thinking he wasn’t really ill, he hadn’t said he felt poorly, and worst of all I couldn’t say goodbye. I’m trying to keep myself busy but just feel empty and lost most of the time. I start something and then get side tracked. I have our little dog to look after so I’m trying to get into a routine with her, but it’s on our quiet walks that I overthink and the floods of tears start. I really feel for anyone who is in the same situation and happy to hear from any of you, and I’m here for a chat if you need one, thank you
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I am sorry you find yourself here where no one wants to be… my husband passed away peacefully in his sleep in bed beside me but it was expected, he had been diagnosed with cancer 7 weeks earlier but it doesn’t lessen the pain. We were lucky to have 52 years together. You will find a lot of support here, I am two months into this awful journey and to be honest it isn’t getting easier.
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Hi, thank you for taking the time to respond. Yes it was a blessing that it was sudden and for him to drift off, but such a shock and so sudden for me as he hadn’t been poorly recently. Ah wow that’s a long time. I had known my husband for 40 years, we had been together since 2009 and married since 2014. I just keep thinking that I have all the lovely memories of holidays, camping trips etc to hold on to, but it is very difficult even with lots of support. I just can’t get my head round it, that I won’t have him to talk to again, or to go in our camper van again as I don’t drive, we went everywhere in it.
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I feel your pain, I never thought I’d be on my own at 48, I feel lost too. I’d love to talk to anyone that wants to, it’s giving me some comfort knowing I’m not alone in this x
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You are not alone @Gtracer - it truly is so hard to be in this awful place. I’m just a few years older than you at 52 , my husband died in march aged 56, and I never thought I’d be widowed at this age. It’s like a triple whammy with grief, kids leaving home, and perimenopause !
Trying hard to find the good things in life but it’s just crap really.
Sending some love and strength to you xx
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Gtracer i understand how you are feeling my daughters and son in law are amazing and i live with my son but he is autistic and my husband was my carer because of my disability and he was my world. We did everything together the last 3 years since he retired and the night time is the hardest part for me. Thinking about you and sending hugs 
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Hi, sorry for your loss. It is the talking bit I’m missing, someone to tell things, speak to about our day etc, there is only so much you can tell to friends and family, some things were just between the two of us. Yes it is a comfort knowing that others can understand what we’re going through, here anytime for a chat
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Hi, thank you for responding, it is very difficult. My husband was 63, I am 60. Same here, I can’t think of myself as a widow, I saw something online “I am now a widow I am a wife to a husband with wings”, so I hold onto that. I have a 32 year old son living here at the moment but he’s at work and out a bit so everywhere just feels so empty. I do try and be positive but it is hard, always here for a chat
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Hi, like yourself I have good family and friends around me which is a blessing at times like this, but they also have their own lives, children to look after, jobs to do etc. My husband died nearly 6 weeks ago, on one hand it feels like forever and on the other seems like yesterday. I find it hard to concentrate, easily get distracted, I’m just trying to keep myself busy really. I can sort of get through the day, tears fall when not expecting them, but sitting at night time watching tv is so lonely, when I often nod off watching the tv I wake up thinking he is still there. Always here for a chat, thank you
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I find one of the worst things for me is falling asleep and waking up and for a split second I’ve forgotten he’s not here anymore, then comes that awful feeling that overwhelms me that he’s gone, it’s devastating, some days I just feel completely broken by the grief.
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My husband passed away in April, he has been diagnosed with lung cancer mid February. I cared for him at home and he died as we held each other in bed. He was everything to me and, like so many of you, we did everything together. I am 59 and have now left my job too as I need to look after my daughter because Derek was her carer. I never imagined I would have such a life changing year. I am lost, lonely and so tired because I cannot sleep. I can’t concentrate on anything and my memory is shocking. I want my life back. Everything has stopped for me and it’s hard to listen to friends and family talking about holidays or plans for Christmas or just what they are doing at the weekend. My bedroom is both my sanctuary and my lonely cell. It is a comfort to know that people here truly understand the awful journey we are on but I have learnt that I may feel like this for a long time to come and I struggle with that and the feeling that I could never be happy again…
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My husband had a cardiac arrest in bed, next to me. We had been away for a few days, he was fit and healthy, not overweight, never smoked, didn’t drink apart from the odd pint a few times a year. No history of heart problems.
The shock is awesome.
Xx
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