My daughter lost her battle to cancer in November and we held her funeral last Friday. She was only 28 and quite simply I am really struggling to cope. She was a wonderful person, a secondary school teacher and had everything to live for.
Can anyone help me understand / give me tips on how to move forward. Its just the most awful situation.
Thank you
Marie
Hi Marie, I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I can’t begin to imagine how you must be feeling but just wanted you to know I read your post and wish I could say something to help you through your grief.
I lost my husband to cancer 6 months ago and I don’t know how I’ve got through but somehow I have so I would just say take each day as it comes and allowed yourself to feel all of the emotions that come by as they are all part of this awful grief journey
Jen
Thank you for reaching out, I think I just need someone to tell me I am not going mad so I really appreciate you replying.
The emotions are so overwhelming at times. She went in for immunotherapy which sadly went wrong. 4 weeks after starting the treatment that was going to put her into remission she was told, whilst alone, that she had 1 week to live! She then told me how scared she was, was it going to hurt at the end etc and I can’t shake that off, that she was scared and me, her mum couldn’t do anything to take that fear away.
Thank you so much though, to know that one day at a time is not a bad way to move forward is reassuring. I think I know that anyway but at present, I just can’t make sense of anything.
I wish you well and continued strength.
Marie
I’m so very sorry for the loss of your precious daughter. I lost my precious 22yr old son suddenly in June 2020, sudden cardiac arrest with absolutely no reason, nothing wrong. Cause confirmed as SADS, so we’re left with no reason, finding him was the worst moment of my life & so traumatic. I actually don’t know how I have survived as i miss him with every breath & want to be with him. Somehow we survive, we carry on battling every day. Some days are too much to bear, staying in & resting is all we can manage. The emotions are like a rollercoaster, you will be in such shock, disbelief & visceral pain. The feeling of not being able to protect your beautiful daughter will be so raw. Try to accept all support & try not to let anyone rush you. Baby steps & it literally is, one minute at a time. There are many supportive threads on this site relating sadly to losing a child. I hope you find comfort & strength here. Sending you my heartfelt condolences & strength x
Thank you so much for your kind words. I will keep going slowly and I allow myself time. We were so close and spoke every day, it’s the little things I miss dreadfully.
I realise it’s early days and now I have found this forum, I hope I can make contact when I’m having a wobble to just talk through how I’m feeling. Thank you & love to everyone who understands xx
Absolutely a safe space here to share how you’re feeling to others who understand. Sending you warm healing hugs xx
Thank you xx
Hello Marie,
I have a same story like your daughter. I lost my 24 years February 21. He was a fit healthy boy with no sign at all. but during Covid pandemic he was very unwell and we took him to the hospital, where we were told he was had stage 4 non Hodgkin lymphoma. I am still unable to explained what happened, not ready yet. He was in remission and had stem cells transplant and even his last day in the hospital he attended his online university lesson. He was super clever. I have locked his room sine he passed. It is so unfortunate that we have to go through this but life is different from us . I keep myself very busy as i am science teacher in a secondary school. I am here for you XXX
Thank you for reaching out, I am so sorry to hear about your son and know exactly what emotions you are feeling. It’s simply awful isn’t it.
I’m not in a great place emotionally myself but if I can help in any way, please reach out.
Life will never be the same and I don’t know how to move on yet but hopefully over time, I will find some sort of new norm, just not the one I want xx
Sorry my son actually passed away on Feb 22 and its so fresh for me but its too early for you.I took 6 months off from my work and wasn’t able to sleep in first two months and I found everything so weird without him as we were very close and he never moved out of the house.
Its so fresh for you and will take time.
My advise to keep yourself busy in anything, watch tv shows, movies, house work, go for a walk, if you are working, go back to work, its a good distraction.
I took some counselling sessions but they did not help me at all.Infact, I cut off from all the people who were just there for the sake of formality but at the same time I have had good support from daughter , work colleagues and friends.
I completely understood what you are going through.This is something that we can’t reversed but I am sure your daughter is in peace and not suffering anymore.
Sending you my love and strength to another mother.
Xxx
Thank you so much. I’ll take heed of your comments and am trying to keep busy the best I can.
Take care and thank you again xx
Hello,
I am sorry for your loss. It’s a strange path to have to walk along as we try to cope with grief. In those first few weeks and months looking back I don’t know how I did cope. It’s lonely, it hurts and you feel like you can’t breathe. I think you try to fight grief, but actually let it in and let it do it’s thing. I’m 16 months on this journey. I miss my daughter so much.
It’s like carrying a heavy ruck sack at first the weight hurts but you learn to adjust and deal with the pain even though you will always carry it with you.
Thoughts and prayers with you🦋
Thank you so much, life is just so unfair. Ian taking one day at a time but your kind words I so appreciated. I miss my daughter so very much and know that will always be xx
Hi Marie I am so so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I really feel your pain because I just lost my Daughter on Saturday and feel like my world has collapsed. The only thing we can do is take it day by day I guess and try and find reasons to carry on. I have three grand children who need me now more than ever so I guess that’s three reasons to carry on.
I’m sure there are many people who need you and love you so you be there for them.
Michael
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It’s still very raw here but we’re going 1 day at a time. You’re right though enjoy and treasure the grandchildren.
Wishing you lots of strength
Marie
Hi Marie
I feel for you, having lost our daughter in May this year, following surgical complications. Moving forward is never easy, especially after the funeral when everyone else seems to see it as closure, but for us it’s only the beginning. Take every day as it comes, some will be easier than others, treasure your daughters memory, do what you need to do as there are no right or wrong answers. Above all look after yourself! Take care!
Thank you so much. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Ours too was so far and “ just didn’t go to plan” as the doctors told us!!
You are so right re after the funeral which was only 2 weeks ago. I look around and just watch people who quite rightly just carry on with life but I feel like I’m lost in a sea of unfairness, I think I’m going mad.
My son is severely autistic, no language etc and so doesnt understand but I think he’s sensed a difference as his sister was so close to him and always there!
Thank you for you message though, it’s just one day at a time.
Stay strong x
Hi MembMP4, I am very sorry to learn of the loss of your daughter. I feel your pain because I lost my beautiful daughter to Ovarian cancer in October, aged just 41, after a gruelling 2 year fight against that awful disease, I feel devastated, empty inside but am taking it day by day. I have 3 grandsons and a loving son who needs me, so they are very good reasons to carry on. Christmas has been very tough, and it’s my daughter’s birthday this Friday, so another tough day coming up.
I am so sad to hear your news. I hope you’re getting through ok. My daughter was 28 and had previously had to freeze her eggs but never got use them so there’ll sadly be no grandchildren for me. I hope you get lots of pleasure from yours though and can remember all the good times.
It really is just one day at a time, isn’t it, but so so hard.
Thank you for reaching out
Very best wishes xx
Hi Lin5
Thank you for your kind words.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Cancer took my Mother and Father from me so I do have some idea of what you have been through and what you are going through now.
There are no words I know of that can describe the pain we are going through.
Friday will be tough but my thoughts are with you and I’m here for a chat anytime you want 24/7
This forum has helped me already in the two days I’ve been here and I’m sure it will help you.
One day and one goal at a time I guess 