My wonderful loving husband died last August, after a stroke which paralysed him from the chest down. He was so brave, always trying to be optimistic, but Sepsis took him from me, after 3 months. I miss him so much, that I can’t even put it into words. I try to be cheerful with family and friends, because who wants to spend time with a weeping elderly lady. I am on my own most of the time, although my son comes to see me. I am so lonely and unhappy. We loved each other so much. Yesterday, I made myself get a bus to the town, but didn’t enjoy it at all. I feel pointless, because I am no longer needed by anyone.
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I’m so very sorry for your loss. I absolutely applaud you for going into town yesterday. I spent a lot of time in the shops just after Alan passed. Good job the sales were on !
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So sorry for your loss, you are needed on here, your words will help others, as in time others words will help you
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Hi @Lully
I know exactly how you feel.
It has been 8 months for me and i thought i was doing well but this week the crying and grief comes back well it really doesnt leave just sits in background waiting to resurface.
Like you dont like being at home anymore so go out i dont drive do jump bus to shopping centee garden centre town.
However i get there are look around at people together and realise im now on my own
No family contact here in UK and my friends dont stay close by so it really is lonely. Tried to join some club’s but my heart is not in it anymore.
Hopefully this is part of the healing process but not sure anymore
Hate weekends now what to do on your own now ?
Lynne
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Sorry, pressed the reply key by mistake! You are so not pointless. Life without our partners is very difficult and not what we would choose and it is very hard to carry on sometimes especially when we feel we have to put on a brave face for others. Would you be able to talk to your son about how you’re feeling? And if not maybe a counsellor (via the GP or CRUSE maybe). Are there any bereavement groups locally where you could share with others who understand and they can share with you so you help each other? It isn’t easy to take a step forward but you may find that it helps. And of course this community is here to listen and share. Even reading about others experiences is so helpful. Reach out and you will find support here. You are not alone x
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Thank you to everyone who replied to my post. You are very kind. I have had experience of bereavement before, as I lost my first husband to Pancreatic cancer. I was in my early sixties, and all I could see was blackness in my future. I was still working, so at least I had something to get up for. I had no intention of ever having another relationship. I went to bereavement classes, but soon left, as they didn’t seem to help. Some months later, I bumped into a man that I had met at the classes. We went out to his club, and soon fell in love. It was as though it was all planned for us. We eventually married, and were together for 20 years. Now I am old and my sight is going, and I know that no one needs me any more. He loved me so much, and I felt the same. Life can be so cruel.
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Life can be so very cruel . It sounds like you have so much life experience to share .
A bereavement group helped you find a new relationship. A new friend ship , being with others might be something to reconsider as a starting point .
You will decide what you are in need of most.
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Thank you for sharing that. I’m at the point you were when you lost your first husband and your post has certainly given me hope that things can turn around and life can be worth living again. x
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Arvia I do hope that you will be as lucky as I was. He turned out to be the love of my life. That is why my life seems pointless now.
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I know how you feel. I lost my hubby in November. He lost his battle with cancer. A month later it was our great grandson’s birthday. Then Christmas, then in January it was my hubby’s birthday. I feel lost. Helpless. Miserable. I dont want to do anything. Fair play to you, for making yourself get out.
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@Galaxy75 Every time you post on here it is like I am doing the posting. 8 months for me too and I thought I was doing quite well until this weeks and now I am back to square one. I am crying most of the time and feeling very exhausted and cant settle to anything. I too take myself out to garden centres with cafes for a coffee but as you say everybody seems to be in couples and it makes me even more lonely. I suppose this awful weather isnt helping. I just cant seem to see any point of life at the moment but I have to believe it will get better for all of us going through this horrible time. Take care,
Ann
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@Lully, so sorry for your loss. My husband and I were together for 50 years and he was the love of my life. My life seems so pointless now too. I am finding it very hard to carry on. I am finding it very hard to realise that nobody really cares anymore like a partner did. Take care,
Ann
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I understand you totally, its 14 months since i lost my husband suddenly, grief is the hardest pain of all, i had no idea how depressed i would become, what i still do is take one day at a time, i have no plans for the future, spend most of the time on my own (my choice), you are not alone this site is a support for us all.
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After thinking that I was beginning to be able to control my emotions, I had a complete meltdown, and cried all one day. The trouble is that I long to talk to someone who really knew my husband. Mostly we were just together, and that was all that we needed. If I could laugh with someone about how funny he was, and talk about things from the past, I know it would help me. I still have everything as it was, in our house. I would hate it to seem as though he was never here. I am still trying to get out, but using buses that are infrequent does not help. Life now is an endurance.
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Their is a unique and special caring from your life partner isn’t their . It’s like it has its own unique code. I too have felt that no one else will love us the same .
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Annie take look at my post in response to yours .
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Lully sending you a Big virtual Hug. X
AnnieG1 Thank you for the hug. I am sending one back. My husband was the best hugger ever.
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I completely understand how you feel. I lost my wonderful husband seven months ago after watching him fade away after having had an ileostomy, various infections and finally having sepsis. We had been together 40 years and I did not and still do not want to go on living. I have no children and feel surplus to requirements. I am in awe of those who have the determination to battle on. All this technology is new to me and I really don’t understand what to do so apologies to everyone if I’m making a mess of it. Mabel2
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