My mum died recently

Coping with bereavement
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My mum died. I am not coping well at all. I feel so alone now. How do we carry on.

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Hello Sadlady24

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,
Rhi

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I feel exactly the same. Im wandering around feeling lost. No idea what to do with myself. Im thinking about mum constantly and wanting to know that she is ok. It all feels very traumatic and i can’t seem to believe ill feel any better.
Sorry…no word’s of wisdom, but i can truly empathise x

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I have recently lost my mum and am to, struggling to cope. Mum had COPD and has been poorly for some time but she was still independent with her care and managed around the house. This came as a shock and sadly I arrived a few minutes after she passed which is haunting me. It has only been 2 weeks and I am so scared I will be unable to cope. I miss her so much it’s painful

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Its really difficult. Don’t beat yourself up about not being there. I know its difficult, im constantly asking myself what i should have done differently. Its such a horrible time. I try to take it a day, or even an hour at a time and hope it gets easier to bear, and it seems to, but very up and down. Be kind to yourself. Try to treat yourself as you would a grieving friend or family member. Sending you lot’s of love xxx

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Thank you.
It is early for me but I feel like I have already experienced a range of emotions and scared that I will become worse. Can I ask how long it has been for you please?

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Just over 2 months. Myself and my sister moved in with mum when shevwas diagnosed, and stayed after she as it didnt seem right to leave, i have only just come back to my own house and it hit me again. Ive found the last few days really tough. I have found it helps to almost chat to my mum. Tell her about my day, family etc. Sometimes in my head or out loud (if im on my own!). Im not sure its getting easier or that im learning to accept it. Hafe you got support? X

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It sounds like you and your sister were a great support for your mum at the most difficult time.
I keep telling myself that this would happen one day but nothing prepares you for when it does happen.
I have 4 brothers and sisters who are very supportive and who are dealing with it in their own ways. It’s still very early and we have not even had the funeral yet so that is causing anxiety.
I hope you have support too x

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The funeral will definitely be causing you anxiety, and will no doubt be traumatic. Mum’s funeral was difficult but i did feel better afterwards. I think the sense of loss and emptiness continues though and its learning to adapt and live with it. Im dreading Christmas. I hope everything goes well for your Mum’s funeral and im glad you have the support of family xxx

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Thanks for all your help and support. My mum’s pensioner friends had a memorial mass for her. My mum didn’t want a funeral. So until 18th January we won’t be scattering her ashes and having a little get together. But I think the memorial service helped as I found out my mum was cremated the day before. It’s going to be a strange Christmas but my mum wanted me to carry on. She is not suffering and I believe she will be with me forever. I hope you are your family are ok over the Christmas. It’s such a hard time. Thank you so much for your lovely words x

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I lost my mum a few days ago, we weren’t the best duo and I knew one day that should would pass but not from going in to be treated for a bad UTI
I wasn’t able to see her as the unit was limited to visitors due to having two staff on, I keep thinking did she ever ask about me to the nursing staff, asked to call and they didn’t allow her ? I’ve gone from the sobbing my eyes out to feeling nothing , I think as she left her body to medical research she won’t actually have a funeral . has any one else had dealings with a parent who’s done this , all i feel is that I just won’t be able to cope without her being the end of the phone