Oh dear, Ali7, that sounds like a real nightmare. Hope you and your Mum are feeling a little calmer now. X
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There was a bit of a disaster at the flat which my son owned and which we are now hoping to rent out. There was a water leak from the flat above and it resulted in part of the kitchen ceiling falling down. So I have had to drive over to the flat a couple of times in the past 2 days, to mop up all the water and put buckets under the drips. I have also spoken to the upstairs tenant and her landlord, as well as various workmen. I have now arranged for someone to mend the ceiling which will be done once it has dried out. Whilst dealing with all of this, it was fine and I was able to act normally, but now I am back in my own house and have started to get very tearful again. I think it’s the same old thing of putting on a brave face in front of others, but then falling apart privately. In a way, I wish the leak had happened when my son was still alive, because then he might have come back to stay with us for a while and we might have been able to help when he fell very ill. But I know all these what ifs and if onlys are just silly wishful thinking.
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Its not silly wishful thinking at all, every day my mind is say what iff we just want our babies back. This life as it is is no life i ferl i just barely exist. Like you i tried to put a brave face on for people but have given up doing that. What you see is what you get… a mother who is deeply grieving the loss of her son xx
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Morning everyone, I think of Rupert all day but there seems to be a change and I’m coping a bit better. Don’t get me wrong I still miss him like crazy and always will but I’m calmer. It’s his birthday on the 18th which no doubt will be hard but I pray this calmer state of mind lasts. Thinking of you all xxx
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Ali76 i went to my medium fri night and my son was so strong, he was making me smile and cry but i felt a new kind of inner peace. It will be 21 weeks this Wednesday and the pain of missing him never goes, i miss him more than words but i understand what you are saying. Would give my everything to have him back though 
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I’ve been in tears since writing my post but feel calmer again at the minute I’m so glad you found some peace xx
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I think it’s the fear that somehow we are betraying our children by not crying as much. I still weep every day - usually for a few minutes, although sometimes it can still be overwhelming. But my beloved son is in my mind every single waking moment and he will be for ever. I am at least able now to set my mind to other projects, projects that I have decided will all be in honour of my son. I am currently working in my garden to make it as beautiful as possible for him. I hope he likes it.
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Sending lots of love to all xxx
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Found this online and it’s so true x
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Wonderful true words xx
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The words convey perfectly how we all feel
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Morning ladies, after a couple of days feeling “calm” i had 2 massive meltdowns, there was no trigger just tears started to fall i was at home, i was talking to my son and got myself back on some kind of level.
The days just roll by taking me further away from him.
21 weeks tomorrow and i relive every moment every Wednesday.
I miss my boy so very much, this “new life” we find oursrlves in is not what i ever envisaged and certainly not for me.
I so long to hear his voice, read a message from him and just see him again.
I try to keep myself busy but he is forever in my thoughts.
Sending love to you all xx
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Do you have the name of the medium you recommend please?
Thank you.
Sorry I forgot - I have just asked my sister for the link or details - I’ll get back to you tomorrow
Thank you very much.
Would you be able to share who your medium was please?
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24 weeks. Still hard to believe you are gone. Remembered with so much love and missed with such aching sorrow every single waking moment of every single day.
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