My son has gone

I lost my 30 year old son to suicide last Sunday I just can’t stop crying he lived on his own and was a alcoholic he used alcohol to help with mental health because he tried to get help but no one took him seriously, I was with him on the Saturday and he was really drunk and told me he was going to kill him self I just wish I’d taken him serious the I would have stayed with him and kept him safe, my son was lost and I just wish he had come home we loved him so much this pain is unbearable


Dear @Mark56

Thank for bravely reaching out, it is not always easy. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of you son, there are no words to describe the loss of losing a child.

There is an organisation Survivors of Bereavement By Suicide which may be of support to you. You can chat to them on a National Support Line 0300 111 5965 Monday-Tuesday 9am - 5pm. If you prefer to email them you can on

You can also find a Support Group by typing in your postcode on the website. There is also a Forum you can join.

For someone to talk to straight away there is the Samaritans on 116 123 for free and is available 24 hours a days, 365 days a year. It is a confidential service.

There is a Sue Ryder resource I would like to share with you and it is Grief Guide that contains useful information to help you cope with your bereavement and grief.

I hope the above information will be of help and support to you, you can also connect with members here by using the search bar who have been in a similar situation as yourself.

Please continue to reach out any time, we are all here for you.

Take care.


I know there is no words that will ease the pain but thanks for replying, I keep going to Daniel’s house every day I know it’s silly but I feel close to him there but iv soon goto hand the keys back to Daniel’s house then I just don’t know what I can do to be close to him I really am struggling with the loss of my son

Hi Mark so very sorry for the loss of your son my heart goes out to you.I am a widow of 12 years we had 1 child our son Mark.He was a wonderful caring loving son.Sadly he had COPD Non Hodge Lymphoma and Alchoholism for many years .He had tried often to stop without success.His breathing was so bad he was hospitalised and he never came home.That was last March.He was 51.His very last words to me were AM I DYING MUM? I go over and over it time and time again.He did stay with me the last 6 months of his life helped him as much as I could but its so hard to help somebody with alcoholism really is.Myself and hubby and Mark himself tried so many times over the years.As parents we want to do the very best for our children and most of us do as I am sure you did Mark.To lose a child to suicide is so very very sad.There is nothing I can say to ease your pain as mine continues every day .All I can say is people understand here on the forum and dont be afraid to open up.My best wishes to you take each day at a time xxxx

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Thank you marg1 it means a lot, I can’t get Daniel out my mind day and night it’s so so painful. Daniel was never a happy child but always managed and he was at his happiest when he was with his younger brother who is 11 Daniel has been left home for 2 years but when he was here he was always with his younger brother and they was inseparable, Daniel left home because of a family problem but his mum was always going to see him but this is when he started drinking and it just got worse every week, the last few months iv had to go to his house in the early hours and most weeks he would end up in hospital with injuries but no matter what no one would help, I just cannot see a way forward I’m absolutely in bits to the point I’m physically sick

It’s my son’s birthday on the 7th of February he would have been 31 I’m dreading it.

Oh gosh Mark so bloody hard.My Marks life over the years up and down so I can relate to a certain extent what you went through and what you are going through.My Mark 12 months passed in March his dad 12 years 18th Feb.Your boy 31 7th Feb no age is it will be hard that day but its hard everyday.I know you will be thinking what should could have been his life.It seems such a sad waste .Your whole family will be going through it.Grief comes out in so many ways but through all the grief I have experienced over the years I now know the loss of a child I personally feel is the worst.Yes physically ill ,empty, lost sleeping alot not sleeping at all.I could go on Mark.Just take comfort if thats possible that you can open up on the forum.Take care of yourself x

I truly don’t know how anyone can get through this pain I thought it was bad when I lost my mum and dad but this is a million times worse, nothing else is on my mind but my son even when I go out someone only has to look at me and I just break down in tears.

I know Mark I have had to tell friends family to just accept the fact that I can not help but cry at any given moment.No need to comfort me all the time just carry on as normal.I had a plumber call the other day .He was barely through the door when I broke down I felt foolish and a bit sorry for him. I very briefly explained what had happened and to ignore me and carry on with work.
Anyway Mark take care one day at a time.

I’m really not coping with the loss of my son I just don’t know what to do I’m so alone with this pain

Iv got going back to work on my mind because I know my work mates will be asking me why iv been off work and I know I won’t be able to answer them I will just break down crying

Hi again Mark I have just read a post from Jim under the heading COMING TO TERMS under topic losing a child.Its a long post but its wonderful it expresses everything we feel as bereaved parents.He posted it about 10 hrs ago.Do try find it and have a read.
I wouldnt worry about getting upset in work your feelings and tears are a normal reaction to what you are going through .People should accept that.Marg x

Iv tried to find the post marg1 but I couldn’t find it but I’m not very good with things like tech stuff

I found the post marg1 and it’s a nice post but I think no matter what I’m reading I just cannot see anything helping this is so hard

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Is it normal that when you try to talk to someone you just break down and cannot talk because this is happening to me and I just can’t get to a point where I can talk

Very normal Mark it really is.God love its only just happened and in such tragic circumstances x

Thank you Marge for taking your time to answer it means a lot

My son is on my mind every second of every day and night nothing else is on my mind I cannot even think of anything else nothing at all does this last week’s months or years or is this not normal

So sorry Mark this really is normal 10 months since I lost Mark he is in my head 24hrs a day.Your loss is so raw Mark nothing I can say to help you.They say time is a healer sadly its not.You just have to get through each day as best you can.At some point counselling may help you not for everyone but I have heard of instances were it has.Nothing will bring our boys back maybe at some point there may be an acceptance I and you will wait for that day.Cry Cry cry if thats what you feel you must.I dont hold it in x x

I’m going to Daniel’s house for the last time in a hour this will be hard very very hard because in some way I feel I’m still with him when I’m there, the undertaker has just phoned me but I couldn’t even get my words out to talk to him I feel so stupid