Dont feel stupid funeral directors are used to it.Totally understand how you feel about Daniels house its another step in your grief .My Mark had a lovely flat full of a vast vinyl collection cd collection music and book collection.At the time I made it my mission to make sure his collections went to friends and family that appreciated his taste .I was proud to be able to do it.Mark I do feel that once you say goodbye to the house and have Daniels funeral sort all necessary paperwork etc you and family will then at least know you have done your best for Daniel and sadly then you will just have to take each day at a time dont be hard on yourself and grieve in your own way.Mark do not feel embarrassed about showing your feelings the worst thing a parent can go through is the loss of their child x
I’m back and that was so emotional I sobbed my heart out
You did it thou well done!
It feels like iv lost him again I know that sounds silly but it really does
Doesnt sound silly at all Mark believe me the feelings you have are the same as any loving grieving parents.New to you of course and this is why you are questioning your feelings…Every so often reread Jims text I thought he expressed it all.
Marg
Jim has sent me a PM and his pm really do help me a lot I would love to sit with him and talk to Jim errr we’ll try to talk if you know what I mean
Thats absolutely brilliant Jim sounds like a man that would help you Mark.Good luck to you will sign off now and I hope you and myself ind ways to get through this in the future.Take care x
I keep dreaming my son is in the room l see his face looking at me from the side of a set of drawers in my bedroom is this something that is normal because it feels so real
2nd week in to this pain and done my first week back at work but it’s been terrible my mind is always on my son I just can’t get it out my mind and I don’t know what to do, iv got chapel of rest this Monday then funeral on the Wednesday I feel so frightened and on these day iv goto try be strong for my other young children but I know I won’t be I will be a complete mess and won’t be able to support or help them which makes me feel even worse
It is extremely hard but unfortunately we are chosen to go through this.I have no interest iny life xx
So heartbreaking, nothing I can say to help you with your excruciating pain. Here we understand & know the indescribable pain & yearning. All those thoughts of thinking we are going mad are normal. You are amazing managing work, it may well be your saviour…a positive distraction but go easy, baby steps, the shock & rawness will ne taking so much out of you. Exhaustion will exacerbate an already incurable pain. I’m so sorry you are suffering, so sorry for us all.
I agree,the only thing that keep me going is my work x
Tomorrow is going to be a very emotional day for me because it’s Daniel’s 31st birthday and I’m missing him so so much.
Oh Mark, it will be a sad day for you and your other children - who will be missing their brother so much. I just want to say I’ll be thinking of you and send love and prayers for your beautiful Daniel 
I will be letting a big rocket firework off at 7 tomorrow night called “ the king reborn “ and watching it with tears streaming down my face words cannot explain how much I miss Daniel.
You’re doing something special for your boy tomorrow night - and it will be emotional. I suppose we will always be trying to do something for our boys, in some way. My Daniel would have been 32 on 22nd December and some of his friends asked me to join them for a wee meal. I didn’t think I could do it as I was scared of breaking down, but looking back I’m glad I went. I felt better for it and I hope your Daniel will be watching you with pride tomorrow as you remember his birthday. I’d like to think my Daniel is proud of me for trying to keep going. Just one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. I’m finding that advice to be so true - we really need to take it slowly, as it is a long road. Take care and look after yourself - we’re all behind you❤️
Well today has been heart braking and when I got home the undertaker phoned me to say Daniel’s ashes was ready for collecting so off I went on my own to collect Daniel so he was at home for his birthday because home is where Daniel really wanted to be not living on his own in a rented house, my heart it truly broken 
Hi mark i totally get where your coming from such early days baby steps .you have gone back to work so quickly .your doctor should help you .theres a thread on here lost son at 27 .lots of mums and dads on there always someone to talk to .life is cruel and we have joined this sad club .i lost my sam on 27th april 2021 .to sarcoma a rare cancer he lasted four months from diagnosis. He was the bravest person i know. It feels like yesterday .theres no meaning but we have to carry on .for my daughter .we are all broken .but we have to try live this new life. Sending you strengh and love zoe
I’m still slogging on but I’m still in this deep dark hole and to be honest things are not getting any better for me at all the pain is terrible and still missing Daniel so so much.
Mark please don’t feel you’re alone. I lost my son Alex aged 27 three weeks ago. As he had mental health issues and physical ones we’re not sure what exactly happened until the results of his post mortem tests come back (could be another 11 weeks). He had schizophrenia and aspergers and had many failed attempts at engaging with mental health services and had attempted suicide previously but was currently self medicating with cannabis. To be honest it seemed to work better than any prescription he was ever given and he’d had 11 different types of antidepressants. I feel massive guilt that I failed him. His house was a mess and a hoarders paradise and even though he wouldn’t let me in to help him, the guilt over how he lived is just overwhelming. Some of the things i’ve found that he wrote are extremely dark and it’s clear he had a very different view of situations than I did. These are difficult times we’re going through so please try to be kind to yourself.