My soul mate

Hi, I have recently just lost my wonderful husband Adrian, he was 57 and died very suddenly. Adrian became ill over two days and died on the third day after what we though was a virus. My whole world has feel apart. I have lost my soul mate, my best friend and the kindest man you could ever meet. We spent all our time together, working and relaxing or on a fun days out.

We haven’t had his funeral yet and I am really struggling, I am constantly crying, asking him to take me with him.

The shock is too much to bare and I don’t want to be in a world without my soulmate.

I am really desperate to speak to people who are going through the same thing.

I think more to try and make sense of this all, if I ever will. Adrian was fit and health, so the shock is even worse, to lose someone without a long term illness and to have to do CPR on them for 40 minutes until the paramedics arrived is also to much to bare.

I am struggling and really can’t cope

Sam xxx


Hi Sam. I’m so sorry for your loss. Twenty months ago I was in your position doing CPR on the man I love. He sadly didn’t make it. Every day I wonder how I got through the last. I still can’t believe he is not hear. All I can say is is we learn to grow our life inch by inch around our grief. The pain softens but never leaves us. I still cry most days. The anxiety gets mdd we when I least expect it. Life is an existence. Maybe it will get better. If I do go out or l as ugh I have this enormous sadness and guilt. How can life go on when mine has stopped. I’m sat on the sofa and have this lump in the pit of my stomach. It all seems even worse if that’s possible with Christmas looming s as no people laughing buying presents and partying. They don’t see our unhappiness. They don’t have to. It’s the sudden unexpected the thing I never planned for. My husband was here living our normal life and then he was gone. I still find it hard to come to terms with. Sending you hugs. This platform does help talking with others who have the same heartbreak and struggle. I don’t want to feel like this I want some normality xx


Hi Sam … so sorry for you loss. It is still very early days for you, so be kind to yourself. Everything you are feeling/expriencing is unfortunately quite normal.
I too lost my husband and best friend of 46 years very suddenly at the end of May 22. He was fine and went out on his bike for exercise as he had done hundreds of times before. He had a cardiac arrest and never came home … after 5 days in ICU they turned off his life support as no brain activity. The shock is horrendous, but it didn’t really hit me properly until after his funeral 5 weeks later. I felt, and still do, like I was living someone else’s life and he would walk in the door at any time.
This time of year is especially hard. Just take each day at a time, and get through it the best you can.Hopefully you have family and friends around to support you, but be prepared for long nights lying there and wondering why …
I can’t tell you it becomes easier with time, but it does become more manageable … I still cry most days, and am sure I will for the forseeable future. … but I can now talk about Stephen …and want to talk about him … so that helps me.
If you need to vent and scream then just do it. If you need to talk you can pm me with the greatest of pleasure … just do what is best for you and let the rest of the world carry on around you.


Hi im the same I lost my wife on the 30th November she died in hospital I was with her,she was my soul mate,best friend and my wonderful wife I miss her much,she was the most caring wife in the world never moaned about her illness and got up with smile on her face,if you ever want to chat I’m here for you just message me anytime,so sorry for your loss


I’m so sorry for everyone’s loss, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced, my partner died from cardiac arrest on the 25th Nov, it’s absolutely destroyed me. I have the funeral on Tuesday 13th Dec, I have no idea how I will ever continue without him.
Sending love to all xx


It is heartbreaking reading everyone’s experiences and the pain they feeling.
I can certainly u deter and everything Everton saying etc
My husband also passed away suddenly and I have to be thankful for the happy memories we had together.
I have found it really difficult to carry on however we have to think of what they would have wanted us to do as upsetting as it is.
Someone recently said to me you will never get over it but you may learn to live with it somehow .
Also no one rise understands how we feel
Unless they have experienced such a loss .
It is the worst thing ever like a nightmare .
Just can’t wait till Christmas is over .

Take each day a step at a time


Hi @MemberD72. My husband died suddenly on the 10th November. We also have his funeral tomorrow Tuesday 13th. I hope you get through it without too much torture. Personally I will be glad when it’s over. It’s been like a big black cloud hanging over us. Big cuddle and strength to you for tomorrow x.

1 Like

Thankyou so much for these words and I’m so sorry to hear about your loss

Thankyou for your words, it gives some sense of what has happened to me. I am try to focus on the moment but my mind wanders so quickly. I hope and pray I will cope. We really have little choice but to do so, any strength that can be offered is welcome.

Thankyou for your words x

I’m so sorry Jean, thank you and a big hugs and strength for you for tomorrow too. I’m lay here awake nearly 2 am I’ve got to be up in 4 hours, I hope we get through tomorrow xx

1 Like

Hi Sam43

Im so sorry for what you are going through.
I lost my Husband 6 weeks ago. I still cant believe it. I wake in the night and for a split second i think everything is ok but it never will be again.
I can say that as the weeks pass it is a bit better than the 1st few days.
I would say after the funeral though it hits you like a sledgehammer.
Take care xx

Sending you strength for today. I hope it all goes ok xx

Hi do you mind telling me how we can pm someone? Xx

I just touch someone’s name and a pop up box appears …there is a message me button in there. I am on an iPad so not sure if it the same on a phone

Thinking of you and hoping it all goes well, it will be tough and you might feel over whelmed but hold in there, be kind to yourself and do what you need to do

Hi Sam,

Like you I lost my husband aged 59 suddenly on 25th July this year at our new holiday home in Mersea Island. Both myself and Daughter had to do CPR as ambulance took so long.
He was very slim, walked every day, never smoked and went to Gym 3 times a week, We were told he had a widow makers heart attack, how can somebody who appears so fit and used to be told he looked 10 years younger be taken this way ? So full of life always planning.
I together with my family are having bereavement counselling, and every day is a battle. I have a photo of him both downstairs and up, and I kiss it every morning and night.
Whilst I can never see us accepting our loss, we will adapt in time to a new life, not one we chose, but a re invented one.
I wish you all the strength, be kind to yourself.




I can’t believe how many of you have lost partners suddenly around the same age. I lost my husband suddenly on the 28th October. He was 59 and we had been married for 39 years
The funeral was only last week as we are waiting a coroners investigation.
I planned the service, booked a double slot and made sure it was a true celebration of his life.
The night before I panicked and just wanted to stay in bed and cry, i didn’t.
200-300 people attended and many said afterwards that they didn’t want it to end. There were tears but also laughter.
Now 5 days later I feel like it’s the day after he died. It’s horrendous! Cry,cry,cry.
My mind can’t process someone is there one
Minute and gone the next. Just left with memories

1 Like

I’m having the same problem one minute I was having a laugh with my wife then she became ill on the Tuesday and died on the Wednesday at age 54,im still in shock,we was together 24/7 due to me being her full time carer and husband,and its my first Christmas without her aswell,its hard and lonely aswell.

I do the same kiss my wife picture and tell her I love you baby and miss you.