@Stuey999
My daughter has similar traits but never diagnosed with ASD - typical of a girl masking the problem but to meet her you wouldn’t know the depth of the difficulties she has.
Today for example I decided I couldn’t go out as I had planned as she had gone back to bed, curled up in tears not knowing why. Not grief for her Dad but just ‘one of those days,’ which she has from time to time. She needed a lot of reassurance and for me to be here really. We got through it and she’s not bad tonight.
It is tiring being a career too so even more you need time to process what has happened and time for you if at all possible.
As I said before, we are here for you.
Hugs xxx
My wife and I became much much closer over the final months following her cancer diagnosis. I made sure she knew that I loved her and I did everything humanly possible for her. But since her death, I often look at her lovely photo and wonder what is the point of my life now that she has gone. Part of me wishes I had gone with her. I can’t imagine how I could ever get over the heartbreak I feel every day. I still talk to her a lot, mostly to tell her how much I love her.
Ueh exactly same with me too ! I lt gives u such a bond when you look after them near the end … but then its more the crueller when they pass too oh dear … i got a puppy so i got somebody else to love but ofcourse that doesnt replace my husband … it just distracts from the pain of losing him xx
I lost my husband 7 weeks ago unexpectedly, he had been messaging me right up to an hour before he died to not be by his side when he died as left my heart broken he was my soul mate my best friend my first and last love
I hear what you say when part of you wish you had gone too, I have kind of a weird look at it being male, it’s kind of my job to go first but I’m so glad my other’alf did not have to go through this pain, I watch TV and laugh then feel guilty for laughing, then all of a sudden a wave hits you
@Lin22
I am so sorry for your loss, I had taken my wife to the bank (all my fault with her card), she for years had said cant get my breath, been to docs and everything, even her mum was used to her saying this as she always pulled round, this day was no different, got back, went to the chemist even though she said she would go, sorted out my meds and boom, my world ended, i was there kind of and i cannot thank the emergency services enough, they were there in minutes and the amount of work they put in was amazing and then it was over
I know we miss them so much dont we ? I miss my husband nearly all the time … its so exhausting that yearning! I keep thinking why didnt i make him go to drs earlier … i knew he wasnt right i lost my husband 2 months ago xxx
My husband was taken into hospital on 29 December after being told he only had a 30 percent chance of recovery he amazed us all and was getting better texting to say he was looking forward to coming home I never thought that half hour after him messaging me he would have a massive heart attack it’s like my whole world as as gone
Oh @Lin22 how difficult for you to accept that he has gone. My fit, slim, active 60 year old husband went out to play football last April with our usual quick kiss goodbye as I was on my weekly Skype call with a friend. He never came home having suffered a coronary embolus whilst playing. You just never know do you?
I hope you have support around you at home and you will certainly find it here. Post anything you like and you’ll find people who understand.
Sending love
Thank you all for your support it’s just unbearable at the moment still trying to come to terms with it, loved him so much, to think I’m
never going to see him again is breaking my heart
It does doesnt it breaks your heart that you are not going to see their lovely face or feel their hugs … i miss his hugs so much … he had special kind hugs xxx i dunno why god does this to us and i dunno why he does it to good people either ? X
@KarenF
I don’t know what’s worse, going quick or watching them suffer, I never ever thought it would be like this, the shock, the sorting things out, making arrangements and trying to do your best by them, I didn’t really know what she wanted, my wife could be a bit feisty and we didn’t really have any friends. Her mum said she told her she wanted a direct cremation, I struggled with this, it would have destroyed me if I had a normal thing and nobody showed, in the end the local firm up the road sorted everything for me, everything local, I got the chance to say goodbye, they even dressed her for me and I could be at the cremation to see her off, then it all goes quiet, life continues. I saw a post today that said when we lose someone we don’t want to heal as it’s the last connection we have, x
Nothing prepares you for this, I lost my husband suddenly too in January, it was our anniversary last week and we would have been married 46 years. We were still very much in love, and I also miss his hugs and kiss goodnight. Despite my terrible heartache I do feel so lucky to have had someone who loved me unconditionally, and it is that love and bond we shared that helps me get through each day. I do hope that someday we will be together again. The love we have for our soulmates will never die
Yeh thats good … i am very aware his love not there anymore - thats what does me in ! I enjoyed that love so much … its just a day at a time isnt it … he is very missed … but i gotta try snd carry on for him i suppose ? Gotta try and find peace haven’t we ? I keep thinking he wouldnt want me to be really unhappy x
It is just a day at a time, and one foot in front of the other. What else can we do? I am so sorry for your pain and broken heart, someone said its the price we pay for experiencing love. Just know you are not alone, I am sure they would be sad to know we are so distraught, and would only want us to find peace and go on with our lives. Talking and sharing helps, I know it helps me. His love is is still with you and always will be xx
Yeh i know talking helps - its just i come from a very strange family who for some strange reason dont want to talk about it ! Its almost as of they think if you don’t talk about it maybe it didnt happen ? I dunno its very bizarre !! Xx
That must be so hard for you, maybe some people find it difficult to talk about death because its too emotionally difficult. My mum is the same and will change the subject or just say ‘it is what it is’ which feels so dismissive. I am lucky to have a good set of friends who I can talk and cry with. This site is helpful too and will always listen and respond. Just reach out when you need. Sending you healing thoughts and love xx
Yeh it is hard for me ! Ive got my name down for bereavment counselling ! Theyre really weird ! Its like theyre all running away from it !!! Well whether they like it or not as a friend said to me - it will happen to them one day so its inevitable ! My kids seem to have just gone into their own lives since the funeral but again thats avoidance … people are strange how they handle grief for sure ! Youre lucky you got your friend’s who don’t mind talking about it to you xxx
oh dear … i got a puppy so i got somebody else to love but ofcourse that doesnt replace my husband … it just distracts from the pain of losing him xx
he was my soul mate my best friend my first and last love 
