To Jenny and everybody else that has replied
I just want to thank you sincerely for your kind words. It has been a truly horrible week. I went to see my wife yesterday in the coroners office, it was an experience that will live with me all my life. I would describe it as neither good nor bad. I was so pleased to be able to see my wife, to have a conversation with her and tell her about the outpouring of love that has come away, as well as tell her about how proud I am of her and the way that she raised our 9-year-old daughter means that she is dealing with this situation so much better than I am. It was horrible seeing my wife laying there and not being able to pick her up and hold her and for her not to be able to give me a kiss back.
The community of rallied around us. Memorial gardens have been planned, She will be part of the Christmas tree turn on in our local town in the form of a memory tree, the triathlete club that she was a member of are wearing stickers for her, all the BP garages in the area (Ali worked as their accountant) are raising funds for brain cancer research which Alis dad died of last year and Ali was an advocate for, raising thousands herself in sponsored bike rides.
Her school have been brilliant, they’ve put pastoral support in place as well as emotional well-being counselling. However at the moment she is coping with the situation. She is Alison through and through. Don’t worry I’m not naive, I know that will not always continue to be the case. Am I making sure that the appropriate help is in place as soon as it’s needed. She will also have myself, my sister, and countless, aunties uncles grandmas and grandads.
I am also getting support. Part of which is talking to you on here, so thank you for listening. I’m still in a deep state of shock. I’ve had a terrible week in terms of emotional outbursts, I cannot compute what has happened. It was such a random and fast act of violence. She went out the door on Monday evening perfectly normally, drove down the road that she has driven hundreds of times before and never came home because of a stolen car going the wrong way. But, and I say this conscious of Michaels earlier post, I am surrounded by love. I’m also now receiving professional support, with a charity BREAK having assigned a case worker to me. I have also been put onto emergency referral with MIND. The doctor is trying to help me with some sleeping issues.
In a time of absolute grief, my daughter tenth birthday will happen on the 16th of December and of course there is Christmas, so I’m doing my best to make it as happy an occasion as I possibly can. So today we’re putting up the Christmas tree. We’re also going to see Santa tomorrow which my wife and I had already booked for Emily. Next week we will start to arrange our funeral for Alison and then a celebration of life wake.
I would not wish this experience on my worst worst enemy. It is truly terrible. And feels hopeless. But to close on a positive, I am absolutely determined to continue to live in Alisons Legacy, and raise Emily to be a Wonderful young woman.
