My wife passed away a few weeks ago

Hello. My wife and I were married almist 45 years. She was a nurse, I am a retired teacher. She was awaiting a second hip replacement. Sadky, she passed away in intensive care a few days before she had a pre assessment appointment for surgery.

Hi Malcolm, I’m so sorry for your loss, you must miss her terribly, at the moment you will be kept busy with all the things that need to be done at this sad time, I’m hoping you have family to support you, it’s early days, you will never stop missing her but in time you will be able to start living your life again, just take one day at a time and accept all help offered, sending love xx

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Hi. There. I am so very sorry for you loss. My wife died 21 months ago and I still feel the loss. But as Jude says, it does get better in time. Now at the moment that may seem like nonsense to you. The initial pain and shock is still with you. You have suffered about the worse form of trauma any human can have. It’s good you are here among folk who understand and care. This site was a Godsend to me and many others. I was very hesitant to come on here at first because so many said ‘it will depress you’ How wrong can you get!! It uplifted me at a time when I needed it badly.
I got so fed up with well intentioned people who came out with all the old platitudes and cliches. A day at a time still applies and is always helpful. Looking ahead at the moment is not wise. Give yourself time and the space to mourn. It is a process we go through, a painful and at times an almost unbearable process. But on here you will find many who have survived the ordeal and have remained to help others.
Take care of yourself. And please come back whenever the need to unload arises. John.


Hello Malc,
I am new to this as well. Married 44 years until june and am pretty desperate. I cant say much I’m afraid at the moment but I have found the people on here are fantastic. You, and I, are not alone. Keep posting. Jim


Thank you Jude. Luckily, I have a wonderful daughter, son in law and sister who have handled lots of arrangements for me, also, where we live is a small seaside village where we have many good friends. However, I am finding it extremely difficult, my emotions are everywhere. Malc

Thank you John

Hello Malc, so sorry to hear what happened to your wife. I know the unexpected shock just adds to what you are going through. My husband was a Malc and a retired teacher too , he died suddenly about 5 months ago. I think it has taken this long to get over the shock and begin to accept the enormity of what’s happened so don’t expect too much of yourself too soon. I’m glad to see you have good support, it really does help although of course all you will be wanting is to have your wife back. Sending love and support x

Thank you. I am sorry to hear about your loss as well. Some days I don’t know what to do ir say next. I go out and come home expecting to see her smiling at me. Other times I feel she is with me, or just over my shoulder. Then I realise she isn’t. I seem to have a constant headache, get very restless yet have little enthusiasm for doing anything. I also ache all over from when I was looking after her. It is the suddenness that I can not get my head round.

Nothing to say really, except I understand how you’re feeling and know how terrible it is. Everyone wants to help but nobody can and you’re at the very beginning of it all, the most raw and confusing time. Hope you
manage to keep coping, I know how difficult it is. And keep posting, hope it will help you, it does me x

My heart goes out to you. I lost my wife 3 years ago and I’m still learning to walk along side of it. There isn’t a timescale it takes time that we all have to live through. Life for me is a little easier but the pain of it is still there on a regular basis.