Hello. My wife and I were married almist 45 years. She was a nurse, I am a retired teacher. She was awaiting a second hip replacement. Sadky, she passed away in intensive care a few days before she had a pre assessment appointment for surgery.
Hi Malcolm, I’m so sorry for your loss, you must miss her terribly, at the moment you will be kept busy with all the things that need to be done at this sad time, I’m hoping you have family to support you, it’s early days, you will never stop missing her but in time you will be able to start living your life again, just take one day at a time and accept all help offered, sending love xx
Hi. There. I am so very sorry for you loss. My wife died 21 months ago and I still feel the loss. But as Jude says, it does get better in time. Now at the moment that may seem like nonsense to you. The initial pain and shock is still with you. You have suffered about the worse form of trauma any human can have. It’s good you are here among folk who understand and care. This site was a Godsend to me and many others. I was very hesitant to come on here at first because so many said ‘it will depress you’ How wrong can you get!! It uplifted me at a time when I needed it badly.
I got so fed up with well intentioned people who came out with all the old platitudes and cliches. A day at a time still applies and is always helpful. Looking ahead at the moment is not wise. Give yourself time and the space to mourn. It is a process we go through, a painful and at times an almost unbearable process. But on here you will find many who have survived the ordeal and have remained to help others.
Take care of yourself. And please come back whenever the need to unload arises. John.
I am new to this as well. Married 44 years until june and am pretty desperate. I cant say much I’m afraid at the moment but I have found the people on here are fantastic. You, and I, are not alone. Keep posting. Jim
Thank you Jude. Luckily, I have a wonderful daughter, son in law and sister who have handled lots of arrangements for me, also, where we live is a small seaside village where we have many good friends. However, I am finding it extremely difficult, my emotions are everywhere. Malc
Thank you John
Hello Malc, so sorry to hear what happened to your wife. I know the unexpected shock just adds to what you are going through. My husband was a Malc and a retired teacher too , he died suddenly about 5 months ago. I think it has taken this long to get over the shock and begin to accept the enormity of what’s happened so don’t expect too much of yourself too soon. I’m glad to see you have good support, it really does help although of course all you will be wanting is to have your wife back. Sending love and support x
Thank you. I am sorry to hear about your loss as well. Some days I don’t know what to do ir say next. I go out and come home expecting to see her smiling at me. Other times I feel she is with me, or just over my shoulder. Then I realise she isn’t. I seem to have a constant headache, get very restless yet have little enthusiasm for doing anything. I also ache all over from when I was looking after her. It is the suddenness that I can not get my head round.
Nothing to say really, except I understand how you’re feeling and know how terrible it is. Everyone wants to help but nobody can and you’re at the very beginning of it all, the most raw and confusing time. Hope you
manage to keep coping, I know how difficult it is. And keep posting, hope it will help you, it does me x
My heart goes out to you. I lost my wife 3 years ago and I’m still learning to walk along side of it. There isn’t a timescale it takes time that we all have to live through. Life for me is a little easier but the pain of it is still there on a regular basis.
I am new here too, sorry for your loss,My Husband passed away 10 weeks ago we had been married for 44 years, I cared for him for 6 months at home through the covid virus it was tough but I coped .He went into the hospice ,in July it was difficult with the virus only getting a hour a day but the staff where angels they looked after them and my daughter,s and I, I have joined a few groups keep my self busy but its so raw ,
My wife and I had also been married 44 years when she died in June. I am finding it hard to deal with but would just say that there are brilliant people on this site and I am sure you will find it very helpful. Jim
I know just how you are feeling its hell and no one understands unless they are going through it themselves . To lose your partner is hell . Take care
thankyou , for your comments
It’s a world nobody understands until it happens to them. Sometimes I feel that it’s the one’s left behind who suffer the most. The pain is too much at times. My heart goes out to everybody who is living through this.
Thank you all for your replies. I feel so very sad at the moment. I really can’t see much of a future, both with this and the covid thing. My mind is so mixed up. Today I cannot seem to get going at all. It has been five weeks yet it feels like only today I was holding her hand. For some reason I feel like I have hit a brick wall. I have been trying to cope with this but today I don’t feel I can.
To all on here who are finding it so hard to cope,it really is hell and such a different type of bereavement . When you’ve been together for such a long time it feels like half of yourself has just gone and there’s no way round it. Five months for me and I’ve been crying uncontrollably most of the morning, having just found a card he’d written to me. It seems we just have to roll with it if we can and remember that not every day is going to be quite as bad, as is often said on here it comes in waves and sometimes they just knock you off your feet. Nothing we can do about it, just try to keep getting through another day Sending love to all and especially Malc, hope your day will improve a little bit xxx
I had one of those days yesterday , lots to keep me busy but no motivation had a black cloud hanging over me :o( keep telling myself that tomorrow will be a better day
Thank you all.
I’m having one of those days again today. I’m sat here in A and E asking for help. This I’m told is a positive and strength. I feel like a failure though