Thank you for taking the time to send me your message and I’m so sorry too for your loss. I definitely loved deeply and can say without exaggeration she was the love of my life. I don’t have to tell you because you are going through the same but at the moment I can’t bare the pain. It comes in waves through the day. Again thank you and sorry x
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Rjay thank you for your powerful words I totally get what you are saying and would love to read those books. What scares me reading about loss on here is that people are still feeling the grief so long after. I can’t bare the pain at the moment and to imagine it never stops is heartbreaking. Sorry for you loss too, 48 years together is a lifetime. I had 18 years with my beautiful wife and would give anything to start it again and tell her so many more times how much I loved her. Thank you Jay
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Hi petermac, bless ya that is so kind and sorry for your loss. I hope you tell me as time passes things do become easier because at the moment I can’t bare the pain. It just comes in waves and stops me in my tracks. Thanks petermac
The amazing kindness of grieving strangers on this site is so inspiring. So many people wrote to support Eddie in the recent loss of his wife Gill My David died 3 months ago and each day is a challenge. At first my brain wouldn’t function properly and simple tasks seemed overwhelming. But I don’t cry for hours as I used at first. That was so draining it made me ill. I mentioned taking up Tai Chi before and it’s helped a great deal with restoring my strength and calming my mind. Lots of videos on line. It’s worth trying. Christmas is going to be very hard for us but it’s comforting to know there are other people who understand our pain. Take care of yourselves.
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Bless ya LMJ1 lovely words and so sorry for your loss also
Nice words about the kindness is strangers on here . They really do help you get through your days . It’s now 3 months since I lost my husband . I now longer cry , and I have found swimming has helped me
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@EddieN
I hope you are finding this forum helpful. I don’t know what I would have done without it. There are no easy solutions to our grief but it helps immensely to know that on here you are among friends.
I also find it therapeutic just typing how I feel onto the screen, it really helps to sort out my thoughts.
The books I’ve been reading about Near Death Experiences are by Dr Raymond Moody, an American Psychiatrist and Philosopher, were recommended by another member of this forum. His website and videos can easily be found online.
We each have to come to our own conclusions about these things but I found his research reassuring.
Take care.
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I messaged my husband for over 2 years it was like a journal & was so helpful for me. It’s not weird at all & it’s your own personal journey so doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. I also wrote a physical journal with all the funny stories I could remember & all the places we’d visited, that was really therapeutic for me too. I got a bench for the churchyard with his name on & sponsored the local junior football team in his name & have a tree in the Remembrance wood we’re lucky to have close by. I’m determined whilst I’m still here he will always be remembered & that’s my way of coping, you will find your way but be kind to yourself & don’t expect to much of yourself either. Losing someone this close to Christmas is hard too, my husband passed away 6 years ago yesterday & my Mum on the 12/12 last year. Sending love & strength 
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Thanks Rjay I will look at those. It is helping to type my thoughts on here and its lovely to know people are there with kind words, thanks mate
Hi Jodel712 thank you for taking the time to message. You mentioned some good ideas with how you are coping and the things to keep his memory alive. Im not coping well at all at the minute so your words were an inspiration, thank you and take care
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Good Morning Eddie, as I said, I would check in on you. I think it would have been nice just to have someone check on me and be just a listening ear. So, please, express your heart.
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Morning Peter though here its early evening. Been a very tough day. When I awoke I thought all was ok but then soon as I got downstairs I just fell to bits. It’s been like that all day coming in waves. I can’t stand been in the house without her which isn’t good. I feel like I’m not in a good place at the moment and just wish I was with her. Im not thinking of anything daft as I have a daughter and two stepsons, Gills children and wouldn’t put them through anymore. Im still hoping for a sign but nothing. The funeral probably another 2 -3 weeks away yet so can’t even put that behind me. Anyway Peter hope you have a good day mate, take care and thank you for checking in
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Hi again Rjay just to let you know I’ve ordered a set of 3 books written by Dr Moody so going to give them a go. Also watching a documentary done by him too and it is actually really helping at this moment in time so thank you very much for recommendation.
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@EddieN
Thank you so much for your kind comments. If these books can bring a little light into your life then I’m delighted.
As I said another member recommended them to me and it has made a difference.
When you’ve read some of it I would love to discuss the subject with you and compare our conclusions. I won’t say anything now because I don’t want to influence you.
Take care.
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Oh Eddie, I am so so sorry for what you’re going through. I just came on here because I lost my beloved husband suddenly 3 weeks ago and felt like I needed support. I keep wondering if there were signs I missed. It’s such a horrendous time and, like you, I just want people to leave so I can cry alone. Whatever you do is right for you. Try not to question it or try to behave how you think you ‘should’. It’s a physical pain and sometimes you’ll feel you can’t stand it for another second. I have a chair that I call my safe chair and when I’m feeling especially desperate I go and sit in it, take some deep breaths, cry if I want to. When I feel able to I get up but it gives me somewhere to take refuge when I need it. Don’t feel alone. We’re all here to support each other. Look after yourself.
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Hi Eddie, I can’t offer any advice, but I can tell you that I am exactly where you are in this horrible waking nightmare. My husband died unexpectedly the day after your dear Gill, so I feel your pain right this very second. It’s excruciating. He was suffering terribly with depression and was alone when he died, which breaks my heart. I too am desperately looking for a sign.
Take care.
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I lost my husband 5 weeks ago and I thought I was the only one who spoke to the person. It is reassuring to know that I am not going mad. I believe in God and feel like my beloved husband is in heaven but I still talk to him when I come home to an empty house.
I have had a near death experience myself so I am not afraid of dying but that doesn’t stop me missing my husband and wanting him back.
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Morning Rjay that is a nice idea and id enjoy the discussion. Take care
Morning Cathy, thank you for the message. Im doing that right now wondering if there were signs that I had missed, I feel like I’m just torturing myself as I can’t bring her back. I like the idea of a safe chair, I might give that a try. The support on here is lovely and definitely making a difference. So sorry for your loss to. Again thank you for taking the time to message
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Morning HelRen, so very sorry for your loss. I awoke this morning and didnt feel too bad until I got downstairs and then it all started again. Your right calling it a nightmare one I wish I could just wake up from and all would be right. We will get a sign I’m sure of it. People say it happens when least expecting it. Take care of yourself and message whenever you need to vent