I’m five weeks in…Sel died on 7th December and I’ve been totally numb until today when I feel wretched and quite ill
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Just getting through the day is an achievement! As others have said take it an hour at a time. Be kind to yourself
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My husband and was the same , although it was 4 months ago now
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Just accept whatever you feel you need to do at any given time x
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Another week. Hope everyone finds some moments of xomfort.
A big week for you Helren. Look after yourself
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I hope everything runs smoothly this week in the run up to the big day
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Mandy so sorry for your loss. There is nothing like the grief we are all going through on this terrible journey. When my Gill passed away on the 16th December a part of me went with her. When your up to it keep posting on here because there are lovely people on here who’s words I’ve found so comforting
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Sometimes it us too raw, and writing a post seems impossible. So I just read the comments from others. That is OK too…. Our journeys are individual but we have so many shared feelings, emotions and experiences that I always find comfort here x
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That’s exactly how I felt when I lost my husband. Like I’d lost a part of myself . I also felt like I had lost some of my self confidence as well
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@Mandyoz
I am so sorry to read about your loss and the grief you are suffering.
I lost my wife in December 2024 and am still trying to work out what’s happened.
Your comment that your partner took half your heart with him struck a chord with me. My wife and I were soulmates and I felt that she took part of my soul with her. However I also feel she left part of her soul with me because in many ways I have retained the “couple” personality and can think like her when needed.
For instance I’m ashamed to admit that I had never used a washing machine in my life. I had plumbed a couple in but using them to actually wash clothes had never really occurred to me! However when faced with a stack of washing I instinctively knew what clothes to wash together, what program to use, what soap and how much. I also took the cleaned clothes from the machine and hung them up to minimise creasing!
More significant was the Christmas card list. My handwriting is atrocious because I have arthritis in my hands and I was dreading writing the cards. I thought possibly I might manage a couple of cards a day before my writing became illegible. However, when I came to write them, not only could I manage them in batches of ten between tea breaks but they were written in a very neat hand that looked very much like my wife’s writing.
I suppose what I’m saying is look for the signs that your partner is still there for you. All these little incidents can be dismissed as coincidence, which they may well be, but take a note of them and they start to add up.
Number one rule though is to look after yourself.
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We all learn new tasks after losing our partners .my husband died suddenly and i often think i cope better than he would have, i am the stronger one .
Although there are a lot of diy jobs i cant do
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I also felt like I’d lost part of me when my husband died . I have also lost some of my self confidence
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Your right one of had roles we played in our partnership . My husband did all the diy jobs , I did the cooking, cleaning etc . I had a problem with my front door hand,nt a clue what to do . Then I remembered my husband said put graphite inside the locks . It worked i was so pleased with myself
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@Sherbet10
You are right. I’ve also lost confidence in my ability to do some jobs that I previously wouldn’t have given a second thought to.
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Thank you so much for you kind words.
I am still trying to figure out why it happened .
I was at first thinking why did this happen to me. Bus then realized there are 100s of other people who have been through the same similar. Because I don’t have family or friends I looked in to chatting on different sites and so Marie curie and this site is the only place i feel I can talk to who really understand . I am sorry just rambling . I to stop the uncontrollable crying constantly xx
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It’s nice to know it’s not me who has lost their confidence
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I was like you in the beginning of this horrible journey . Asking myself why it had happened it seemed so unfair . I have come to the conclusion that like you say it has happened to a lot of people . Keep posting there a lot of nice people on here that understand what you’re going through
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Thank you so much. I just cannot believe it is a week today it just feels like it was yesterday we was opening Christmas presents and smiling xxx
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It’s 4 months for me
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I am sorry to hear that. It is heartbreaking x