Sorry for your loss.
I myself lost my soul mate on 5th January
And it is like no pain that can be described
I have never felt a pain like it in my life
Almost 21 years
Sending hugs to you 
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My partner was 56 years old too x
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I understand. No words can describe. The pain is so unbearable. The more you love, the longer the love, the greater the pain. I have same age son with 7 rabbits…very intelligent and all house trained. Like you I have cross culture race and religion so the love has to be very strong to bind the relationship for so so long. So young. Even people in the times of the bubonic plague lived till their sixties and seventies. I am so sorry. Bad things happen to good people. What is God trying to hint at??!!??
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I’m really struggling today, can hardly eat and am on my own feeling so lonely 
. This is unbearable, these long night can be awful. Am trying to call friends to break up the evening but once I hang up I feel lonely again. How do I cope with these feelings, it just gives me knots in my tummy then I can’t eat either. I thank this site to be able to talk to others in the same position as me. Being on this unbearable journey is so painful.
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I agree the pain is unbearable. I’m really struggling to even eat anything as my tummy is in knots. Talking on here at the moment is the only thing keeping me going on the lonely nights alone. It’s horrible 
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So sorry for your loss. I know that dreadful unbearable pain, am in it right now. The pain is unlike anything I’ve ever felt. It’s been 18 weeks for me and food just tastes horrible right now. I can’t eat or sleep.
My thoughts are with you and all of us here in this horrible cruel path we’re on. We just want our loves to walk in the door. Life is just to cruel. Nothing else to say. Hugs to you all this evening xx
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I was like you in the first few months. Couldn’t eat couldn’t taste coffee. Knots in my stomach. I lost a lot of weight. I hate to say it but it’s part of the grief process. My appetite has returned, there still certain things I can’t eat . I haven’t eaten cake since my husband passed away. As we always used to go out for a coffee and cake as a treat. When my son and daughter in law went back to work it was really hard . The loneliness is really hard to deal with. I try to keep busy, it doesn’t always work.
No one truly understands until they go through it . Keep posting on here
Thinking of you
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I miss our trips out, I don’t have a car, it’s very isolating here at the moment. Thank you for sharing your experiences, it really does help me. I’m sorry you’re going through this awful time too. My son is back at work and can only stay with me some nights, I understand that, he’s been amazing, my rock. It’s been a long night tonight, I have to say. But sharing in here just helps to keep things in perspective to a degree. Otherwise I just spiral into a downward mood, thank you for all you comforting words. I do hope you’re doing ok tonight. Thank you once again.
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I know it’s unbearable Hun .
Just let it out crying is a good thing .
Let it all out it’s part of the grieving process .
That was advice that some of the lovely people in this group said to me .
But another thing is the is no right or wrong way to deal with the grief .
We are all here and going through the same or similar as you and I x sending you hugs
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Hi elio
That must have been terrible for you my heart.breaks for you i lost my husband off 44yrs 5 yrs ago and not a day goes.past where i do not think of him he was in hospital for a chest infection which he should have gor better but it was in 2020 and i was only allowed 1hr per day to see him and i knew something had gone wrong paul needed a.lot of care at home and needed his bowels working everyday if that stopped then that was it and they stopped them working and that meant he would not survive i was told bank holiday tuesday he had 24 to 48 hrs left to live so i told them i wanted him home and we got him home but i only had 1hr with him and he never spoke so i never got him saying he loved me or anything as they would not let me kiss him because of the infection not covid i was devestated i wanted more time i wanted to hold him i wanted to kiss him and i got nothing i miss him everyday and i am ao angry at the hospital but cannot.do anything or change anything it will not bring him back and i blame myself for all of it it is my fault if i had been there this would not have happened i have let my husband my soulmate down in the biggest way ever and that sort of pain never goes i have appoligised to him for letting him down
Sarah
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Thank you. I do cry alot, it is a relief after, but so exhausting. Thank you so much for all you support on this site. I’m so sorry you’re going through this awful experience too, sending my hugs to you x
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Thank you 
If me sharing my experience helps anyone on here going through this emotional rollercoaster of grief. That can only be a good thing. I hope you get some sleep tonight.
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Rollercoaster it is hun .
I spent the last 2 hours crying but I feel a little better for it it’s strange to think one minute you’re on a rollercoaster of emotions.
And the all of a sudden you slitly normal again like nothings happened. And the off you go again crying a lover again. X
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I can see here it is not your fault. Many of us are not kind to ourselves. Some of us had smoked, drank excessively, did not keep fit or eaten our 5 a day as per NHS recommendation. My wife never drank or smoked. She eats at least 10 types of vegetables and fruits. Goes jogging and long country walks. Although I have never smoked like my wife, I do drink but keep to NHS recommendation of 14 units of alcohol per week with 2 or 3 non drinking days to allow liver to recover. I do eat vegetables of 5 a day but not as varied as my wife. I eat more meat than her but like her do keep fit. On the facts, I should be the one to die, not her.
How old were you both? Was the passing sudden? I had 10 mins with her. She was not suppose to die.
He was 69 but always kept fit, unfortunately it was discovered he’d had an underlying heart condition that we did not know about, I’m 58. He had a sudden cardiac arrest, he hadn’t been poorly, was very traumatic and causes me terrible flashbacks.. I just don’t know what I’m doing to do now. So alone. I’m off work, I can’t face anything.
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My husband was the same never been ill , sudden heart attack.it was such a shock,At the moment I am still sorting finances out . It’s like a big weight on my shoulders. Get through the day the best you can. Try not to think too far ahead. . Look after yourself
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Yes things will be difficult financially for me, I can’t even think too much about it. I just want to be able to eat and sleep properly. My heart still aches. I know it hasn’t been long, in some ways, because of the loneliness, it feels like a very long time to me. I just want to be able to get through the funeral on Monday too, my anxiety is through the roof. Sending you hugs.
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LJ.G
Thinking of you especially having to deal with the funeral on Monday.
The loneliness is so difficult to cope with together with all the funeral arrangements when you have so much grief.
Take care.
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