Hi Rosie59, so sorry about your husband, my husband was 57 when he passed, although hed been sick for a long time. When he passed it still gave me quite a shock, ..im sure this probably wont ease your loss, and its not meant to. My husband suffered so much, he was too weak to do anything , he wasn’t even driving anymore, when I took him to the hospital because he wasn’t well, I just thought id bring him back home like so many times before. But he just got worse, he was there for 3 weeks, they did so many things to him while there, I just wanted them to leave him alone 
. I hope your husband didn’t suffer..we are the ones suffering now..take care and God bless you 
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@Rosie59 I think we do know at some level. I think Ron knew. Things that he said the last few weeks, otherwise don’t make sense. I don’t mean he knew consciously but subconsciously he knew there was something very wrong.
How stunning to wake up to your husband gone! Out of the blue, and yet, as you’ve said, at some level you knew. Ron told me he “loved me so” I responded in kind, I said “are you fading” he said yes, and that was the last I heard. This was a phone call.
Hopefully in time, your last exchanges will give you that peace. Cindy 
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Hi Rosie, I thought to myself before my wife was diagnosed with cancer that my family were very lucky to have all their husbands and wives healthy. I am the youngest of five siblings and they are all much older. I don’t know why it crossed my mind but I blamed myself for thinking such a thing as though it was the cause of my wife’s illness. It still haunts me
Wishing you all the best Tom
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One of my last words to my most beloved husband in the hospital was that I love him and I’d die for him… He was repeating that he loves me all the time…
It’s incredibly painful to write about it, but this is how it was…
Janka
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How do we cope with the anniversary of our loved one’s death. I am absolutely dreading 28th, Sept. The day/night my darling partner died. Should I go out during the day? Should I stay in? Any thoughts/suggestions hugely welcome.
A memory I hold very close….in the weeks leading to his death he twice mouthed “thank you” to me. This was at a time when he was exhausted, incapable of speaking….
but he found the strength to say that.
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@Bonnie3 Is there any chance you can plan something with friends? Or would you rather be alone. I think I will hide, with flowers, tears and memories, when the anniversary hits. Cindy
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I wish I had a memory like that Janka, it must give you comfort. I wasn’t even there when my partner died suddenly. I came home to find him dead. I wish I could have told him how much I love him. Take care.
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Hi, My partner’s anniversary is on the 26th of September. I will probably just take fresh flowers to the cemetery and come back home. That’s what I did on 25th of July, his birthday I’ll have a mass said for him in church and I expect his family in Cyprus will organise a service in The Greek Orthodox Church there.
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On the anniversary of my lovely partner dying, maybe it’s best if I go to bed early and try to sleep through it. I’ve had traumas in my life but I’ve never remembered the “anniversary” of them.
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Hi @Bonnie3
The date my husband passed away is fast approaching 18 September followed by what would have his birthday 24 September. I go to a bereavement cafe and asked people who are further down the down the line then me for some advice on how to cope with the days
They told me the anticipation of the days is worst then than the days them self .
They told me to do something to mark the days . I am already planning what to do .
As I’ve not decided. I know we are all cope different in our grief journeys .
I hope you find something to help you get though the day .
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Beautiful one.
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From what I understand currently, the brain seems to be a filter for consciousness, like a receiver, but not the origin of consciousness which is non-local and not confined to a certain time/space/body. It’s like we’ve always existed and always will and just rented these bodies for a certain time period.
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Hi twoflower
That is such a sad story to read it made me cry but i read it till the end i to lost my husband in a different way to how your dear wife died my husband died at home your story was so true and to the point and i know that must have been hard to write but it was so beautifully put and i can relate to it so much
You say guys dont show there emotions and yes you are so right there
But there is no shame in showing your emotions after all that was you soulmate that you lost your best friend and lover there is no shame in any of that at all i have gone through all the emotions and i still am 6yrs on
Its the biggest price we have to pay for loving them so much
Sweetlady
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Hi @Nancy123
That’s certainly the way I see it and the way modern neuroscience is thinking. I find the idea very comforting because if our consciousness is elsewhere and transmitted to us then it must be with the consciousness of our lost loved ones.
It means life goes on and when we feel our loved ones are still with us, they probably are.
I’m reading everything on the subject I can get my hands on! The secret I think is to be open to the possibilities and not distracted by the virtual reality show here on earth.
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Yes, you named it correctly, the Virtual Reality Show. Haha. It feels real, seems real and looks real, except it isn’t. It’s just all that our limited consciousness can perceive in this physical realm.
After my spouse passed, a lot of information found its way to me and I started really understanding what was happening behind the scenes, so to speak. It doesn’t take away the grief and pain, but it puts it in perspective so we can better understand the true reality behind the “game.”
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Cindy, that is what i did on the anniversary of my wifes passing in february.I bought her some nice flowers for her grave, just stayed at home with memories and tears.I also made a donation to our charity, a Hospice, in her memory.Take care.
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Hi @Nancy123
It is said that we are on this planet to learn and achieve things, apparently we volunteered for the experience!
The question is what could all this terrible grief teach us? I’m beginning to see it as an incentive to be curious about the meaning of life. We’ve been given this earthly body to learn and explore, but most of us have never read the manual.
Our virtual body might have all sorts of wonderful ‘apps’ that we know nothing about. Life could be very exciting. It’s a bit like getting a new car and just using the controls that the salesman showed you!
Losing a loved one is a powerful incentive to be curious. For instance I never thought that I would develop an interest in Quantum Physics in my mid seventies. I hated the subject at college and couldn’t get to grips with it at all, but now suddenly it makes sense, especially since I read the book ‘Quantum Physics and Spirituality’.
A word of caution though. You do have to be careful who you tell about your new interest because it can attract lectures about ‘moving on’. I feel I am moving on though in a very positive way and it appears to be backed by science.
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@brummy I don’t see replies sometimes, making a donation is a splendid idea!
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You have a good sense of humor! Yes, we have apps we haven’t used or been taught to use. I just don’t believe we lose a loved one and the purpose is to torture us. It doesn’t make sense at any level. It’s about learning something, the meaning of life maybe and our purpose for being here (collectively, but personally, too). I think, with purpose in life, the pain from loss can become more manageable at least.
I never studied quantum physics like you! I read about it a bit in Brennan’s Book Hands of Light. I went to her school in the 90’s ( I was a nurse) when she taught. After losing my husband, I try to reflect back things she said/taught. It was mostly about healing through the energy field, but I did start to have experiences of relatives who had passed coming to healing sessions. They were energetically there, not just in my mind. You could feel them, like a person sitting next to you. That opened my eyes and I started seeing more…Now, I’m back in that loop, although a different place, and searching for more answers.
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Hello Nancy123
It seems we are on the same wavelength! I’ve got Barbara Brennan’s book Core Light Healing. I have a painful hip which makes walking difficult and live in hope that Energy Healing can make a difference.
I wouldn’t say I’ve ‘studied’ Quantum Physics, it was just part of my electrical and electronic engineering college course, which somehow I managed to pass. I find myself in what I think they call the university of the third age and thankfully have enough little grey cells left to approach the subject with new understanding.
I now realise that the meaning of life, quantum physics, energy healing and spirituality are all probably the same subject.
Thank you for appreciating my sense of humour. It’s an acquired taste but has carried me through hard times.
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