I am just starting my 2nd year since losing my wonderful, beautiful wife, and for some crazy reason I thought it may get a little bit better, but how wrong I am.
I’m sitting here (Probably feeling a bit sorry for myself)thinking of how things used to be on a Sunday before Hilary passed, what I would give to have those Sundays/days back, just discussing with each other about what to do, shall we, shan’t we, Yes we will. No we wont, what time shall we eat, etc etc, all the simple things you took for granted in life, but no longer there, what you would give to have those simple things back in your life rather then making things up to try and keep yourself busy during the day, and ending up totally exhausted by the end of the day, Love her and Miss her so much, Take Care Mickere x
Thats exactly how i feel its 16 months for me and still i day dream of the times we had together. It doesnt get any easier just seems like im getting further away. Sometimes i cant even remember certain events and that makes me sad 
.
Morning Mickere,
I couldn’t have put it better myself.
I always thought that I was very resilient but since the passing of my wonderful caring husband Pete I realize I’m not…With you in my thoughts.
Love Jenny
Mickere
I’m at the start of my third year and I can add that I have now accepted the grief will be with me forever but it is softer and gentler. I still have very sad days when I miss my darling husband so much but it’s with the knowledge that I will always remember him and I’m so glad he was my soulmate and I’m lucky to have known him for nearly 57 years.
I was just going to ask in another thread if this roller coaster ever stops but can see for some of you it hasn’t changed. I was ok yesterday morning/afternoon, somewhat holding my own but then the night came & my mind went like a clockwork toy. This morning I’m finding it unbearable again, mornings are usually my worst though. For those of you who have gone through this for may years, does it ease, do you adapt eventually? (I’m 8 weeks so still early days).
Hi @Emz. I also struggle in the late afternoon/early evening. I’m just over 9 weeks in and I have to admit, it’s a little tiny bit easier. I still get the terrible despair of losing him at times but not as often. I’m very lucky in that I have the most amazing, large family and friends who have helped enormously. We’ve practically had therapy sessions between us.
@mickere. Since retiring, we always used to have a cup of tea in bed and the cats would come up and join us. We’d discuss what we were doing that day and what to have for dinner. Like you say, all the simple things that made up our wonderful life together. Id then get up and start on cleaning out and medicating my hedgehogs (we ran a rescue) and he would do any vet runs necessary. On 10th November last year, my life turned upside down in seconds, very suddenly and unexpectedly and I was thrown into this hideous life I’m leading now. Big cuddles to you and I’m so very sorry for your loss xx.
Hello,
I’m 3.5 years down the line & yes for me things have improved, the gut retching shock went, the not being able to eat or sleep went, the not being able to control the tears went, not being able to go to a certain supermarket went, the what ifs went etc…
Now I find i still have down days but I also feel happiness in things I’m doing, I’ll always miss my husband & feel his absence especially when I have difficult decisions to make or want his shoulder to lean on if I’m upset.
For me time has healed me, the scar is still there & sometimes it opens a bit but I found when the shock had worn off I had to be ready to join life again, the alternative is living in misery? it was a good 2 years before I could rebuild but as time went by I grew stronger & adjusted to life without him.
Hi Flower_garden
I m about the same length as you and agree with every word. I feel exactly the same and I hope your post can give hope to some members who are really struggling. Like you the down days or moments still appear but I can handle them now and know that tomorrow is another day.
I also found the 2 year stage to be a turning point but with a terrible downward slide for a while and honestly thought I was going backwards then that heavy feeling started to become lighter. Life is not a bed of roses I think you will agree but we can see a glimmer of a light at the end of the tunnel.
Pat
xxx
Yes Pat I often feel that I have travelled this journey along with you & Sheila (aka Lonely) & have gained strength from your posts to carry on 
Hi
On reading all your posts I see slightly a glimmer of hope
I suppose we learn to manage
My Paul passed away 24th July 2022 an eternity it’s still so raw and I’m struggling big time
At this moment in time I for me see no glimmer of light yet
Will I ?
Who knows
All I know losing your soulmate is absolutely heartbreaking……
Take care everyone
Xx
Hi there
We have been travelling that road together along with Kate also. We have all managed to find a life and can laugh again but those memories are with us forever and a day.
I do hope we can bring some strength and hope to the newly bereaved when they start this lonely journey.
xxx
Bess1. My beloved husband died Aug 5, 2022. I am with you, no glimmer of hope as yet. I know exactly what my sweetheart wanted for me. Will I ever get there? At this juncture sure doesn’t feel like it. I so yearn to feel his arms around me, see his beautiful smile, hear his voice, on and on and on. Never known such pain and agony.
I do appreciate the hopeful postings.
Love and peace, Karen
Recently I’ve felt as if I’ve slipped backwards. No interest or motivation in any thing.
Its two years next month since my husband passed so I’m hoping it’s just a “bump” in the road - -
Some days I do feel sorry for myself - but that doesn’t solve anything does it?
Onwards and upwards!
G. X
Hi Grandma
It’s so easy to be ‘down’ I lost Paul 24th July 2022 and I’ve been down ever since
We’ve lost everything and until folk are in our situation they haven’t got a clue
Someone said to me it’s no good crying over spilt milk I might add it was a bloke that said it
I thought in a way he’s right on the ‘outside’ it’s that easy
To me you and others on here it’s the last thing we want to hear
Our situation is horrendous and I hope you feel a little more dare I say ‘up’ this morning
A hard bloody road to be on
I myself am struggling big time
Big hugs
Xx
Hi @Bess1. Who was the stupid bloke? He’d have got the sharp end of my tongue and no mistake! NOBODY knows what it’s like until they’ve experienced it. Someone said about feeling 0 -10 miserable wise but my son said there’s no such thing. There’s only -10 - 0. I go up and down that scale but never get above 0. Big cuddles to you all xx.
JeanB
Thats so true. Im only 11 weeks in, feels ike a lifetime. My friends have stopped calling round. They txt but theres only so many times you can say im struggling.
On the days i feel a 0 its a blessing x
Hi G
Your right feeling sorry for ourselves doesn’t solve anything but if those bad days come then so what. I have a feeling you are learning to cope with them. The two year mark was a bad time for me and not wanting to be beaten I decorated most of the house and with the constant mess I had no option but to find motivation. Plus my dogs needed their long walks plus I had the allotments to keep up together otherwise I could have had them taken off me. So I tried hard not to feel too sorry for myself very often. However I still have those bad days and they seem to come from nowhere so I think we are all entitled to have ‘sorry for ourselves days’.
Pat
xx
Thanks everyone,
The “poor me” has retreated back into her box today thankfully!
My down days will still come around but that’s ok, I will cope with them.
I think I’m feeling a bit neglected - hubby not around to listen to my waffling!!
G. X
Grandma
I do my waffling to my darling husband’s ashes. I just wish I received a reply but I guess that would be a shock!