Hi All
Yes it’s not as simple as that
No good crying over spilt milk……. But ……. In no ones defence if they haven’t experienced it and by jove they will one day they just don’t know what we are feeling and how excruciating the pain is
My counsellor today said we are good actors ….she advised me on our first meeting don’t say your fine if you aren’t
So when asked I say I’m struggling or I’m finding it hard
But on the outside I’m up dressed driving so I must be ok
Behind closed doors and when I go to bed and yes cuddle Paul’s Rab coat it’s a totally different story
On a scale of 0-10 possibly 1/2 on a good day( not many!)
Bedtime -0
What other folk think I do not care I’m finding it really really hard to keep myself above water
Friends disappeared so are they friends ?
I get folk have their own life and yes before Paul passed I too was guilty of that
But when I think fortunately no one my age I know has lost their loved one …… so I’m a first if you like
Yes Grandma I miss Paul waffling to
I still do………I waffle to him anywhere / everywhere wherever I am and by Jove he better be listening ….
@Emz
I think the rollercoaster is a good analogy. For me there is no pattern to when I am at my lowest that I have noticed. It’s not as straightforward as a time of day, or even when things get difficult practically, nor tiredness. It simply happens sometimes.
Sending you love and hope for some better times to come. xxx
Thank you @Flower_garden for your positive post. It’s so good to hear that some aspects of your grief have eased.
I hope many of us find the same path.
xxx
Thank you @Pattidot
Lovely that you are still here to encourage us and give us hope about a decent life ahead, even if it’s not the one we want.
I find keeping busy is my best coping strategy. Not that I have a choice to be anything other than that anyway with the responsibilities I have.
Hugs xxx
Evening @Bess1. I usually love the spring and summer. Im looking forward to the nicer weather but all the family get togethers are going to be really hard. I just find that, at the moment, everything I usually look forward to, I’m dreading. I just want a little joy back but I can’t see it happening any time soon.
Hi Jean
You and me both
Summer …. Plans …… things to look forward to
I’m afraid all gone…… forever
We loved our motorhome to be fair used her more in the winter / spring months than summer( farming!)
This year and for ever more …. Nothing
Charm: I don’t think any of us will ever get over losing someone that we loved. In my case it is almost 6 mos since the love of my life died. It is agonizing every morning to face another day without my beloved husband. A dear friend, who lost her husband in 2006, told me that I will never forget, it will always be painful, but you will find a place for the pain to rest. Well, I pray for that day, but I have to admit, the pain is no better now than it was 6 mos ago. In fact, I miss him more with each passing day. Sorry, I’m not being very hopeful.
I wish you peace and love. Karen
Karetired & Charm
I am just over two years of the loss of my darling husband of 54years. I certainly have not recovered from the terrible loss but I am gradually coming to terms with it and I do shed tears but not the endless tears I used to do. What I am left with is a horrible sense of loss and sadness but most days I can carry on with my life and most people would not notice how different I am. But I know I have changed, the old me has gone. I am hoping the old me will make some sort of reappearance but I’m not holding my breath but I do find I can sometimes laugh and get involved in things.
I send love to everyone and hope they can still find some sense of hope in their lives.
Oh Charm. I understand the feeling. But reach out for help. Try to think what he would want for you. I strongly suspect he would want you to move forward. Just know baby steps are good. One minute at a time. Believe me I get it. All I want is to be with my husband. But I know I will be someday, and the same for you. We are all here for you. You post whatever is in your heart. No judgment here.
Love and peace, Karen
Charm: another thought, I talk to my husband all the time, perhaps you could do that too, or maybe you already do. I know in my heart and soul he hears me. Just know that 2 souls and spirits that are intertwined in love cannot be separated. Make sure you get rest whenever you can. I still have issues with sleeping, so nap when you need to. I have discovered that grieving is exhausting.
Peace and love, Karen