Same as me i fell asleep on the sofa so went to bed but as soon as i got into bed i was wide awake and started to think about my husband the things we did together and how much i miss him i was out all day so thought i might sleep well
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I have had so many bad days in a row. I visit him twice a day and Pune flowers , wreaths etc as it is a green burial site. Lots of people come every day and sometimes chat. One lady took me to her home for a cup of tea which was good. So miserable right now xx
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Pune should read bring xx
Its at the end of the day when i am at home i find so hard do not know what to do with my self so use to cooking diner for my husband and sitting in the bedroom talking to him as he found it hard getting out of bed near the end we had a telly in there for him so he could watch his football when it was on and now his gone i feel so alone and miss him so much
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Hi Sue11
It’s so hard things we used to do and knowing we’ll never do them again
Somehow I just cannot comprehend I’ll never speak see touch hold Paul again
Agonising sheer torture
Sending hugs
Xx
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I try so hard to accept that my beloved sweet husband is gone. After 52 yrs married and 57 yrs together (high school sweethearts) I truly don’t know how to live without him. True soulmates as all of us were. So how do you move on with life? I have no answers. Just all my beautiful memories.
Love and peace, Karen
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@Karetired feel your sadness and pain, as i too struggle. When you have been with a person all you life and they are gone your life goes with them. I have distrations during the week but at the weekends back to the reality of being on my own. Everyone says i am doing really well but they do not see my grief face. Ihave no answers to this one just either other than i hope i can shoulder this grief weight for the rest of my days, however long that is…
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Morning Karen and Allen
Totally agree with everything you have both said
Met Paul when I was 17 married at 21
Funeral on our 44th wedding anniversary ( my choice)
Folks just don’t see us behind closed doors the real ‘us’
How we we find a life when our life was with our soulmates?
I don’t want to I want ‘that’life ‘
Not memories I want to still make them as we all do
Feel totally utterly rubbish and it’s only 7.20am
Suppose I’ll have to put in a face and act
As you say grief and total devastation written all over my face
Not the person I was …… no way
Big hugs
Xx
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I posted this before but I don’t know if Bess or Allen read it, it is worth repeating:
Grief has 2 faces, one where you pretend you are the ok, and the other where your heart silently screams out in pain.
Both are exhausting and agonizing for me.
Peace and love, Karen
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I’ve just been to sort out returning my husband’s car. He was due to renew it this month but now it’s just going back as I have my own car. It was horrendous and I’m a wreck now. I dread to think what I’ll be like next week when they collect it. We used his car more than mine and I used to drive it a lot too. I hate all this. I wish I’d gone with him!
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Thanks Karen
I remember reading your post it’s good to read it again
So true …… spot on
Hi jean
Know exactly what you mean
We bought a new motorhome 16th October 2021
She was our pride and joy
Paul loved her as I did
Sadly I sold her back to the deal ship after Paul passed in July 2022
She was lovely to drive I could do everything but I knew I wouldn’t use her it just wouldn’t be the same by myself
I emptied her , they came to collect her I watched her go up the farm road and away…… then I just collapsed to the floor totally distraught
This life is shit! ( sorry!)
Hugs to all
Xx
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Hi @Bess1 I agree with you this life now is totally s…t. What do we do though … any suggestions because I am at a total loss?
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So i agree with everything said but today i have just booked my dream cruise for October. Will have to save hard but will coincide with 1st year Anniversary. Lifes too short. Its scary going alone but its time to start my bucket list
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@Jean8
I wasn’t expecting to get emotional when Richard’s car was taken away as it was only his driving school car and never used for family events or days out together yet I still sobbed as it was being loaded onto the trailer. Can’t imagine how much harder it was for you when it had that emotion linked to it.
Hugs xxx
Hi @KarenF . It hasn’t actually gone yet! I got into a state just arranging it. It’s being collected sometime next week. I’m dreading it. I can’t bare the thought of it not being on our driveway or seeing him pulling up in it on Saturday evening after his football day. Hope you’re ok Karen. Big cuddle to you xx.
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I’m no so sorry, @Bess1, I’m terrified of them collecting David’s car next week. I’ll go to pieces, I just know I will. He was going to change it very soon anyway but that would have been different.
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I cant bear the thought of Bris car not being outside the house. Im even willing to let the value run down on it. X
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@Bess1 Hi there, it is a very difficult journey we go on but you will find the way forward. Lost my soul mate nearly 3 years ago and still miss her every day. Be brave, you can do it, x
Hi Johnch
Thank you but at this moment in time I like others can’t see a way forward
I applaud Jane D for booking a cruise she is right in her thinking
But I just cannot see any light
Yes we all have a life and my Paul would be the first to say try to move on
At this moment in time I’m stuck……. Big time!
Hugs to all
Xx
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That is wonderful Jean. Happy for you. I must admit I am not anywhere to that point, but you give all of us hope that maybe someday. But my sweet husband and I traveled a lot before we retired, then we were happy to be retired in our new community.
I am grateful for that.
Peace and love, Karen
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