@JaneD
That’s so brave but well done you. We didn’t travel much and the idea is terrifying to me to try that on my own but maybe a little coach tour with my daughter one day.
@JaneD well done for booking your cruise, your right it is what our departed loved ones would want for us but im a long way off that point but it gives us all hope.
Bri was only 47 and we had plans to retire at 60 and go travelling, thats what makes this so heartbreaking. Weve been very lucky and already done alot of travelling, Australia was our fave and have been many times. His sister lives over there and keeps asking me to go over, but i just cant do that without him.
Love and hugs to all x
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Thanks KarenF
I love travelling and have also travelled a fair bit just with my Daughter when she was little, So the travelling bit doesnt phase me. Its the loneliness. But i am alone most days here anyway. It took me 3 weeks of thinking to book the cruise. But i went to see a medium and she said my Husband was there. She said he was telling me to still travel the world and he will be with me.
I am going to take a little pot of his ashes. I know i will still cry at night. I just hope i meet some other singles.
Peace to everyone on here. Life is just a long hard chore every day xx
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Hi Skip
Wow thats so young. My Mike was 55 and it was very unexpected. I was due to retire in Dec to enjoy early retirement too. He was so excited to be having me home with him. We had planned Barbados for his Birthday in May.
I cant quite understand the meaning of it all. I would have been haopy with just a few years of retirement together. Now its just me and my cats. Feels like such a waste x
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Thanks Bess1
Today i wonder if ive done the right thing. A moment of bravery yesterday. But it was only £100 deposit and i can cancel and pay no more right up to August.
I spend most of my days in despair, im still off work with stresd after 3 months.
Just trying to find a meaning and way forward like all of us.
Love everyone x
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Skip
Maybe in time you will be able to go see his Sister in Australia. Im sure she would love to see you and it may be good for both of you. There is no rush to do anything. Its all at your own pace.
I find having to make decicions and having the sole responsibility for every choice made and also the freedom of being alone very very scary.
Ive only ever lived alone for 3 months in my whole life. x
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@JaneD, it is too young, like your Mike, and also totally unexpected. I know what you mean about meaning. Last week i hit a really low point and just keep thinking whats the point, whats the point in anything. Dont see the point in going back to work, (ive been off with stress for 4 months) if hes not there to comfort me after a bad day, or if hes not there to go on amazing holidays together.
Howver last Saturday night, scrolling on facebook i seen a post about a dog needed rehoming. Long story short im picking him up today. I know Bri has sent him to me and hopefully we can be good for each other. Ive never ever lived alone and the empty house and loneliness is so hard.
Love and hugs to all x
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Oh Skip
A dog will be the best thing ever for you. How lovely.
Im a cat person but Mike wasn’t. My last cat died 2 years ago aged 18. I knew i wouldn’t have any more cats as Mike just found them difficult. I was sad but had got used to it.
The day after my Husband died my Son got me a kitten, he was so excited but said if i didn’t want it he would take it. I was all over the place and felt guilty i had replaced Mike with a cat. However she just needed me and i couldn’t let her go. 3 weeks later i got a 2nd kitten, i have always had 2 cats in the past. They love each other and are so cute together.
I think Mike would be happy i have some company. He would absolutely hate them. Isnt it strange how this world changes in a split second x
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@JaneD & @Skip
I do think having another living creature in the house is certainly better than it empty and hope your new pets will help fill the house with love.
I haven’t even had the courage to book that coach trip but at home I’m not bad a lot of the time. I’m lucky that my younger daughter still lives here and needs a lot of input (as well as our two rescue cats) and I am always busy. I also lived alone for ten years before we married so actually being on my own isn’t the problem. Missing that one, wonderful person who was my husband IS. Each of us are unique so cannot be replaced in any way, nor would most of us want that, but it does mean that the loss of that special ‘one’ is truly heartbreaking.
Love to all dealing with our broken hearts. xxx
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I have 2 dogs (Shi Tzus) and a cat. I don’t know what I would have done without them for the last 3 years. I talk to them (a lot!) every day and they are so vocal in their responses it cheers me up.
They are my companions now and look after me as much as I look after them. Cat is 9 this year, dogs are 8 so hopefully they will be with me for another few years.
I’ve realised I don’t want another lady in my life (it took a while to realise this). These 3 are my friends and keep me sane (ish).
Take care all x John
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Hi
Yes a broken heart
Long story but our nephew Simon drives racing cars he won the championship in October
Sister in law Clare asked me to go to awards do
I said no
Simon rang me a few weeks after caught me off the guard said yes
Paul and I went years ago ( he won championships then) awards do then was at The Brewery London great weekend
So awards black tie dinner tonight thankfully not in same place Stratford upon Avon
So ……en route now travelling with Richard and Clare
It’s so hard hard it’s unbelievable
Paul and I would’ve travelled then met up with everyone there
How I’ll cope tonight I’ve no idea
Miss Paul so much he would’ve been one very proud uncle !
I know we all need to push boundaries but I’m so not ready
I’ll see Simon collect trophy then retire to my room alone …… yes heartbroken!
Just thought I’d share!
Xx
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Ah @Bess1 i feel your pain. I had similar situation with my nieces communion. I really couldn’t face it but i did it for few reasons
1, i know if Bri was here he would of gone
2. To support my niece (my husbands niece)
3. I know if tables were turned Bri would of gone
As soon it was over i left and broke my heart outside the church but i was glad i went.
Just 1 step, 1 minute at a time. You can do it. Your family will be so grateful for your support, and your Paul will be so proud of you for going. X
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They’ve just been to take David’s car. My daughter is here with me. It’s horrendous.
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Pleased you have someone with you. We weren’t able to have children so no comfort there. I feel for you all - I can’t face gatherings or couples. It is very early days for me but I feel awful and cry all the time. Xx
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So pleased they help you. We lost our beloved cat 2 years ago. Took so very long to get over him xx
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Hi skip and Karen F
Well it’s over
Nights still young downstairs but I’m back in hotel room
Alone
Just me
Feeling shit
Paul would’ve been one proud uncle!
My life now is utterly horrible
Tonight all couples and why not
I people watched fighting back tears just the way couples ( of any age) look at each other when talking
Never noticed that before
Suppose Paul and I were the same….
Thus life is so painful I’ve got one big broken heart
Big hugs
Xx
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Ps
Tonight…. I’ve never felt so utterly alone in my entire life
This is me
Xx
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Bess1: my heart aches for you. I am so very sorry. This journey of grief we are on seems so long and never ending. I understand.
Peace and love, Karen
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