Never lived on my own in 60 years

Finding it really difficult living on my own I’m 60 and never lived on my own before it’s not something that I wanted and a hate it. No one to talk over the days issues or discuss a TV programme just silence . No one to meet me at door with a hug and a smile. No one to say good morning to with a cup of tea and a kiss. To think this is my life now is unbearable. I have a few friends but it’s not the same . My soulmate is no longer by my side . I feel like a jigsaw puzzle with a piece missing and can never be complete again if that makes sense.

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I agree with every single word you have said, after my wife died 13 weeks ago, I said, I don’t have a problem looking after myself, but what I do have a problem with, is living the rest of my life without my lovely wife and sharing all the things you have mentioned with her, I struggle every day not having her along side me, I dread night time coming, cooking for 1, washing up for 1, deciding what TV programme to watch for 1,trying to plane the following day for 1, I hate it. Take Care x

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I am 60 to and went straight from my parents home to live with my husband when I was 18. Until he died in November I had never spent more than two nights in a house alone. There are so many things I don’t know how to do. And so many I don’t want to do. I suppose it will take a long time to get used to this change but it is really hard.

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I have been on my own now for over a year, i came from a family of 6 siblings to living with my wife 38 years ago she passed away in Feb 2021, The loneliness us unbearable still, the house is dead, no life, no humour, just an empty shell, I dread every evening, I feel isolated and abandoned, my family live some way away, i have 2 children but see them rarely, i have often thought it would be better if i were not here! last weekend the only conversation I had was with my sister who i spoke to on Sunday evening, she has always been there for me but lives on the IOW so visiting is difficult. i never signed up to this life and i don’t want it anymore. its a living hell.

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Totally agree with everything you say. I left home at 18yrs old, from my parents home to move in with my husband. His job used to take him away from home sometimes but apart from that never been on my own, but during those times the children were still at home.
Now, the house is too quiet, no chat, no laughter, no fun anymore.:slightly_frowning_face:

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It is so hard. But my husband told me to live so I am trying. I talk to him a lot. Hope you find some comfort.

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That is exactly how I feel we were married 44 years met 50 years ago on a blind date. As you say nobody to chat to or discuss things that have happened during the day etc. it’s hard to keep going at times

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I am the same. Born one of three. Then moved in with my husband when I married. I hate being alone. As you all say the quiet the doing everything for one. It’s soul destroying. I have always been used to a house filled with love and laughter. X

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Misprint. I now exactly how you feel .The silence is unbearable.
After 17 lonely months I have decided to sell up & move to an over 55complex. I have found a place I really like and have had an offer on my house. I felt good about it until today. I ordered a skip to get rid of all the stuff we have accumalated over 60 years of marriage. Peter was a terrible hoarder & I am sobbing getting rid of all his tools, garden equipment etc. I feel that not just his life has ended but mine also. I know I am doing the right thing in moving as the house and garden are too much for me to cope with, but it holds so many memories. My family are in favour of the move but I feel a traitor. Am I just being silly? I know my life will never be the same again.

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No your not being silly. Peter would want you to be happy and do what’s right for you. Hope your move goes OK. Peter will still be with you in your heart no matter where you live .

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My husband died 2020 been together 51 years I’d never lived alone it’s so hard my family and friends have been very supportive but I miss our evenings together. My grandson is staying at the moment but doesn’t really help me it will get better it has too.

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Hi Joan 3 Welcome to our Community, the one none of us wanted to join, we all hope it will get better, you sound like me and have a good family behind you, which is a great help, but i am sure you are like us all and say no one can take the place of our partners, keep posting as it does help. Take Care x

I feel much the same,my partner of 39years died suddenly and unexpectedly in January this year.We didn’t have children and I have lost my closest family members within five years.
The house I now live in used to be out home,it doesn’t feel like home now.My life without him seems to have lost all meaning and I just hope I will be able to cope better in time.x

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I lost my husband suddenly nearly 2 years ago and I am mostly on my own since then (my younger son is at university). I always wanted a dog and a friend offered me one of her puppies in February.

I can honestly say he is such a joy and every morning he is so pleased to see me, whatever state I’m in. I take him for walks twice a day and meet loads of people with their dogs down at the local park.

He is hard work at times but he is company for me.

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I know how you feel. I’m 64 never lived alone. My husband died 9 week’s ago. To make thing’s even worse I fell and broke my upper left arm a month to the day he passed. I have good family and friends. But they are no substitute for the love and care I would have received of my hubby… I am really struggling doing things with one arm. But I draw strength from the thought that he is looking down encouraging me. Xxx

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I don’t think we are ever prepared for losing out life partner.I find it so different from any other death.My life has changed in every aspect and I’m sure many of you will be able to relate to that.
We carry on without them in such a different way and try to carve out a new path to follow but without the one we loved so much…it’s the hardest thing I have ever had to do.x

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Hi I know exactly how you are feeling. I unexpectedly and suddenly lost my husband on the 1st of February. We were together for 28 years and it is absolutely crippling me being in the house on my own. As you say it’s the little mundane things that we all take for granted which hurt the most. I hope that in time everyone who is struggling, begin to adapt, as I’m sure that our loved ones would hate to see us so unhappy. Take care.

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I lost my partner of 39years in January this year.His death was also sudden and unexpected.I had spent years nursing my Dad and my Uncle,when they died I still had my partner to console me.
This may sound selfish but I missed out on a great deal of time I could have spent with my partner.He was so much younger than them,never been in hospital and had no health problems.He was on no medication early one morning he went into the kitchen and collapsed and died instantly.
It is the shock that lingers on for me,not only that but medical negligence was a played a huge part in his death.He underwent postmodern and a cause of death hasn’t been established even though it is almost 3 months ago.
It could go to inquest and that would put intolerable pressure on me.
Anyone who has experienced a sudden and unexpected death has an extra load to bear.I send pleasant dreams of the future your way.
Right now it is hard to live even a day without our love in our lives but if you can get through that minute,that hour and that day there is hope for a brighter future for all of us.x

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My thoughts are with. My husband of 49 years died on 7th of February. He was ill on and off for years. Watched he’s suffering and cared for cared for him… the last 6 month he was in and out of hospital. I watched him fade away in front of me. The doctor’s kept telling us he was going to be ok given time. So we lived in hope. It was a shock when he’s died both for me and then doctors. He is out of he’s suffering now. I know it must be difficult but try and take sollice in the knowledge your lovely husband didnt suffer. Xxx

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I know what you mean it is hard to find solace anywhere.The last few weeks have gradually started to get slightly easier for me.We are all told to try to think of the positives but that didn’t work for me.For the first few weeks after he died I felt destroyed.I was able to organise the funeral,do all the required paperwork and left nothing undone.
Then I slumped into a deep dark hole of depression.I couldn’t get out of bed,answer the phone or even go shopping.I felt as though I wanted to curl up and die.
The last few days I have felt very different just making the effort to get out of bed having a shower and getting dressed.
I started to feel desperately lonely but dreaded the idea of going out,so I forced myself to go to the corner shop but I couldn’t go in just in case I broke down in tears(I call them my private tears).
Today I made it to the shop and bought some groceries and walked home.I can honestly say that I enjoyed myself.x

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