Never lived on my own in 60 years

That’s great. Take care

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It’s good you starting to get out and about. It’s the first step towards some sort of normality. Take care. Xx

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My situation is the same i move to over 55 place in a few weeks time I hope I have made the right decision

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it is now 16 weeks since my wife of 50 years passed away her service was on Christmas Eve, The 1st time you do anything on your own that you used to do as a couple is very hard the next it is a little easier . There is so many things an thoughts that are there to remind us of the one we lost it always brings a feeling emptiness an heartache. Rebecca had not been well the last 3 years of her life an was in an out of hospital, the last time she was admitted after a few tests an scans the Drs said they could no longer help her . I know now Rebecca has no more pain which is a small comfort. The one,s like us that are left have all the pain an heartache.
God Bless You All.


Good luck Toprate. It is quite a decision to make isn’t it.
At least we shouldn’t be lonely there.
Best wishes, Barbara

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My wife died 6 months ago. I still feel depressed most of the time but my dog has kept me going. He is such good company gets me out and gives me a reason to get up. Don’t know what I would have done without him. Started taking him to agility which is great fun also meet different people


my wife died nov 2020 after fighting and beating cancer but she died of sepsis
my problem is memories i sold our holiday caravan after trying to use it for a few months also in process of selling flat which again to many memories
am i wrong just feel this right way and my children are behind me
just still other things going on which mean i cannot fully get on with life like nhs ombudsman and solicitors as she was let down big style by them

never posted on here before just thought i would

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Hi nigbo2000,
I lost my partner Malcolm on January 19th this year.He was fit and well,never been in hospital in his life and was on no medications.He walked for miles each day and looked after our large garden.
He began to get slightly breathless and contacted his GP who had a phone call conversation with him and without seeing him prescribed medication.Two days later Malcolm dropped dead in the kitchen.
His GP was in a hurry to sign the death certificate but the Coroner stepped in.I was able to hold the funeral but cause of death hasn’t yet been established.I have a dreadful feeling it never will be.x

sorry to hear
it is good that the coroner is involved altho it is an added problem at the time they should get to the bottom of cause of death if you have allowed them to do that
i found the coroner was the one organisation kept you informed every step of the way

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There are two Coroners involved in Malcolm’s case,the local town Coroner and one in London.His organs were sent to Kings College London.
The local Coroner has heard nothing…It seems so awful that a fit and healthy man died so unexpectedly.He had a thorough private medical examination last year and he was in excellent health.The shock has rocked my world.x

fully understand my wife was being treated for 18months with a rare side affect from radiation treatment called smart syndrome which they looked into as we ageed to help research
i am sute they will find out why just things take longer than you want due to things in nhs at moment

I’m sorry to hear about your wife.I had Ovarian cancer over thirty years ago at a young age with was rare for that age group.It had gone undiagnosed and was terminal when I started treatment.I had an overdose of Radiation plus surgeries etc.
I have been left with what they term Radiation sickness but surprisingly I lived.
It is awful for you to lose your wife you must both had a tremendous amount of courage and you must feel so let down.It was two days after Malcolm had been prescribed medication and not actually seen by his GP that he died.
I feel a whole range of emotions,distress,ange,guilt,deep sadness but rarely a pleasant emotion…I do hope that changes…It has been nearly three months.x

Hi pushkin, you have made me smile you went to the shops and enjoyed it, well done. It would be Graham’s birthday weekend another 1st to navigate. He loved a bbq so the family are going to take flowers to his grave and then we are having a bbq and burying a few of his ashes in my daughter’s garden.


Forgive me Griff,I just had a little giggle and I hope this doesn’t sound insensitive but make sure afterer your bbq that bury the right ashes.
I hope I make you smile again but fear of all fears for me today I got in a bus into the nearest town.
I don’t understand why I’m so anxious about the ordinary everyday things that I never had any problems with before Malcolm died.
I used to think “firsts” we’re ordinary days but now I know better,Malcolm and I had a short holiday booked from yesterday through until Friday…it’s really sad.x

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It’s nearly 3 month since Keith died and it isn’t getting any easier. He’d been in and outside of hospital for month’s. The last time I wasn’t allowed to visit him because of the new COVID strain. We were face timing and I new something wasn’t right this time I voiced my concerns especially when he’s stopped face timing me. They said he was poorly and that’s why he was in hospital I begged them to let me visit him but they said no it’s wasn’t fair on the other patient’s. I even went up to them ward hoping they’d letter me see him. But they wouldn’t. He phoned me the Friday before be died. Thanked me for 45 Happy year’s off marraige and that he loved me. They were the last words he spoke to me. I was told on the Saturday morning he’d took a turn for the worst and I could visit him. But he was really poorly then not able to speak very delirious. He was put on palitive care and passed away on the monday me holding he’s hand and he’s family around him. Give them their due they found him a private room so we could all be there. I’d like to think he’s new we were there. But I’m so pleased they let us be there.

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Keith would definitely have known you were there.I lost my Dad a few years ago but six months before he died he had been admitted to hospital with Sepsis and Pneumonia.He was delirious,the doctors didn’t expect him to live and he was out into an induced coma.I asked his consultation if he would have any awareness that I was there,he said the subconscious remembers.
Two weeks later my Dad recovered against all the odds he was sent home and he told me he had a strange dream that I was sitting by his bedside stoking his forehead and holding his hand.He also said in his dream he had been in hospital and a nurse had said he would “soon be at peace”
I didn’t know what to say to him and I certainly didn’t want to upset him,so I never told him the truth,I just said was it a good dream Dad and he said “lovely” .
He died peacefully in his sleep months later.
I hope this gives you some comfort.x

Aw that does give me comfort. Thank you. This is why I like this forum. We can bring comfort to each other with our experiences… xx

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Even if helps for a moment it’s worth it.x

That has made me laugh too Pushkin. I think the anxiety of doing everyday things is the fact we don’t have our soul mates the love of our lives with us anymore to reassure and comfort us if things go wrong. You know if we missed the bus I would phone Graham and he’d say oh just get tge number 8, it doesn’t matter our reassurance has gone. It really is horrible , but this forum makes me feel we are getting reassurance from each other about our feelings and everyday life.

I’m glad I didn’t offend you,no one here has taken me to task,it wasn’t meant to be a crass joke.I nearly said something else about the bbq affair but thought better of it.
I do think humour has a role to play in grief,sometimes a little laugh helps emotionally.
You are absolutely right we have lost our right hand man out supporter and the person who only ever wanted the best for us.
It’s a bit like a young child who has lost a mother,we know life has to go on but how when we don’t have that one person who protected us.xx