New here

I lost my 18 year old son 2 months ago. I saw the #grief kind advert which led me to looking at Sue Ryder. Thought I’d give this a go. I have so many differing emotions which I can’t always put into words. How do I carry on after losing my child?

1 Like

Hi Zoe, I’m so dreadfully sorry to hear about the death of your son, I can’t even begin to imagine how you are coping with this, hopefully someone on this site will be able to help, I do hope you have the support of family and friends, sending love Jude xx

Thank you Jude. I have amazing support from family and friends xx

1 Like

Hi Zoe so very sorry you lost your son :broken_heart:. I lost my son in May and the pain is unbearable, I am beyond broken . It’s like some other reality I don’t recognise. Some times I feel I am going crazy but I come on this site and it helps to find so many others feel the same emotions as I do. When you don’t feel you can talk to someone else you can always come on here and find support and hopefully it helps you to. All we can do is try and be gentle and patient with ourselves , taking one step at a time when we feel ready. At the moment I am just managing to keep breathing and not trying to push myself to fast. I to have good family and friends but I don’t feel anyone can really understand unless it has happened to them. That’s why this site is so comforting . Take care Jss

1 Like

Thank you. The pain is physically unbearable sometimes. I have a 15 year old daughter who I have to keep going for and it can be so difficult sometimes. I don’t know how I will carry on living my life without him and everything he will miss


Dear Zoe

I’m so sorry you’re part of this group and your son has left and gone on ahead of you. :broken_heart:.

I one of my two sons in October 2019, shortly after his 30th birthday- his name is Henry.

The pain was crippling at the beginning, constant tears, rage and disbelief and shock are some of the feelings I had. I couldn’t go out, couldn’t drive, just sat weeping until there were no more tears :sob:

I found meditation (using the Headspace app) a real life saver. Kept the panic attacks under control.

Rest if you don’t sleep, be kind to yourself and know we are all here for you.

I’m sending love and hugs to you and your daughter :heart:

Purple xx

1 Like

Thank you Purple xx

So sorry to hear of your loss, I lost my 20 year old son in May.
I meditate, go for a walk with the dog, sit in the garden watching the world carry on. They all fill the days in and help me put one foot in front of the other.

I wish I could say something really constructive and helpful but sadly, there isn’t an easy route to coping with the loss of your child. Take each hour one step at a time, and just allow yourself to feel all the emotions that you are going through, be gentle with yourself and look to finding some light in the dark days.

I’ve worked on making a memory garden at home, had a Memorial Bench put in the playing field that some son played in as a child and held a memorial picnic for my son, these things have kept me focused and given me a purpose (and a distraction from the emptiness i feel) Without purpose, I just don’t know how I could have gotten through the last 4 months.

I have found much comfort here, knowing that others are feeling how I do has made me feel so much less alone in this awful period of life. I say life, I think we just exist or drift into each minute because we have to and we’d willingly stop the clock and exchange places with our child in a heartbeat if we could!

I had a thought last week during a really painful sobbing session, I was consumed with the sheer pain of the fact that my son has died - and from no where a voice in head said " yes but He LIVED!! "
I don’t know where that voice came from but to focus on his life rather than his death has made this week a little easier to bear the weight of.

Much love to you all xx


Thank you xx

Thank you for such a positive post.

It’s uplifting and makes sense of all the emotions.

Much love
Purple xx

I’m so so sorry for your loss. We lost our son in November last year, he was living in America. It has been the most hideous time of our life. I can never say the D word, I always say passed or lost. As some else has said on another thread, I feel like I am telling someone else’s story.
What has given us some support is our local church, please don’t get me wrong we have not suddenly become crazy Christian’s, however the support and love they gave us was beyond words
As we were not with Ross when he passed part of us feels he will walk through the back door someday and say “alright what’s for dinner”. Unlikely we know, but you have to do what you have to do to get through each day.
Thinking you and sending love and positive thoughts


Dear. Zoe

I lost my daughter very suddenly almost four years ago and I know exactly what you are going through. All I can tell you is that time is a healer and although I will never fully come to terms with losing her, I can now think of her and laugh at the funny things she did and to know she is up there with her Dad helps me too. Do as many things possible in your day. Work in the garden if you have one or maybe a neighbour needs help with theirs. If you don’t work help in a charity shop it stops you sitting at home alone. Cry whenever you feel a need to it does help You will get there in the end. Gina xx


Hi Zoe

I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my 25 year old daughter 8 weeks ago. So sudden and so unexpected. I feel devastated. Stay strong my thoughts are with you.


1 Like

Hi Zoe,
I understand how you feel. I lost my 20 year old in February 2021 and also have a 7 year old daughter that I needed to carry on for. It is the most excruciating pain I have ever felt but over 8 short months I am not in that initial unbearable pain. I know there will always be a sadness in me but will become somehow less in time x

People keep telling me how strong I am but I certainly don’t feel it. I get up, put one foot in front of the other and go through the motions. I don’t want to be strong, I want to be sad. Does that make sense?? I am just allowing myself to feel how I feel, hour by hour

1 Like

How is your daughter doing? Mine is 15 so already a walking hormone but she keeps everything inside, rarely cries - which is probably how she copes but I’m incredibly worried about her.

1 Like

The trouble is that at the moment I don’t want to ‘get there’ wherever that is. I want to be sad, I want to feel the physical pain…does that even make sense??


I feel immense pain. Like a heavy weight is on my chest. Is this heartache I’m not sure. I go with that as my heart is broken into millions of pieces. I stay strong for my other daughter who managed to get back to uni. I think staying strong is a figure of speech as I know we all are feeling the loss of our daughters/sons. I find the question how are you the worst! Do they really want to know….
From being on this website I don’t feel alone. I felt like I was the only mum who had lost her daughter and as devastating at tragic as it is I don’t feel alone. Family and friends don’t understand only mums on here do.
Each day is another day now without my girl and I don’t think too far ahead. One day at a time. X


Hi zoe i lost my son sam in may too the pain is nothing i have ever experienced . 4 months and he was gone . I have so many unanswered questions sam was braver than all of us . Our super hero he had sarcoma a rare cancer. Life is cruel . I feel so alone but coming on here has made me reliaze your not alone .look after yourself we will try to get through this my names also zoe .always here

1 Like

Hi i know how you feel i lost my son sam .and life is crazy the pain is awful nothing makes sense .one day at a time .how do you go on with this love zoe