I just lost my husband 2 days ago to MND a horrible despicable disease. He was my everything and I am profoundly sad. I cant even think of a life without him but I know there must be. I just joined because I need to be in the midst of people who know how I’m feeling.
9 Likes
Hello @Sheffieldyankee
I am so very sorry. It’s getting on for 11 months since l lost my much loved husband, and l can still remember only too well the sheer bewilderment and downright distress of those early days. What l will say to you is that there is no guidance for dealing with this, and there is no right or wrong way. Be kind and gentle with yourself, take any offer of help that comes your way and please don’t expect too much of yourself. You’re at the beginning of a long journey, there are loads of us here to support you.
Sending you a big hug x
7 Likes
5 months since I lost my lovely husband. It is still very raw and overwhelming at times, take it slowly and you need to go with your feelings. Sending you big 
5 Likes
You are not alone. Look into WAY charity. It’s really helped me 
3 Likes
What is WAY charity?
I never heard of it? Do yiu just google it?
Anyway just want to hug
widows and widowers if ok to use those words because even that has to be accepted. Send flowers if it helps like i was grateful for them looking back. Memories to treasure. I still havecthe cards sealedvin a wallet people sent. I read and reread things people sent. And was so touched how kind people can be. Wish there could be a wave of kindness blanket 
4 Likes
So sorry for your loss you are in the right place we are all here going through the same traumatic journey. We understand and support one another always
Take care x
1 Like
@Sheffieldyankee sorry for your loss
MND is a terrible disease
It’s still very early days and you will need support - I hope you do have a family network you can rely on
Stay strong through this difficult stage
@Enorac WAY charity is for widowed and young - support for those under 50
Not used them, but have heard they’re pretty good with their support structure
3 Likes
Awwww bless your heart. I’m so so sorry to hear this sad news . It’s very hard at first but talking I find is key even if it’s a stranger as I’m a delivery driver and ended up talking to my customers on the door about my loss and even cried in front of them where they gave me comfort and had all the time in the world for me. I was lucky enough to have my best friend and parents plus the club I goto were and always have been so supportive . It’s normal to cry and more of it you do will help to cope a little better. I’ve only just started listening to the 80s music we listened and sang too and danced too as well. It’s the silence I hated so I put the TV on to break it plus my ladies clothes in bed with her cent on to help me sleep . Me and my ladies family no longer communicate so I will never know where my Gail’s ashes are so I can grieve so I’ve had a plaque made to go in the garden under the tree she loved so in the 9th April I will buy a candle or two and talk to Gail plus during everyday I do talk to Gail as well if she’s listening to me as I miss and love her so much because I’ve loved Gail for 40 years it’s so hard to let go of. I send love and hugs
5 Likes
Dave 101
I keep my husband, Dave’s, clothes and find it comforting as well. I think it is a good idea to have a plaque made by the tree she liked.
That is the sort of thing I would do as well if I was in the same boat. In fact I put a statue in my garden for my dad but sadly my husband hated them and got rid of them. But now he is no longer here I can do what I like. What is odd is not everything he did I liked in fact he upset me quite a lot but I am still devastated. But I am told realistically that is just being real as no one is perfect.
2 Likes
So sorry for you as it’s just the worst feeling. I lost my husband 9 months ago and it’s so hard but just be kind to yourself, spend time with those that love and support you and slowly you will have slightly better days. Grief comes in waves and I never know when the tears are going to come but I just let them as it’s all part of the process.
Sending you love and strength in the days and months to come x
2 Likes
Way is for people 51 or younger but there is another group called Way Up for older widows/widowers
2 Likes
Enorac
Thankyou for your words bless your heart as yes it’s surprising how keeping items of clothes in bed are so comforting to get through each night. I had the plaque made through Etsy which is beautiful then once in the garden I have a way to talk to her if she is near by somewhere as Gail was the love of my life and was going to ask her to marry me on top of Snowdon so I decided to carry this mission out and put a picture up there with a haribo ring and letter to and my best mate came up with me. Even tho I’m the same where she upset me a lot too but I still put up with the hurt because I love her and always will. I do cry like today but never know when the next session will occur. But that’s part of the grieving process for us all in this horrible situation but together I’m sure we can see a light at the end of the tunnel. The only thing I still can’t do is watch videos of my lady as it still hurts way too much as I have tried and it killed me so I’ve put them in a box till such time in the future I can have the strength to see them.
4 Likes
Dave
Yes I did watch videos of years ago when Dave was talking on a film and kids were young. I look at old photos a lot. Doesn’t make much difference to me if I do or not as to if I cry that has will of its own.
I saw those plaques on Etsy.
Thought of it.
That is a lovely story about climbing up a mountain to propose and leaving a photo there.
Proposing just happened early on because he never kept it secret just it was me not ready. I just decided and regret didnt have all the pomp. Just hired a dress and flowers and that was that. At the time couldn’t cope with fuss but I never did get my big golden wedding anniv party as just missed by a whisker (he died) so had cream tea with just me and our son in a hotel as I didn’t want to catch covid in 2022 but did catch it anyway in December last year.
Horrid leukaemia took my wife 15.12.23 one year in hospital room on here own I was every day down holding hands a praying hi an lows and people say she at rest now not in pain true I know was there to the very end my hart is broken my life I dont like. Tina written this text to me broke my hart every time I read it but it’s so true she was so so brave x
1 Like
Aww brave lady. She sounds like she loved you a lot and was proud of how much you were doing. Cancer sucks.
2 Likes
Thankyou so lost now we was one truly was lucky she one in a million broken now they say life goes on it does but it’s a hard future not just for me for us all who has to deal with daily challenges
2 Likes
I lost my husband on the 31st of October. I’m not going to lie. The first 2 months were manageable due to organising his funeral and then dealing with keeping our house. Lost our car. Now I’m just ANGRY, so so angry. My husband died due to medical negligence at only 53 years old. This isn’t the life I perceived at 46 x
3 Likes
@AngeM sorry for your loss
I also found first couple of months were on auto pilot with so much that needed to be done
After that is when it gets hard dealing with the new reality
Husband was very young - hope you manage to get some sort of justice around the medical negligence
Won’t bring him back, but maybe some sort of vindication
Stay strong
3 Likes
So sorry for your loss. It’s understandable that you are angry when the professional people you trusted have failed you. Please do take care of yourself, especially your mental wellbeing as it’s stressful having to deal with this medical negligence issue on top of trying to grieve for your beloved.
Sending hugs & strength x
3 Likes
Hi so sorry about your loss. Do u think it was negligence?
1 Like