Louiseb I am so, so sorry for what you and your mum experienced. That is absolutely horrific!! I’m in tears reading your experience. How could they treat you and your mum in that way. I am utterly speechless.
Can I ask how you’re doing since your mum passed? I really hope you have lots of support around you.
It’s been a year now and the pain is a bit less. I feel a tremendous amount of guilt about it all still. But we were truly in a bad place at the time anyway. The day I took mum to hospital was 6 months to the day that we had lost my dad suddenly. All that period is such a blur. Both my parents were only 64. Family has been ok but they as many people on here point out people quickly forget. Oh and just to compound it all I’m an only child so dealing with it by myself really. Jeez now I feel like I’m going for sob story of the year!
That’s terrible; I’m so sorry 
.
I am glad that the pain has lessened somewhat but I am so sorry that you’re carrying guilt. Especially when you and your family were so badly let down by the services and systems there to support and care for you. They should be utterly ashamed of themselves.
I know what you mean about people forgetting and for me it’s the moving on with life. I find i can be all consumed with the injustice of it all, and i get upset when people dont respond with utter shock and devastation that i feel. Almost like people withdraw when i share my experience. Maybe that’s just my own perception though.
It all feels so utterly unfair. I do hope that you can find some peace from all of this. You did your best by your lovely parents.
I think a lot of people don’t get it because they haven’t experienced grief and grief that has been compounded by such poor service from the people who’s jobs are supposed to be centred around caring and nurturing.
I realised that if it was a role reversal and I hadn’t been through all of this and everything was normal for me I would probably not have as much empathy as I do now. And be the same as the people who you try to tell.
Unfortunately most of us on here are in a club that most people don’t want membership too and don’t understand fully why not until they join.
I get a bit of comfort from thinking it is lack of life experience when it comes to death rather than just ignorance or selfishness in people’s response to what you are saying.
OMG i have never read anything so heartbreaking. I am lost for words I too had a traumatic experience with my mum whilst she was in hospital but not as bad as you.
Please keep posting as there are so many lovely people on here who will reply and support you through this friendship site. Its very difficult dealing with it all on your own.
Sending love
Deborah x