I hate it when the checkout assistant says have a nice day/evening. I often feel like saying no I won’t!
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Hi All
Yes I feel exactly the same
Folks just don’t get it understand or anything
It’s a very lonely existence and I’m just ‘functioning’
Hubby passed away 24th July 2022 and yes no nearer coming to terms with it
In fact I never will
I miss him so so much
Life’s just shit
Big hugs
Xx
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Hi all. Well…….just managed to get through yet another endless Saturday totally alone. Didn’t see or hear from anyone. My sons don’t call. They’re local but busy with their wives and kids. Family don’t call. They’re busy with their own families. Ironically enough I need some work done in the flat and put out a job query today on one of those online forums where tradesmen usually respond straight away. Didn’t even get a call back from a tradesman! It’s like I’m invisible! Nobody wants to know. Is it me? Am I going crazy?
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Sakinah,
No, it’s not you and neither are you going crazy.
This seems to be a common theme for many on here.
Everyone is so busy, phones attached to their ears practically but don’t seem to realise what their call or a visit would mean to us.
Possibly being a weekend the tradesmen don’t read any messages?
Let’s hope you get a call or visit today.
G. X
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Yes!!! He is an amazing spouse. We have gone through the loss of his parents and my dad together. We are also struggling with him having a new feeding tube and not being able to eat more than just small meals. My heart goes out to everyone as they grieve! I cannot imagine losing my wonderful husband!
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Sakinah Well done just getting through the day. weekends are so difficult. Sundays used to be so special for me (us) now they are filled with tasks. Im feeling very low when the weather is so lovely outside such a contrast to my feelings.
i wish you a better Sunday and of course you are not going crazy . These are crazy times.
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I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 15 months ago and like you only a few close to us both mention him to me. It does hurt as it feels like he’s been pushed aside. But as long as you hold him in your heart he’ll always be there and close. You can move forward knowing he’s by your side. X
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Hi Susie
I too have the same feelings as you to a sunny day
Makes it more ( if all all possible ) poignant what we’ve lost
Paul loved nice weather ( farmers always do!)
He won’t see the garden the flowers the sunrise sunset rainbows the list goes on and on and on
Everyone on here is hurting will this grief ever be manageable…….
Thinking of you all
Xx
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I don’t like weekends & see all the floweres in our garden thinking they can’t enjoy that know when i know how much they did. Loved feeding the birds too, gave great joy. I keep up with that now but doesn’t feel the same. Nothing feels the same & i get that it can’t but doesn’t mean to say, i have to like it!
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Hi Scamp
You and me both
Xx
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@DeniseMarie “Losing a partner” is shit beyond the worst shit of anything else or the shit shit of losing anyone else.
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@susie101 Sharon and I were the same. Phones off, gates closed. Coffee and papers together, mess around, country walk, old film and Sunday tea. Dull to anyone else, but heaven for is both to be together alone.
Now Sundays are shit.
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It’s just over six weeks since I lost my partner. It’s his funeral on Thursday and it’s probably just the anxiety about that setting in, but I’m feeling very much the same right now. He was only 46, about to turn 47 and I turn 40 in October. It feels like there’s nothing left for me now. We were a little family the two of us. We didn’t really spend time with others or friends, it was just us, despite having supportive families, so the feeling of being alone forevermore is really setting in.
I’m a teacher in Scotland and have now finished for the summer holidays. We would normally have had exciting plans to go places abroad to start with and then to go for day trips here and there, spend some time at the Edinburgh Festival and then probably a couple of weeks somewhere in England before I went back to work. He was disabled due to a lung condition, but with his electric chair he could get out and about or I would push him in his manual one. I just can’t get my head around the idea that we’ll never do that together again. Or that I’ll never go anywhere with him even just where we live. The emptiness is overwhelming.
I feel so lonely sitting at home without him. This feeling is alien. I can’t pretend he’s away visiting friends or family because he would text throughout the day if that were the case. I send him messages each day and wish I could get a reply. I know I never will, but the idea that I’ll never have a hug or come home to him or say goodnight or good morning again is soul destroying.
I had lots of help in the initial few weeks from colleagues, but they’re now on holiday too and have their own families and lives to get on with. The routine of the last couple of weeks of term was a welcome distraction so that I didn’t leave it until after the summer to go back to work, but now it feels everything has stopped. Maybe I seemed to be coping well outwardly because I had work as a distraction. Maybe they think they’ve done their bit. Even when I’m with them, and manage to chat about irrelevant topics and push it out of my mind for an hour or so, the fact remains that I’ll always go home to an empty house and will wake up alone again the next day.
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Hi G1983, sorry to hear how hard you are finding this but can fully empathise. I hope Thursday goes as well as these things do for you. There are no words i can say to really comfort you but i get the, we’ll never go anywhere together again, coming home to an empty house, not recieving txts during the day. If i was having a hispital appointment we’d always txt. Then if it wasn’t great news i could come home to a hug, a cup of coffee made & then talk about it & help me come back down to earth over it all. I still walk into a room & expect them to be sat there. No more memories to make, no new adventures. It is crap & incredibly hard to carry on. We just do though, even if on autopilot at times. I do hope you start to feel a bit better/ more settled soon. Thinking of you.
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Hi scamp1 and G 1983
Firstly G I to hope all as well as it could on Thursday
I to feel exactly the same as you both
Just cannot believe no more this or that and the fact I won’t see Paul or talk to him again is just mental torture
I don’t know if I will get through this I’m trying and that’s all I ca say
There was just the two of us content in each others company and now there’s just me
Devastating absolutely
Sorry no words of wisdom just shows the total love of our loss
Take care
Xx
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Same here. One year on and the loneliness is crippling. I’m
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Yes I feel the same way as you it has been nearly two years in July and it does not seem to get any easier and I too would like to meet a likeminded person to whom you can relate to.
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Yes Chrissy2. To find someone who is lonely like ourselves would be the ideal situation. I live in dread of the weekends. People who work tend to suffer from the “Sunday Evening /Monday Morning Blues” at the prospect of starting another working week. I get the “Friday Evening Blues” at the prospect of another lonely weekend looming ahead. It’s soul destroying. I’ve found that all the people who previously rallied around me have now gotten busy with their own lives. I think weekends are worse because you respect the fact that people have to work Monday to Friday and are therefore not free. It’s the weekends when you know everyone is not at work and at home, and I find that much harder to bear than the week days. It just magnifies the loneliness. The trouble is, I don’t know any widows or single people. All my family, friends etc still have their husbands and are busy and have full weekends. Unfortunately you can’t just go and pluck someone out of thin air. I really wish I could hook up with someone who’s at a loose end like me at the weekends, or for that matter, even during the week. Tomorrow is Friday and I’m already getting down thinking about it.
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