Lois99, i think it’s good that you talk to him, i talk to my wife all the time, i have a portrait of her in my bedroom, i kiss it every day when i wake, i say good morning, i tell her how much i love her, i feel her spirit in the house, i know she is still with me and that gives me comfort, she tells me things! not in words but in actions, i find that when i am looking for something in the house i know exactly where to look for it, she guides me to it, it sounds crazy i know but it’s true, things happen in the house and i see it as little signs that she is communicating with me, i just wish i could see her again but i know that is not going to happen, i occasionally smell her favourite perfume, hear a song on the radio, see a Robin in the garden (her favourite bird) feathers falling in front of me, i see them as all signs she is still here.
I think he’s with me, we were too close for him not to be. Tonight I lit a fire, something he always did, and something I’m not good at, but it is alight. I too see the robins, and I make sure I feed them. They’re supposed to indicate loved one’s spirits are around us. The only bad thing so far is that Trev’s clock has stopped. We bought a beautiful old pendulum wall clock and it always kept time for us, but it stopped on New Year’s Eve and I can’t get it going. I’m scared it might be a sign, a bad sign.
I have pictures of Trev all around the house - it was the first thing I did, so I can see him everywhere I go. I still go to the sea every day - today it was wild and windy and I couldn’t stay long in case I was blown away. I also got stuck in a hailstorm, but if I didn’t go I wouldn’t feel I could talk to him, and I would be letting him down. I haven’t missed a day, since he’s been gone. It was always our special place. I’m sure he wants to see me too.
I feel for you Lois 99 I’m in exactly in the same boat, my wife passed away in Nov last year suddenly past away with heart failure. it was so shocking my wife was quit fit no serious illness
i miss her so much. I get up in the morning lost all day lost, go to bed lost. she was my rock my best friend and the one to keep me going during the day I’m so lonely.
Hi Tony - so sorry to hear of your loss. My husband died from heart failure suddenly 13 months ago, I had only spoken to him 15 minutes earlier, it was a massive shock and it seems we are all going though a form of PTSD. It’s been made harder for us going through a pandemic. Those first few months is like a fog where everything hits, with lots of different emotions that changed for me daily. I was anxious, lost and angry, with little patience. The emotions have lessened, but it’s the loneliness that doesn’t go away. Not being able to talks things through, speak about your day etc, it is hard, I am absolutely useless with car things, so have just been to my daughters to be shown how to do my tyre pressures, fix my car key as it kept coming up as needing replacing. In reality they are little things but seemed massive to me, but have had to learn. People don’t realise it’s not just the loss of a loved one, which is massive it’s everything that goes with it which is stressful, We get there though, we have to, it’s just a day at a time. Look after yourself x
Hi Tony I totally agree with what you say. I also get signs, not as many now as I did in the first few months. But when I was looking for something it would turn up, The big one was when I decided to get the front of the house reflagged, something we were planning to do, and I had around 15 feathers land on the flags, it was lovely and I took it as he liked it. Just after my husband died, a dove arrived in the garden and sat there for around 5 minutes. I have never seen a dove before, as I live in a city so see pigeons. I had to google the meaning, and it said it was a sign of peace and new beginnings, so I have tried to take that on board. I found that people very quickly move on with their lives, and rarely speak about my husband and if I do the conversation is quickly shut down. I just don’t get that, but it won’t stop me talking about him, he existed as did all our loved ones, so they deserve to be remembered.
Viv3, i also saw a Dove a few days after my wife passed away, it was strange because like you i had never seen one before near the house, it was really close to me and didn’t fly off when i approached it, it just stood still looking at me, i got an enormous feeling of peace as i looked at it, i know what you mean about the first few months! lot’s of things happened in that time, i was woken up one night by the smoke alarm suddenly going off outside of our bedroom, when i got out of bed and ran to the door it suddenly stopped, another time i lit a candle next to where my wife used to sit, there is a lamp with 2 bulbs next to the candle, as i sat down one of the bulbs suddenly cut out for a few seconds and then came back on again, again i got a lovely sense of peace like she was sitting there approving of me lighting the candle, it was a wonderful feeling.
I think lights flashing on and off are definitely a sign that our loved ones are near Tony. I was upset the other night and a wall light near where I was sitting starting flickering as if the bulb was going to blow (although it didn’t). It went on for quite a while. Like you it gave me such a sense of peace as if Ian was nearby.
There was also a large white feather actually stuck in one of the bricks on the patio. It really made me laugh.
Missing them is agony isn’t it?! Xx
JaneyS, yes, missing them is really agony, but when things like that happen it gives you hope for the future knowing they are watching over us, many people have told me stories of things that have happened to them after they’re loved ones passed away, it can’t be just coincidence, it’s comforting to hear these things and it’s lovely to see the expressions on peoples faces when they know you are listening to them and taking joy from the experiences, not everyone likes to talk about the lost loved ones but i think it’s a lovely way of keeping their memory alive.
Oh it definitely is. I love talking about Ian. I think about him constantly. I’m sure you’re the same with your wife
I hadn’t thought about the flickering light. I have down lights in the kitchen and one has been randomly going dull then bright, not all the time, maybe a couple of times a week. I thought it was about to blow but it never has. I really believe in this sort of thing, I have had lots of experiences with other family members who have passed. I also believe that where they are is the most wonderful place, and they are so happy being there.
Yes it’s as though they know you need them more in the early weeks, my daughter would get signs too, it can’t be coincidences. The dove one blew me away, it just sat there staring. I haven’t seen one before and have not seen one since.
When my husband’s friend came to visit me, we were both quite emotional talking about him and another light started flickering & actually making a crackling sound. I definitely believe in these things too Viv. It’s such a comfort
It really is.
Spiritualists say that the souls of loved ones stay around for the first few months to make sure the loved ones left behind are coping ok! they are then called to their new place by their guides, What a lovely thought.
Heraldlady. I hate the NHS for the lack of proper treatment and care of my husband. He was diagnosed with stage 3 locally advanced pancreatic cancer in May 2017. He was in no pain and looked fit and well but could not digest heavy foods properly. They started chemo, then radiography and he started to loose weight rapidly. Then they suggested operating to try to remove the cancer from a artery. He really thought the op would save his life but it killed him. He had no strength, could not eat and was not assisted with any feeding method. He died after drveloping Sepsis during his last hospital admission in 2028.
From what I can gather the NHS are neglecting their cancer patients and allowing them to have operations they cannot survive because they no longer have the immunity or strength.
I could see my husband deteriorate over eight weeks and they only told us after a lot of persistent asking that he had weeks to live in the seventh week and he died eight days later, it’s a failure and cowardly not to be able to speak frankly with your patient and their family and I fed this back to them on their evaluation, it would have helped all of us so much and maybe my husband would not have died in such a terrible way leaving us all with traumatic memories as well as grief and a chance to have said goodbye, I cannot think they do this purposefully but it still results in the same dreadful outcome thinking if everyone on this sad journey xx
I just joined this forum a few days ago and have come across your post. My husband died in sept after a long hard battle with cancer. He died at home 4 days after our daughter’s wedding. His determination to make it there amazed everyone. I have family and some good friends who do their best but like you a lot of people have dropped off the radar after all the talk of keeping in touch and meeting up. I think it’s true people just don’t understand how much it changes our lives and how difficult it all is. You certainly find out who your real friends are. Take care and hope talking and sharing on here helps you xx
Really, I didn’t know that. It makes sense that most of the signs happened in the first few months, and some of those were vivid.
Hi Barbara - People not keeping in touch seems to be very common, most of us have experienced it. I have found even if people do keep in touch they really don’t want to talk about how you are or speak about your loved one. I have had conversations shut down very quickly, so now I don’t really bother, and keep close to family. It’s one of the reasons why this forum is so helpful, everyone listens and there is no judgement.
Hi viv3. My wife passed over July 2020 and since then through a reputable phsycic and medium I have received numerous messages from her, some funny, some telling me off, mostly saying she is OK on the other side. He has told me things she has said that in no way he could have guessed or looked up, even things about her personally. Even things that have happened in the house or garden. This connection has helped to keep me going knowing she is around most of the time, we are only separated by space, our love for each other still goes on regardless. I still have to look after her home or else I will be in the doghouse. LOL.
Love and Light