I meant to have said, when my brain feels clear, and says, now you can think straight, now go and do it…I am gradually getting things done but I know I still have a very long way to go…I dont yet know whether this is going to go to probate, I dont want it too but it well might…then I will need all the help I can get…
Jackie…
I shouldn’t worry about probate. It all sounded a bit worrying but I gave a solicitor that came to my house, all the details he wanted and never heard anything else except a letter to say that the house had been transferred into my name only. Bill paid and that seems to be the end of that. I know the paperwork seems never ending but take it slowly as you feel like dealing with it and it does eventually finish.
Good luck Pat xxx
Please don’t worry about probate, I am just about to start it but friends tell me it is very easy. If you live near a probate office you can take everything in there and they can help you. Unless it is a very complicated thing with previous marriages, step children etc, I am told that it can be easily done by anyone, on-line if you prefer.
I dont have access to a car now, I have MS, and live down in the valleys miles from nowhere, I doubt if one of their solicitors will travel from Bedfordshire to Dorset…I have been told that the will-our will is very straight forwards it is just that the money might have gone over their fresh-hold, the home and everything is all left to me, I am the executor…
I belive that if a will goes to brobate it ups the solitors money and can take longer…I just wantit over with as quick as possible so I can see whether I can stay here or I need to move, I dont know yet to where, I have to also consider my Illness that suposedly is only going to get worse, their is no cure for Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis, the MS i have I am amongst only 10 -15%…with the Primary Progressive…If their is one positive, my brain is very mush still functioning- I am still so far, on the ball…I hope to remain this way…
Jackie…
It must be so hard for you. I don’t suppose you have access to the Citizens Advice Bureau in your area? They would help you with everything.
I have been told by a member who is coming to collect me next week to take me to our monthly local MS society social evening that we have a new Citizens Advice lady and she posted a leaflet of her…Our MS Society have an agreement that at one of our meetings they come and give us an undated talk, not sure which month she will be coming but told she does home visits…yes worth a try but I am getting some help from the Age UK…
Jackie…
When we think of what we are coping with, the death of our loved one, the registering the death, the organising of a funeral service, the clearing out of clothes, the changing f bills into our name, the responsibility of changeover in paying utility bills and so forth, the solicitor dealings, the emptiness every morning, daytime, nighttime, the constant talking to ourselves, to our partners who are no longer here, the phone conversations when dealing with closing accounts-takeovers putting into our name, I am surprised we dont all have a breakdown…I am surprised at what drives us on, well for me umpteen mugs of tea…
Jackie…
Oh and almost forgot, plus kitchen rolls for drying my eyes each time I have another cry…
I remember doing all the paperwork and endless phone calls. I was lucky that a couple of insurances Simon had taken out was under the threshold, but for one I had to get a letter of administration because we weren’t married. I am still waiting on that one. I had to get Simons brother to sign the form. Some things were in his name, joint, or mine name. It got a bit complicated but I got through it. I just took my time. We did have a debt but it was in his name so it was written off. The trouble was that I was getting carers allowance and Simon was getting ESA and PIP, which by the way was a nightmare. Pip had all his medical notes from the hospital and doctors but still was insistent that he had to have an assessment. I told them he was too ill to go so they said they would think about having it at home. I told them he was in hospital, but they wanted the name of the consultant so they could phone them. Two days after he passed away, I got a letter to say it was ok, they didn’t need to see him! I was furious and maybe I should have said something but of course my mind was elsewhere. Of course all the payments then stopped. It was a nightmare! I still get angry about it! Sorry for the moaning! Take care Janet. X
Janet…
…me and Richard weren’t married either…Yes I too have been granted a couple of benefits I am now entitled to, it has doubled my state pension and now I have enough monies to cover household bills, food etc but I have been told that once the will is all done and dusted I will have to notify one or two and the payments might be adjusted or stop…I know I can expect this to happen…I was in this kind of situation way back in my single and younger days, applying for benefits so very personal, they want to know all your finances, need proof of bank statements, I have been on both ends of the counter, I once briefly worked at the Fraud Dept of the benefits office back in my younger days…I also remember being unemployed and being on the other side of the counter and what one has to do to get what one is entitled to, I vowed never to find myself in a situation like this again, well here I am, as they say…" beggars cant be chooser…" needs are needs…
Hi Jackie, you sound as if your keeping on top of things, I have nothing but admiration for you. I seemed to spend weeks running around I could cope with all our paperwork and didn’t need help but it seemed never ending, so I don’t know what you must be going through. We was married and the money went down. His pensions etc all reduced. I still have to pay the same bills though.
I really didn’t understand the Probate bit and it was thought that we would be going over the threshold, but apparently not as it was sorted within weeks. I just left the solicitor to do it.
The will was all straight forward but still seemed to be a problem to the Bank and his investments. Caused some heated conversations and I did get a hamper from the Bank as an apology and a telephone call from the investment co. trying to pacify me into not making a complaint.
Why has everything got to be so complicated these days.
Pat xxx
Pat…
…I know, do you remember the days when all we had to do was ring a phone number and we got a live voice on the other end…Now it is menu after menu not forgetting the message patter we are forced to listen too in between pressing the next menu button, and forbid we press the wrong menu button and get through to the wrong department…why must things now be so complicated, never mind how much these calls up out telephone bills if they are not a freephone number…
Jackie…
Hi Jackie
I agree with you. It is so hard dealing with all the paperwork etc. I got rid of Mike car yesterday and had to clear out the boot of the car. In it was his tool set which I bought him one Christmas for fun. The Box had his name on it which made me so tearful. I have got rid of some of Mikes clothes which was a sad time too. I have kept just a few items and I will keep them for ever as can’t get rid of everything.
Luckily Mike put a lot of the bills on Direct debit before he died as he use to pay all the bills when they came in. I am suprised too that we haven’t all had breakdowns but wonder if I am having one as get tearful off and on but people tell me that is natural as it is early days but wonder whether the tears will ever stop.
Its funny as I do enjoy a Gin and Tonic but since Mike died I have had about one. I have plenty of booze in doors but just don’t fancy it. Like you say " A cuppa" helps.
Keep going Jackie lets hope we come out the other end ah! Love Suex
Sue…
…wouldn’t it be nice to come out the other end and see our partners there waiting for us?..
I feel I haven’t achieved anything today…not even post came through my door…
Jackie…
Hi Jackie, That would be so good ah!
Don’t worry about today, you may have a better day tomorrow, lets hope so ah!
I am just existing from day to day. See friends etc but all alone in the evenings. I have no one. Take care Love Suex
Hi Jackie
Sorry you have had a bad day. I was at the bank this morning and then had some other things to do - which resulted in a bad headache. It still will not clear - but tears don’t help do they.
Its been a long day!
Hope you get some sleep and it is a better day for you tomorrow.
Sending you a hug
Trisha xx
Tricia…
…it wasn’t such a " bad " day just a wasted day really…but we already know that no two days are ever the same…It is more of what took place late in the evening that has now caused a bad day…I have sent you a message…gone mid-night not sure if I am going to sleep…let us see how tomorrow goes…
Good you managed to do your bank trip, even if it was a tad emotional…
Jackie…
Jackie…
Trisha, apologies, I have been spelling your name wrong…
Hi Jackie, sorry to hear you have a bad night. As you say no two days are the same. I had one of the better days. Someone I used to work with for about seven years came to see me. We hadn’t seen each for a long time, just birthday and christmas cards. It was great to see her and natter about things. I was also able to talk about Simon and not get upset. It made me feel a bit positive. As you can tell I’m still up too! Going to sleep is not easy! Take care. Janet xx
Hi to you all. Hope your all having a reasonable day. I wonder if we will ever say a good day again.
Regarding going to sleep. I must admit I do quite a lot during the day and fall asleep on the chair and then by the time I’ve let the dogs out and gone up to bed, I’m wide awake again. So I have now started going to bed early and when I fall asleep I’m already in bed. The TV and lamp is still on but I can usually fall back to sleep.
Yesterday wasn’t a bad day kept busy as usual but late afternoon took the dogs out and we called into the cemetery to talk to Brian. I was so upset as the council had been cutting down the grass and gone right over the grave where his ashes are with his grandparents. I had planted herbs, bulbs and a small rose bush. Now all gone. Some idiot had got rid of the lot. I have been strimming down the grass and there is flowers in a vase and another pot with plants so it was obvious that it was being looked after. I paid for his ashes to go there and I was told I could look after it. So I am going to make a complaint to the Council. It really upset me. To make things worse the cemetery which is very old and no longer has new graves in this area is a haven for wildlife, full of wildflowers and rare Orchids have been found as well, the idiots have taken them all down and left the mess behind them. Now I’m crying all over again. It doesn’t take much to set us off does it. When I strim down the grass I tell him I’ve come to give him a haircut and chatter away all the time. Now I will be going to buy more plants and might even plant a hedge around him and put a sign saying ‘Keep off’. Pat xxxx