No worthwhile future without them

God it’s tough as we all know on here. The memories don’t help just reminders of when they were here. Cant see a future of worth without her.


Sorry for your loss I lost my partner just over 5 weeks from brain cancer. I’m just trying to give myself a job each day so that I actually get out of bed sending hugs x


Thank you. Same to you. Mine was a month yesterday. But felt I had lost her as soon as she was diagnosed 6 months ago. Got as much grief from the system as I did from the illness. I’m ok with people and talking about it. It’s coming home and being alone that kicks off rainy spells. Still better out than in.


Totally understand my partner was 55 we went and had an amazing holiday in August came back to cut a long story short he felt unwell went docs had mri then was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer x


@Homeform it really hurts don’t it? i can’t see a future ahead without shaun…

So sorry to hear that at least I had a lead in time to prepare as much as possible
That was very quick for you both. Friends wanted to give a donation to Cancer Uk but I said no to that. Between 2016 and 2020 worldwide donations to Cancer research was £24 Billion dollar’s with. Nothing to show for it. God knows how much they have had since the 60s ? Where has all that gone ?

Sorry for the rant. Just very cynical about it all so the donations went to the Sheldrick charity that looks after baby elephants… She loved those. Not saying people shouldn’t give to cancer of course it’s just my view.
Aplogies for the long reply. It helps to offload


Offload anytime that’s what I’m here for to support. It really opened my eyes when he was ill, the care he received I had to fight for everything in the hospital so many mistakes. That’s why he couldn’t wait to get home I looked after him with carers at home and followed his wishes of dying at home with me and his step children just how he liked it. I have lovely memories locked in my heart now. When we were on holiday we had a special album made(we would never have this done normally) I’m so glad I did. So many happy memories. My eldest daughter also made a model of our hands together was beautiful x

That sounds really nice the model of your hands together. I see you had to keep on them at the hospital too!
The nurses at Barts were excellent. The consultants I found patronizing. The consultants only seemed to be aware of the particular organ that they specialized in. They didn’t seem to be aware there’s more than one organ in the body and for the most part they are all bumped up against one another. I hope your partner wasn’t in severe pain. That’s what ripped me to bits and still does because I couldn’t relive the pain for her. x

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He went from being normal to loosing feeling down his left side then not being able to walk unaided I pushed him in wheelchair which was hard for him to bare. He then had a seizure at home I gave him cpr at home. Medics worked on him and he came home from that to be told couple months to live we were broken. At least we got to say everything we needed to say to each other x

Sorry to hear of your experience Debbie. It all sounds very quick and traumatic for you both. I do feel for you. I’m a great believer in that aspect of this thing we are going through that we can look back and say there we said everything we needed to say. A lot cant and that must be even tougher to deal with. You have to say these things to people you love when they are here with us its too late after they leave us.
You may not have watched it or like the thought of it but theres an excellent series on Netflix by Ricky Gervaiise called After Life. Its about a guy who looses his wife to cancer which of course sounds heavy as it is but there’s humor in there too. There is a lot of stuff in there I can relate to , its so well written, but the one line that stayed with me when he was talking about his wife was “I would rather do nothing with her than something without her” I have found its those little things that impact the most. Watching Tv, etc and routine life stuff x


I loved that series :grin::heart:

Great. Pleased its not just me then. :slight_smile: Rewatched it which may sound like a really bad idea but it helped. Would have preferred he ended up with his Dads nurse but that’s just me :slight_smile: Think he was trying to say in the last scene life goes on. Think I read he wrote a few different endings x

Might watch it again too it’s sad but funny x

Yes it does. Every morning on waking up the memories flood in. The only respite is sleep.

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Confession Debbie Ive actually rewatched it twice since. Try it it may or may not help but you can always stop if its too much…or causes triggers as I call them x

I can cry at an advert these days :joy:

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Like it :slight_smile:

@Homeform you are right . I hear about new breakthroughs and then they disappear to nothing . I don’t understand why there aren’t more cures now

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Yes lots of breakthroughs but no cures. And chemo is effectivley carpet bombing by meds. It hits parts that don’t need to be touched. There seems to be a lack of focused treatment’s.


Guess what I’m gonna watch later with my daughter x

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