Not getting any easier

Just of 6 months in and not getting any easier. Can’t see the point anymore, just feel like giving up. Just want to lie with my Neil. This life is too hard :pleading_face::sleepy::broken_heart:

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Hi I am the same nearly nine months and I feel worse now than I did when hubby first died. The reality of life without him hits hard . I am just existing each day wanting to be with him . I know I shouldn’t feel like this . But I have no future without him . And so lonely and sad all the time . xtake carex

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I totally agree with all of you, I am 30 months in and I feel like I have woken from a dream and everything is real.
I can’t think of my darling husband without crying.
We were married 50 years and been together 53 years life is pointless.
We have no choice but to carry on
and pretend we are OKAY.
Take care , X

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Hi its just the worst feeling ever. So pointless. How are we suppose to go on.why do we have to go on. With such heartbreak. I never wanted a lot from life .always happy with what I had. Only thing I want and need is my hubby back . Xtake carex

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Its so hard isn’t it, just feel continuely lost and alone.
Take care xx

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Its just a horrible existence without him, it’s like a bad dream you can’t get out of . Take care xx

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I feel just like you it’s 6.30pm I have been crying for him for the last hour, just been in the bedroom rubbing my face in his clothes he promised he would never leave me on my own i feel so sad he could not keep it he knew I just lived for him. The days get longer and more lonely and I keep hoping for a breakthrough but am giving up hope. We are all in this journey together and I would not wish it on my worst enemy.

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Hi I do that also . I still have all his things . Work coat at back door . Dressing gown on bedroom door .all his aftershave on dressing table. Just in case . I know he can’t come back . But I need to keep all his things. I miss and love him more and more each day . Don’t like this existence it’s not a life . Don’t like this house it’s not a home .xtake carex

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Hi
I can see we are feeling exactly the same just been out with a friend to see if that would help. Now I have come home and I am shouting why are you not here to greet me asking if I have had a nice time. I hate this existence as that’s all it is getting through every day having to worry about bills etc. Nice to talk to you.
Jessica

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Hi this life stinks . It’s not what I want not what I was expecting . Just awful pain and suffering. For God knows how long . I just need my hubby. I miss him so much . No future . Nothing to look forward to. Sad and lonely all the time . Having to do things that I never have. Working just to pay bills. I feel like I have had enough. But know there is nothing I can do about it .sorry for rant but I’m sure you all feel the same. Xtake carex

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You are saying word for word how I feel. I have a panic attack every morning thinking another horrible day without him and like you just get through the day we had no children and the farm has gone to his son so I have no reason to get up every day my life finished the day he died. Nice hearing from you
Jessica

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I found that holding and seeing my hubby’s things all the time just caused more heartbreak. Don’t let them go but put them away somewhere safe. When you feel better to cope you can get them out and remember without the same intense heartbreak. It worked for me. Whenever I feel really sad and lonely now I get out a shirt he loved and a photo of him wearing it and I cry but I can cope better than having things there all the time. I really feel your pain.

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Hi last couple of weeks everything feels worse . I feel like I’m in a grave covered in soil trying to breath . And get out . Even though I just want to lie there and sleep. But as I try to move more soil is thrown on top of me . So I can’t get out but I know I have to . I am sad all the time . Every thing seems magnified and far to big for me to handle . I am nothing now. I am no one . I need to find me . But she has gone . No point in life anymore . No happiness . No joy . No love . Just utter sadness and loneliness . And I AM TOTALY BROKEN . all xtake care x

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I feel exactly the same as you I drag myself every day to do things even putting the washing out where are his shirts and hankies I used iron carefully. I just sit and look out the window at nothing as I am isolated with no neighbours listening to the farm noises which used to be my life as stepson has taken over all that so I have no life left. Do we drag ourselves every day I guess there is no choice but what an existence I feel a sort of sanity that there are others out there like us and I am not alone in this world. Sorry not to be uplifting but nice to here from you.
Jessica

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Just take one day at a time, I go to bed and think I have made it without you darling…oh how I hate it.
One problem I have to get up which is so hard with many tears and do it all over again but the does help just hang in.
I will always hate this life pretending I am
okay, no one knows how unhappy I am and yearn for my love.
This new life is so horrid and who wants a new life.
I try to think how lucky I was to have gad him and I wouldn’t want him to suffer how I am.
Love to all in this life we are having to put up with and no one understanding XX

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Sorry should have said time does help.
Some days are harder to bear than others. X

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Hi thank you for
Replying …I know I just have to plod on each day . And get on with it. My hubby would be so mad with me . He fought all he could to live and be with me . So I know I have to just try and keep on .and one day we will be together again . The days are so long and lonely without him .I just miss and love him more and more each day .xtake carex

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It’s 3 years since I lost my life. I had been in shock since then, I used to wake up and think my wife was out shopping. I couldn’t comprehend she want coming home. I survived in a robotic state. , .Then I started to think the world I had was some sort of make believe… Now 3 years have gone and I realize what has happened . My wife isn’t coming back and I’m so angry . I don’t know what comes next ,how I have survived , I just don’t know, but I have and maybe some sort of peace and life is ahead

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It is so so hard every morning is so hard I cry and miss my love so very much and wonder how to get through the day.
When it gets very bad and I have to visit or go somewhere…I write a verse expressing my thoughts and sadness, I find it helps to express my sorrow.
It is so so cruel will there ever come a day when life is a little easier to bear alone with no one to talk to…the person we want to talk no one else will such suffice.
All we can do is get through hour by hour, my god its so bloody hard. Xx

I deleted the start with too many tears thats,how each day begins

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I have read all your messages and I feel everything you have written. My husband John died in January . We had been together 52 years and the loneliness is unbelievable. It is a strange sort of comfort though to know that what we feel is so very normal and that we are not alone in our sadness.
I wish us all peace.

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