You’re so right - the number of people who’ve said to me, you’re so strong and coping so well, haven’t a clue how I really feel! Just because three years have passed since I lost my darling Paul, people assume I have got over it! Well I’ll never ‘get over it’! whatever that means! I just keep going as best I can for my family and because that’s what Paul would want me to do but nobody knows or can understand how much I miss him and always will!
Hello Ei. Of course we won’t ever get over losing our loved ones. We will carry our grief with us for the rest of our lives and frankly I wouldn’t have it any other way. I don’t want to get over my darling David. We have it to live with and so we do that as best we can. And of course to the outside world we do look ok, I understand that, but I get very sad when I think of how we shall never grow old together. That should have been ours…much love x
I believe too Sheila xx
Hello Kate, Yes I also feel cheated of our future together. Paul was 61 when he died and we were so looking forward to our retirement after working all our lives. I’ve just got home after being out with my family and feel so sad as he should have been with us and we should be home together! I don’t crave company from other people but just wish Paul was here with me. As you say, only those who have lost their soulmate know how tough it is! I wish you well on your journey too!
Hello Lonely
Thanks for your reply. You’ve put into words exactly how I feel! I miss all the special moments we shared, the conversations we had, the holidays we spent together. Spain was our favourite place but I haven’t been back since Paul died, it would be too painful! We always held hands when we were out together, we worked in the same building and my heart would skip a beat if I bumped into him during the day! We were married 38 years and he was my was my whole life! I have two sons and he lives on through them but like you, I really do believe that we will be together again one day! Until then I am doing my best to get through each day and stay strong as that’s what Paul would want me to do! My best wishes to you - stay strong and take comfort in the many happy years you spent together!
What an accurate phrase "My soul weeps " is. No one knows about it as we present our best possible face to the World. My Peter died on 28th July and I was reluctantly persuaded by my brother and children to join my brother and sister in law on holiday abroad for 12 days.I am here now and in one way it is better than being alone at home with all the reminders of Peter. On the other hand I find myself constantly thinking “I must tell Peter about that” as if he is waiting at home.Whilst generally managing ok this is not the real world. When I close the room door I am alone .As I have said before I hate hate this .life I am now forced to live but have no choice.
What an accurate phrase "My soul weeps " is. No one knows about it as we present our best possible face to the World. My Peter died on 28th July and I was reluctantly persuaded by my brother and children to join my brother and sister in law on holiday abroad for 12 days.I am here now and in one way it is better than being alone at home with all the reminders of Peter. On the other hand I find myself constantly thinking “I must tell Peter about that” as if he is waiting at home.Whilst generally managing ok this is not the real world. When I close the room door I am alone .As I have said before I hate hate this .life I am now forced to live but have no choice.
Hello Toria. I hope you have as good a time as is possible. As for not being able to tell your Peter things, why not tell him anyway by writing to him in a journal. I get great comfort from doing this. I’ve just finished writing 3 pages to my David, telling him about my weekend.
Love and hugs xx
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Hi Toria
One of my work colleagues said to me last week that she thought I was really brave with the way I was coping in work.
Do they expect me to fall apart all the time, yes I’ve had a few moments where I got upset, but most of the time I get through the day as I’ve got no choice but to.
I come home and talk to Keith about my day, looking at his photo and wishing so much that he would answer me, knowing he never will again.
Just writing this makes me cry, looking at the other end of the sofa where he sat, well reclined actually, wanting him to be there still breaks my heart over and over.
I know what you mean when you say this isn’t the real world, but one that we’ve all been forced to now live in, until we meet our loved ones again. Love and hugs xx
What a wonderful keepsake Sheila. Treasure it. You’re absolutely right of course, we shall never know pure joy and happiness again. We can only do our best in living this life we didn’t want. Take care Sheila. Much love xx
What a beautiful book full of your lives together to keep.
I do hope that we will all have some joy and happiness at some stage in our lives, although it will never be the same. Love and hugs xx
This happened to me 4 hours after my husband passed away. I am still upset a year on. I am still in love with my husband and people think I should be over the grieving process.
This happened to me 4 hours after my husband passed away. I am still upset a year on. I am still in love with my husband and people think I should be over the grieving process.
I’m on my second journal now Kate, gid knows what our son and daughter will make of them when I’ve left to be with Alan and they’re going through my things. Then again, they’ve got to decipher my handwriting first.
My soul hadn’t stopped weeping, neither has my heart. If tears diluted the blood cells that pump around my body, my heart would be pumping only teardrops.
Really don’t know why I’m more upset this week than last, was upset last week more than the week before too.
Blessings ☆
Jen☆
Dear Jen, I hope you get as much comfort from writing your journal as I do. I think your children will be very touched by it and realise how very much in love their parents were. Sending love and strength xx