P.S: please forgive my spelling errors - I guess my heart moves faster than my fingers.
Love to all!
Herb
Herb… forget apologising…my fingers tex n sometimes …a lot of times even I say what…I’ve read what you wrote…its beautiful and I can feel your doing your best … she would be proud of you…I’m a year since I lost my hubby…and it’s so raw and …horrendous… thank you for your post 4 am n I’m still awake…stay safe take care .nanny xx
Ann…see told you I cant tex
You see Ann, there are a few of us that can’t text well (Just kidding!!) Stay well.
Herb
Hi Sadie, Reading your post just sounds like me, I lost my husband 2yrs ago whilst in Egypt on holiday it was Newyears Eve/day in the early hours of a massive heart attack, I felt helpless in a strange country, thank god I was with friends and hotel staff that were amazing as I was like a zombie, the protocol I had to go through and travelling home without his body was horrendous but I made it back.
Now 2rs on I still relive that night, I too have moved house all during lockdown and having no-one indoors to talk to is terrible, I miss my Grandchildren and family I left behind but have moved close to my sister and daughter where I am now but I’m still so lonely all due to covid restrictions. I’m sure things will get easier, but not until this horrible virus does one, thank you for putting your post on Sadie it gave me the courage to speak about myself, take care and stay safe Marilyn
2 Likes
Thank u for it kind words . No one can understand the grief anyone goes through unless u r that person or have been through it . It’s unique to u don’t let anyone else tell u that u should do a certain thing or b a certain way . Tiny baby steps each day . X
1 Like
yes Sadie i fired a hard toenail down my own throat and had to cough it up. For a moment I was thinking about the suicide note I’d written in my notebook in the drawer nearby and imagining them finding me and thinking I’d suicided by toenail… I must admit it wasn’t one of the methods I’d been considering at that time!
Hope you are doing OK and everyone reading this too x
5 Likes
Thank you just said everything I feel after 18 months
Dear Fleur,
I have to admit laughs are few and far between at the moment but your post has succeeded. Who would ever thought that something so intrinsically sad could raise a smile? Perhaps wear a mask next time. Xx
2 Likes
For those us that grief and we were the kind of couples who touched constantly, the lack of touch is very difficult thing to cope with. I know for us, we drove folks nuts because we had to be in touch all the time. I read your post and i feel every pain you do, and I am just at the 6 month point. While every one is different, I think we feel the same pains.
Being close for a long time to one person seems to hurt worse. I have nothing to compare it too. Each grief experience is different of course. But this Covid lock down is not a good time for this.
All I can say Is I feel your pain. Choose to survive and live and keep the memory of them alive in your heart is my mission. Tell your story. HUGS
3 Likes
Hi Sadie,
I have lost my husband 9 months ago and every single day I cry and miss him. I am missing him as I did not have enough of him. We were married for only ten years and did not do much together due to work. He was only 39. We thought we had plenty of time to do things like travelling, working less.
A sudden heart attack took my life and happiness. Yes me too i died when died.
We have a 7 year old son. He is part of him so I am trying best for him as he is in pain as well. How our beautiful, perfect life changed in seconds!
I do not believe in anything anymore. I just believe in there are many wrongs in this world few right things.
Yes people say first year is the worse and I am thinking all my life i will be feeling the same. How can I be happy again, how can I not be lonely again? I can find someone again but i do not want this! I want my love Andy back, please.
3 Likes
Dear sadsadie everything you have written is exactly how I am feeling right now. Lost my partner of 39 years on 25th November last year he was only 64 then 6 weeks later our closest and dearest friend died tragically. I am so angry with this covid as I cannot comfort her. But we speak on the phone every day which I hope will help both of us. This weekend has been very bad crying 24/7 I miss him so so much
Sending you hugs here if you want to talk xx
3 Likes
Brilliant!!
Just throw your suicide note away!!
You don’t need it
Xx Sadie
1 Like
Dear Sadie, I won’t say I know exactly how you feel because I don’t but I do know how I feel. I totally empathise with you. Although I have children and grandchildren I still feel alone even when I’m with them. Derek was the other half of me and for the last 8 months I have been waiting to feel less sad and lonely but to no avail. He consumes my mind all the time and my mind plays horrible tricks imagining he will be there when I get home. He never is of course. The house is far too quiet. I miss sharing all of my news, worries, moans and lovely chats. Quite simply, I feel a part of me died the day he did (on my birthday). Sending you hope for some kind of peace in your heart x
4 Likes
Aww Sheila ( lonely). That’s is virtually my last few years too. My partner Graham’s health had deteriorated over last 18 years last 3 years I had been his full time carer and we were together 24/7. I had to give up my job. He too was happy just being at home as he had lots of hospital admissions one 6 months. Sadly he went in hospital end of October and caught COVID in there. Feel lost, angry and don’t know how to be just me we were together from being 14 for 37 years all my adult life I do not know a life without him. Take care x
2 Likes
I’m so sorry for your loss 
To all you lovely ladys i lnow how it feels i lost my soulmate of 40 years derek to cancer in nov 19 i was broken hearted the first year i dont remember much but i now know after talking to counseling and family helping me i am a bit better
but i am not strong to make big decisions they can wait
Lonely yes i think the 2 year is worse the weather is bad winter is rubbish and with this pandemic we can not go out to meet people to have coffee with i so miss it
I wish i could give you a hug things in our life will never be the same it is my granchildren that help but it is the lonelyness when i am indoors i do not like
I lost my husband eight weeks ago and it hurts like hell, everyday I cry and wish I wasn’t here but with him. I am here because of my children as they are suffering too, people keep saying I am strong and it will get better but I know I will never be the person I once was xx
3 Likes