It doesn’t half sort out who your real friends are…
all those wasted years spent on people who you thought were your ‘friends’ and turned out to be nothing more than acquaintances
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Hello Katiemarylucy1,
I couldn’t agree more with you. I have said this in other posts about people who we considered friends and I thought would be here for me. But no, not even one phone call or text just to ask how I am or to see if I need anything from the shop. I sometimes wonder if it had been me who had died, would they have been here for my husband. It does make me think.
Take care.x
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yes and worse when old friends family distance and disappoint.
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agreed something has happened to people a sense of a lost community families used to be stronger
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hello Loobyloo2
Yes…I am struggling with this at the moment. There are 'friends who I invested alot of my time in over the years, but not one text message now that I am nearly a year on from losing my husband. And there are some who I have lost touch with over the years who have been there ready to offer help.
It really does make you think…
My inner circle of ‘real’ friends is now very small
Take care too x
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I agree too that something has happened to people…we all came together during the Covid crisis, but have reverted back to an even more selfish way of life, despite all the talk of ‘society will change after this’…
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It certainly does.There are family and who I thought were friends who I haven’t had a call or text from but neighbours who I didn’t know that well have been brilliant and become friends. It sorts out who your real friends are xx
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Morning everyone,
Society has changed since lockdown.
We were put in an unnatural & unpresedented situation and it clearly has affected everyones mental health in various guises.
We came out of “lets pull together” and have become very selfish & now I feel we see others for what they really are.
Fair weather friends & Xmas card families…
But one day, they too will walk in our shoes.
G. X
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Couldn’t agree more with what’s been said here. I haven’t hardly any support from anyone. I lost the only friend I had in 2020. Which came as a shock. We do seem to be somewhat of a selfish society these days.
I only had one card from mums care home. But no one else bothered. Everyones to busy spreading gossip. Instead of asking how you are or is there anything you need.
How hard is it to knock on someones door or put a note through. Doesn’t take much effort really. People to me seem more focused on trivial shit. Like what are you doing about your garden. Or other unimportant things.
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@Katiemarylucy1 it doesn’t just expose so called friends it also shows how selfish some families are. I’ve coped for the past 6 weeks with support of just 2 friends since my husband died. I have had a handful of texts but other than that nothing. We live in a selfish world and it’s not nice, I try not to feel angry but it’s getting harder each day to dismiss
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This reminded me of “friend” & neighbour sent a text - -
No how are you etc , just did I have vegetable oil.?
Same “friend” text asking me did I know where another neighbour was moving to??
Really pathetic isn’t it.
G. X
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It’s only my immediate neighbour that has kept their distance, used to be always be around our house, now nothing unless I see them in the street.
Luckily all my friends and family are still as supportive as they were in the beginning.
Debbie X
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Oh my gosh it’s awful isn’t it? Some of my ‘friends’ don’t ask me out, they’ve stopped coming in for coffee and low and behold it’s the happily married ones that are by far the worst. I’m not interested in your ‘man’ I have a man, the love of my life, it’s just that he isn’t with me and I have to continue this journey on my own. 
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I agree I often get that feeling they see me as some wanton women on the prowl. Only one man for me and always will be X
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I think we all agree on this point.
Sometimes I make allowances for people feeling awkward or not knowing what to say, or being too careful not to cause an upset, or potentially bringing back their own bad memories . Over these last few months, I have realised that no matter what excuses we try to make to justify others lack of contact, the reality is that people are lost in their own world. Those who bother when we need it most are true friends, the others… perhaps they are best confined to history as they have no meaningful place right now.
This site offers support and ,though we don’t know each other, we each know the devastation of loss and associated grief.
My wonderful son died almost one year ago and I relive his last few days over and over and over again, and yet, the outcome is always the same … heartbreaking.
We can be stronger together and need never feel completely alone.
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life is so hard. you loss the hardest. I am so sorry. you can comfort those with the same loss, perhaps. one year is no time at all. I am sure you are so aggrieved. 
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I don’t worry about the ones that keep there distancec they will be in our position one day and then will know exactly how it is. Until just be kind to ones that stick by you and keep in touch. We all have to go on this miserable unhappy journey so don’t waete tears.
My husband died just on a tear and it’s getting worse not better and feel was just yesterday he was here.
I’ve always been a I dependant person but without him with me I’m lost too 
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Hello Barbara61
Doesn’t it just?
It really does sort out who your ‘inner circle’ of friends are, and who were just ‘fairweather acquantainces’…really glad that your neighbours have become good friends and have supported you
take care
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hello Grandma
Everything you say about the Lockdown situation and how it has changed people is so true.
We have gone from one extreme to another.
I love your description ‘fair weather friends and Xmas card families’…
It sounds awful, but your last sentence gave me comfort for all the wrong reasons, as I wouldn’t want anyone to feel the pain of losing someone, but I cant help but feel that some people will only understand what it’s like when it happens to them
Take care
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So true MarkC
I think that people focus on the trivial things in life to avoid thinking about the bigger things.
I am so sorry you lost your only true friend.
Also I think some people dont want to ‘get involved’ by putting a note through a door to ask if you need anything etc…that would mean it may affect their lives.
Take care
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