Poor bess. Me and @Hope5 are still up for meeting you know … you will have to.keep in touch via private messaging us. We can do it when weather is nicer. I think you will. get on really well with her too, she is a lovely lady and missing her husband so much too xxx
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Love to you Bess 
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My wife passed away just over a month ago. Her daughter took many of her possesions as keepsakes. I wake up every morning thinking I will be ok today. It does not last long. I am rattling round in our house full of our memories. I go out as early as I can in the morning and try to get back as late as I can. I have my family within a 40 minute drive, 4 grown ups and 11 grandsons. I can be distracted while i am with them, but the moment i am in the car on the way home I am in pieces. Looks like I have a long hard road before me.
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At least you have a distraction and a nice family supporting you … youre bound to be sad ofcourse you are as youre only a month into this x
I still have all my husbands clothes, bar a couple of pair of trousers that had become far to big for him, at one point he had wanted to wear oversize trousers , because he had a stoma bag, and he used to worry that trousers too tight would make it leak. He wore them with braces. But he’d lost a lot of weight, and they were like clowns trousers , so he’d stopped wearing them a long time ago.
I got rid of them when I had a sort of some of my wardrobe…they were only items that I would have for rid of if he’d still been here.
And I wear something of his everyday… And I have done every single day since the day he died.
We all do what we need to do to get through…
Love , strength and hugs to you all
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@Deb5 you are right . I don’t have a choice though my son denies me removing anything of Andrew’s but I can’t bear to see them as he can’t wear any of them anymore . He said his Nan would have them so that has been a conversation between them . I hope he understands in time
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Welcome kgx112d
We all feel the same n here which is ‘heartening’ as we know we are not losing the plot
Being left alone is the most awfulist horrendous situation ever to be n
17 months on and I’m struggling big time
I am ‘lost’ as we all are
Hugs to everyone
Xx
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My husband died in October 2023. When I am distracted/busying it’s a temporary pause on the loneliness I feel . I understand how upset you feel on your drive home.
Our life partner is a unique relationship and very different from one we have with our children and grandchildren and friends.
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Yes it is and we’ve all lost that relationship
It’s just devastating
Xx
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It certainly is a unique relationship and not like we have with anybody else is it 
i.miss him and his support so much … protecting me from the world … xx
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Me too 1000%
Xx
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Not fair is it @Bess1 … im so lost without him too … we have to keep looking forwards/outwards dont we but i just cant be bothered some days can you ? I liked what i had … i never wanted to let that go but we didnt get a choice did we ? Its one of lifes great tragedies … theres so much tragedy these days in the world … its a damn mess ! I be glad when i go … at least you get a bit of peace … ive had enough of it all today
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So agree with you again Deb5
I’m totally ‘lost’ every single day all day
Do try to keep myself ‘busy’ but all my back up my ‘hidden ‘ support lost way too soon and to bloody cancer
My head never stops
I stay at home with muffin that way I don’t see folk enjoying their lives…… im so so jealous
Want my life back with Paul
I haven’t grasped at all he’s not coming back……
Life’s shit
Xx
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It’s only been 5 months for me , I go to wardrobe to see my my wife’s clothes and to try get her scent from them , but to be honest I don’t think I could ever get rid of them as I feel while I have them I still have a part of her with me and can’t imagine looking in there and to se the empty space 
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Me to security from the world around us
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It is but try go for a walk wont u ? Honestly just a quiet walk … it really does help. And all you gotta do is say a little hello if somebody goes past you. I went for a walk today , saw my friend and put a completely different prospective on things you know xxx
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Sometimes it is hard tho to wear that mask
But yes you are right
Welcome Barry 61 yes I can’t see me ever sorting Paul’s clothes and as you say an empty space
Xx
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Dont wear a mask … if you feel miserable dont try to hide it but go for a walk anyway ! Its a free country - we can still go for a walk when we are feeling miserable xx
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Yes I do but when I tell the truth as my counsellor has told me to do always then folk don’t know what to say
Or look at you as much as to say Really after all this time……
But Debs I always tell the truth
Their reaction is their problem ……
Xx
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Dear @Bess1
I totally get you … When people ask how you are, if you smile weakly and say “okay” . You usually just get the response, “Oh, that’s good” and then they quickly move on.
And if you dare to tell the truth, and admit your struggling, or having a hard time, you get the response “oh why is that!!!” Or that look in their eyes,
“What, STILL !!!”
Lucky them for not understanding, that’s what I say.
But it’s so lonely, and so utterly exhausting doesn’t matter whether you choose to pretend to be okay, or tell the truth. They are both just so exhausting.
Bless you, and everyone on here that understands
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