Tough … theyre not a friend then are they really ! And tell them theres no timeline for grief !! Honestly i despair of people these days !! You know queen victoria was in mourning for her Albert for 5 years !! Tell em that ! Xx
Dear @Deb5
Your reference to queen Victoria made me smile .
But I think it was much longer than 5 years… She mourned him for the rest of her life, (40 years, I think) wearing black.
That’s what I’ve told people.
When they say you we ill feel better , it will get easier… I’ve said, no I’ll be like Queen Victoria, I’ll be grieving for the rest of my life xx
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Was it ? I know she mourned for a long time 
i will have to google that ! Lol xx. Just googled it and youre right … he died when she was 42 and she wore black for next 40 years but said she withdrew from public for over 10 years … poor lady …she mustve really loved him too … she had loads of children to him didnt she - i remember watching the series on t.v. xx
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Yes, 9 children !!!
My grandma, (my dad’s mum), lost her husband when he was only 38. She was only 34, my dad was 13, and his brother only 9. My grandma mourned her husband until the day she died at 92!!!
Poor lady. It’s only since my husband died, that I have understood her suffering and sadness.
I sincerely hope that I don’t live till I’m 92!!!
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Aw thats awful … did he die in the war ? 
poor lady … xx
People need to adapt to us not the other way around but sadly we will all come across this no matter how much time has passed since our loved one has gone.
Some how we need to find our own way to manage this as it’s going to keep happening. I haven’t found my way yet I could easily fall out with people and isolate myself . This is for our life time the loss of our loved one.
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Yeh youre right but its a learning curve too … i dont think we should be too hard on ourselves tbh, im sure everyone is doing the best they can … i really believe that … but i agree people should sdapt tonus not the other way around - unfortunately my arrogant kids dont think like that …
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Hi @Deb5
He died as a result if the war. After Ww2, he was posted to Korea. Fought there
Came home to London where his wife and kids lived.
Then had a massive heart attack on the train from London to Dundee to visit his parents.
My grandma did gets war widows pension , because the heart attack was attributed to Korea, and what he endured and witnessed there.
Thank you for your reply xx
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Dear @UnityMan
I’m sorry that this thread has changed a bit from your original post.
I’ve noticed since I joined this forum last March, that this sometimes happens.
It has to me, and it can be a bit upsetting.
I still do totally get your original post, which is why I posted in it earlier about my husband’s clothes/ wardrobe.
Love and strength to you 
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Oh thats awful. Poor man it can really affect the family cant it ? I had a great uncle who died in ww1 , age 19 in Belgium … i remember my nana and great aunty ( his sisters) just couldnt talk about him … they used to have a lovely pic of him in his uniform … so handsome he was too … such a waste xx
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When my wife passed away my daughter gathered all her medication and took them for safe disposal the next day and arranged to return the medical equipment such as the bed, hoist and wheelchair etc I really didn’t want to be reminded how poorly she had become !
But her wardrobe and drawers, clothes makeup etc are exactly as she left them as I’m not ready to face that yet ! It will happen when I’m good and ready, not before (( other than putting her jewellery in the safe) all is as it was when she left
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You and me both Cat-fan
If I’m never ready to sort Paul’s clothes so be it
Someone might have to sort Paul’s and mine at the same time who knows
His watch he wore for work is still on top of his bedside cabinet
This cabinet is exactly as it was contents un
touched
We are all left in a very lonely and ‘alone’ place and one day these folk who expect us to have moved on will realise that
I just feel so very very alone
And yes I prefer to hide for my mental safety and if anyone else dare say to me Paul wouldn’t want you to be like this
I’ll scream
I know that!…… but…….
Hugs to everyone
Xx
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If anything helps anyone then that’s a good thing
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My wife only passed recently. I could’nt wait to get rid of the medical equipment for the same reason. I am trying to remember the good times but it is clouded by the illness that she suffered for so long. Her daughter took a lot of her clothes as keepsakes. I have trouble even opening the drawers. I am lucky in the sense that I have a support network of kids, they have been great. Still know that I have a very long way to go.
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I can’t get rid of any of my wife’s clothes or possessions they mean to much to me. Don’t know if ill ever get rid they are part of her
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Hi Bailey 2
Same here
Xx
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Hi Deb
How do I access message please
Xx
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Hi Debs
Sorry I’ve got message
Thank you
Xx
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