Over a year, things changed??

It has just been over a year that I lost my partner suddenly, My health seems to be getting affected with my stress now. The pain is still as intense & the thoughts of the empty, lonely future still the same. I was wondering how everyone else is doing at this point or later?
Peace & love to you all​:heart::heart:

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Im just coming up to a year too and its a rough time. Great sadness and not easy being by yourself is it ? I wish i could turn the clock back but i cant :frowning: i loved our life together … i always knew how lucky i was but i really didnt expect to lose my husband at only 60 - that has hit me like a ton of bricks. I only hope that i can somehow find some happiness and some sort of life - i know he would want that because he was a happy person, who loved life . I will never forget him though - he was very special to me x

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@Deb5 yes know exactly what you’re saying. My partner was 62 so young as well, life is so cruel & unexpecting!! My heart goes out to you :heart::heart:

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Thanks ! And you too ! Were all having a rough time of it :frowning: xx

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It is shit isn’t it David was 58 it’s nearly 10 months for me , difficult time of year trying to be upbeat for my boys and 4 lovely grandchildren but feel so sad , know David would give me a kick up the arse and say enjoy and have fun easier said than done take care all x

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My husband was 76 and three quarters and I feel he was younger than some especially when sat next to a widower 10 years older yesterday alone at a Christmas party who said his wife died 6 years ago. He didn’t look ill like my husband. I knew my husband’s life would be cut short for ten years before hand and he was losing the war with each battle he overcame.
I felt he didn’t even have two years without this thorn in his flesh as I called it after he retired and that he was robbed of what he had worked all his life for because if we did go away he was struggling so couldn’t do it just had to make the best of it. He struggled on and said he always hoped.
I look back and think of those years we had hoped to go abroad more but just glad we did before he retired and wish he had retired before he did.
Had so many ups and downs. I read people had less time and so it is tough.

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He was 58 a regular gym user . I loved his muscles and bam he was gone in an instant. The only comfort was I told him I loved him a few hours before as I was away in Benidorm

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@Jol its not fair is it ? You know people who not lost a husband really don’t get it do they ? They really dont :frowning: so i just been speaking to a friend. Her husband has got young dementia which is really sad, and hes in a care home but thing is she going to visit him this afternoon ! And thats the thing isnt it ? She can go visit him !!! Its not like us … we cant go visit our loved one can we ? Makes me so cross ! Im gonna change my friends … Xx

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I lost my husband 10 months ago. He was 62 and he died suddenly. I’m lost and hate the thought of Christmas. It’s a lonely road. The pain of missing him is awful at times. What can we do but carry on. I have 2 adult sons at home which helps for company at times but not the same. My Rob always had my back and looked after me. After 38 years it’s hard to do everything alone. Just telling him about my day was nice. I know I was blessed but don’t feel it now. Love to you all on those horrible journey we never wanted. x

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@Hev57 i lost him after 30 years . Like you I am lost and can’t face Xmas . I have my son at home . We are going away for it

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It is a lonely road. Its bloody awful ! Im afraid my husband protected me too much from people - it was his nature - and i just cant cope by myself - i feel so lost and i just dont trust people anymore because they are so two faced ! People say one thing and mean another ! Im sick of it all !!! Tbh only person i can trust at moment is my next door neighbour. She is such a genuine lovely girl, her and her partner - shes only in her 30s but really kind and she helps me :slight_smile: Xx

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I have one friend who really understands me . One I go out with . The others are nowhere to be seen . I see my sister once a week and she only lives a couple of roads away . I suppose I will make new friends at some point . Why did he have to go when we were so happy

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Exactly … why ? Because life is just crap thats why !! And its not fair ! I can think of so many people who are bad people and dont deserve to be here - yet they still bloody are arent they ? I dont believe in god anymore ! I dont think there is one at all !!

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@Deb5 i know my love it totally wrong . I am in despair. I expected us to grow old together. Both of us have been robbed of that

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We have ! Its not fair … and i am cancelling xmas ! There will be no Christmas in this bloody house ! Im fuming again. Im so angry i cant tell you …

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Im ready to just bugger off - sell my bloody house and go rent a nice bungalow in wales for me and lucy … long as they let u have dogs that is ! And just live there without any contact from any family … until i pop off myself ! I think that sounds like a plan dont you ? X

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It’s just under a year since my wife died. I’ve got really mixed feelings about Christmas this year.

We didn’t think she would make it to last Christmas, but made it to a couple of weeks after.

In a strange way we had a really happy time, having all the family to gather and also genuine engagement and being focused on the moment.

I do feel quite forlorn this year. But least will have family around.

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I’m genuinely so sorry for your loss, my husband was 65 and died 10months ago, he wanted me to ‘get on with life’ but that’s so hard at times - this last week has been so hard for me. Like you we were very close, everything changed when he died, my life will never be the same. I do feel I owe him to live my life, he had cancer and he didn’t have a choice to live - maybe in time the egg analogy will be right, we’ll find a way forward. I’m not sure how Christmas will be, I’ve bought his favourite wine and will raise a glass to the love of my life. I wish you well

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@Emz I found the 2nd year much harder than the first as the expectation from a lot of others is different. Anyone who hasn’t lost a partner doesn’t understand that your life changed beyond recognition the day they passed. It’s a different grief one that affects every part of your day & also every plan you had for the future. I’m coming up 4 years & although I have learned to live with it better, I have days where I have to shut myself off, yesterday being one of them. All I can say is it does get easier in respect of carrying the grief. But as time goes on & the memories get further away it’s a different type of grief for me. There’s also fear for the future. Not having that support from the one you love & trust the most. I’m currently caring for my Mum who has dementia & I’m finding it hard carrying it alone. You can’t switch off when there isn’t that special someone to make it better. I don’t come on here as often anymore because of not wanting to share the fact it hasn’t got much better, just different. But this is where I’m at at the moment & it’s a bad time of year for me. Sorry not to be more positive. Sending love & strength :heart:

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@debs I don’t know what has happened but they have really upset you . Look after yourself and do what makes you happy xxx

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