@Enorac
Sorry, I think your reply mentioning me about COVID was perhaps meant for someone else?
I have not mentioned COVID in any posts or replies.
That said I have had COVID twice.
Please take it easy, a few days of bad cold is probably normal but if you feel things are worse or not clearing up definitely get help.
I feel for you it must be doubly worse being on your own and not feeling well.
@Hope2 I feel for you too, my heart goes out to you. Thatās the only thing with family & friends, they have their own lives to live so you donāt come first with anyone anymore apart from the one we lost, thatās what frightens me about the future. I hope you can enjoy Christmas the best you can too & hopefully better things in the New Year 
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Iām 11 months without my partner he went to sleep one night and never woke up again. He was 42ā¦.was out of the blue totally unexpected i feel completely lost the kids canāt cope without him either
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@Tiggs7623 I am so sorry for you, my heart goes out to you, it is an horrendous life after this happens. My partner was sudden & unexpected when she went, my whole life has changed for the worse, she was 62 & Iām only 47 & have the rest of my future ahead that I donāt really want without her. It must be really hard for your children too, itās such a cruel life!
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Itās his birthday this Sunday I am at a loss of how to cope with it then Christmas and new years to doesnāt feel real itās been nearly a year since he left usā¦life is hard now harder then it used to be Iām 47 I thought our whole lives were in front of us and now itās gone how does anyone learn to move on when they lose someone so quickly like that 
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@Tiggs7623 yes the first year of firsts is very hard, Iāve just had the last, the anniversary of her death. Iām finding it very hard to look at the future. I feel as if Iām living in a surreal world & as if my life with her was a dream, how do people cope??
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No idea ā¦ coming up to my first anniversary on saturday without my lovely man ā¦ its so sad ā¦ im thinking of moving next year anyway so that will focus my mind . Not sure where yet. Just looking ā¦ its bliming horrible though isnt it ? Like youre sleep walking through life ā¦ nothing seems real anymore because we lost our old life 
xx
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@Deb5 yes it is so horrible (worse thing ever), people honestly canāt understand, donāt think anyone can until it happens to them. Yes think you have to try and focus on some things to keep you going if you can, do hope it all works out for you!
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Today missed grandchildrenās school concert I went to last year because got COVID this year and feel sad as enjoyed their pleasure blast tear even if it was only a little while after I buried their grandad.
But got sent video but upset couldnāt let them see me watching as last year it meant a lot and now they will be worried. But I feel guilty now I went out and caught it knowing risks now worried will ruin my birthday on boxing day when all here and Xmas day when only me my autistic son can go to but canāt if I am still infectious as he is high risk as morbidly obese. I am very worried. After loosing my husband I feel vulnerability of all of us. All our parents died a year after each other years ago when they were my age.
I feel very frightened I canāt seem to get over bereavement fog to sort out what I wish could
Yeh you do have to focus on simething youre right ā¦ its just hard isnt it ā¦ i find it so hard anyway ā¦ i miss the support of my husband so much ! He was my rock and my protector xx
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@Enorac i do so feel for you, it always seems to pile on doesnāt it!! I would think you will be over the Covid by Christmas hopefully! If you can try to wear a mask everywhere as it is some form of protection? Your grandchildren will understand & thereās always next year! I can understand with the bereavement fog, itās very hard to get rid of to move on, unfortunately the burden we live with now. I do hope things improve with you, we are always here to talk with
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Yes @Deb5 we did everything together & I always said she was my sanity, now I have none; she was literally everything to me & Iām finding it very hard to function now. The burden we bear for true love unfortunately!!
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Its a sad fact of lifeā¦and death, as we age those around us pass away, friends from long ago,loved ones and family members, and for those of us unfortunate enough to be left behind, the future is often cold, lonely and bleak.
Life with purpose is good, life without purpose is untenable and without point, the hardest part for those of us left behind is to reinvent ourselves and start over.
For a few of us it means freedom if we have been trapped in a bad relationship, but if that were the case we would not be on this site, and there are no simple answers.
Internet dating might work for some, but inevitably one would be making comparisons and that might cause problems, first we have to deal with our grief and for some that means counselling.and for some that can take years, and we dont get over it, we get used to it and grow around it.
Coming to terms with our loss, is part of coming to terms with ourselves, best not to start anything you cannot put back on the shelf for at least a year, small steps, a day at a time, set a realistic goal for the day(I am building a snug at the back of the lounge) so next year I will have a warm space in winter without warming the planet.
and it gives me something to do.
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