It’s been just over 9 weeks since my husband died. I have wonderful family and friends, a great support network, but today I feel so alone without him by my side. I’ve been practical with managing the house and garden and dealt with the endless paperwork, still ongoing, but feel that I just can’t do it today.
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Its 19 weeks since I lost my husband of 40+ years. Like you I kept busy in the early weeks. I was still dealing with my late mother’s estate and I also moved some furniture. Looking back I dont know how I coped but I had to keep occupied. I found groups to join and events to attend, was getting a bit hectic. Then I came down with Covid, no energy to do anything. On top of my grief I felt I was fading away. Feeling a bit better now. So dont feel you should be doing things, dont put yourself under pressure. Its not wrong to hide away, snuggle under a blanket and watch TV. Grieving is a long slow process with many ups and downs. Hope you feel better soon
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@Cassi i feel the same . The practical things I can deal with but its the little thingd. Just knowing hes there. Someone to share useless information with. Early days i suppose
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Thank you. I think I’ve just got to roll with it and wallow in my grief today. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone.
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Yes unfortunately we have to go with what each day throws at us. Some days are better than others. Yesterday i cried for a good few hours today has been better.
I have been out with a friend for coffee so that kept me occupied. Now home and going to do some ironing in front of the TV should keep me busy for an hour.
Fun begins at night on my own dont like the quiet it now brings maybe play some music.
Take care
Lynne x
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Sending you love and hugs.It is so very lonely without our loves beside us isn’t it.Some days you just need to realise it’s all too much and be kind to yourself xx
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It was 10 weeks last Saturday since I lost my partner and soulmate of 35 years and the pain doesn’t stop. I have spent the last two days in bed with a stomach bug and being here alone with no support has made it a hundred times worse. I’ve had fantastic support from my family and friends but I told them to stay away while I have this bug as I would hate to pass it on to them.
I’m due to go on holiday on Saturday with my daughter and SIL so I’m really hoping that this bug will be gone and I can get the break that I feel I need.
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That’s really bad luck. I’m just recovering from covid, its horrible bring unwell when you’re on your own. I am also going on holiday soon and hope I feel well enough. Fingers crossed for you.
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Im 9 weeks in. Its bloody awful isnt it. Im sorry your not well but get yourself well enough to go away. Coming home will be hard but at least for a week you can try and relax .Take care
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I’m 17weeks in and still feel the nights and weekends lonely. I don’t have family support and my friends stay further away.
I dud spend a couple of days with them earlier but now back home and dealing with everything now on my own which is hard.
I have tried to join various groups to keep me busy a couple of days per week so i can meet or talk to people as some days dont do that if i stay at home.
I miss my husband as it was always just the two of us against the world but no one to talk or ask now but i still speak to him although i dont get an answer.
We planned a visit to Belfast so i will do that visit on my own for a couple of days when i feel ok to do this.
Take care Lynne x
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It’s the nights isn’t it, no controlling the brain when sleeping, I have really strange dreams that wake me in the middle of the night!
Every morning is a new realisation that my husband has gone, I can’t believe it.
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Me neither
Seems like a bad dream then i wake up and it’s reality.
Tonight i just want my previous life back although i know thats not going to happen.
Hope tomorrow is a better day.
Take care x
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Funnily enough I don’t struggle with the nights. It’s coming home to an empty flat that I find the hardest, that and watching TV programmes that we enjoyed together. Just watching the new series of all creatures great and small and all I can think is that he was so looking forward to the new series beginning. It causes physical pain
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I know we just miss the moments together we all shared Now we just have to learn to do things on our own which will take time x
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The evenings and weekends are the worst. During the day I keep busy and it’s not so different than my life before. But the coming home to an empty house and the loneliness of evenings and weekends are a real struggle. Trying to fill my diary as much as possible but weekends are difficult because friends and family are usually busy. I too can’t watch tv programmes we both enjoyed. In fact I don’t enjoy tv anymore and the dark nights are going to make it even more lonely. At least I enjoy reading as a distraction.
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Hi @Jan17
I agree with you the nights and weekends are the worst.
I am planning on maybe a few day trips at weekends maybe use my over 60’s bus pass to go to different towns
That might help with the hours during the weekends.
The nights not quite sure as hate dark nights during the winter strange didnt bother me when he was here. Lynne x
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I feel so alone also. People dont want to seem to wamt to hear about my grief that haven’t experienced it themselves
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Hi @PandoraG
Sorry to hear your feeling bad today.
I feel no 2 days are the same.
Today was out as the choir i joined 3 weeks ago were performing at a shopping centre so that was good as it took my mind off things for a little while. Now back home i find my mind wandering as so quiet and silent. No one to talk to unless i talkto myself. When you have been in a partnership for over 38 years and it was just the 2 of us against the world we did not need anyone else now its just me it is very lonely when you are at home.
My aunty asked me to go on holiday witb her but reluctant to go as my last holiday was with my husband in May this year and he passed away in June so not ready to go away just yet.
Hoping your day night gets better today.
Weekend always seem so long now
Take care L x
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I agree, the day time with friend or family can be fine but it’s when you are alone later in the day without your partner to chat to and talk about your day that it really really hurts. I can’t see this changing ever, I miss him so much my best mate x
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Hi @Kathy6
Yes i cant see it changing.
I will always love him just as i did before he was taken. I will always be married np matter if he is no longer here.
I enjoy company and people to talk to and that wont change during the days.
At nights i wont go out as i hate winter dark cold nights do i hope over time i get used to my own company.
Take care x
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