Overwhelmed

Five weeks today since my husband pass and I am so overwhelmed with disbelief today … x

Five weeks and 3 days for me. And I have been very sad today. For me, I think it’s the realisation that he really isn’t coming back. My bargaining with God didn’t work. The shock of this is overwhelming. Feeling shaky, butterflies in my stomach. No motivation to do anything other than feel sorry for myself.
Tomorrow will be a better day. Xx

I hope so … I just don’t know what to do witj myself x

One foot in front of the other. Baby steps and try just taking one hour at a time. Cry if you need to. Keep posting and reading this site. It’s been a lifeline for me. No judgement from anyone. You can say how you feel and there will be nothing but support and love. Xx

Hi - my partner passed 29 days ago. I don’t know what to do. I’m not back at work, can’t face it. I’m fed up at home. I’m trying to stay busy but cant concentrate on anything, can’t even focus on tv. We only had 2 years together. I had a bad marriage and then divorce, and spent a decade alone rearing my daughter. He was happily married for 38 years and then lost his wife suddenly five years ago.
When we met we clicked and just enjoyed each others company and then we fell in love and it was wonderful to feel alive again and with such a lovely caring kind good man. We had plans, dreams, all gone now and I’m alone again. And its just the worst. I’m just distraught and lonely, so terribly lonely. I miss talking to him, we messaged all the time and talked on phone when we weren’t together. Trying to make some sense of this. I just need to talk to others who understand exactly where I’m coming from. I don’t know how this works but hoping for something, anything to help me get through this. :two_hearts:

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We all understand here. It’s tough and we’re all in it together. Most of the posts tell people’s stories if you are ready to hear them. Nobody here judges, just offers a hand of friendship. All your feelings are valid.
Sending hugs and strength your way. Xx

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Hi Willow112, thank you for the reply. I have been reading some other posts and I am so very sorry to read your story and that you are going through this a second time.
xx

Six weeks for me and I’m finding it so hard. Like others can’t believe he’s not coming back. It’s too awful to hear and frightens me how I feel so lost and alone.

Yep. I feel that I should be better at this widow thing, but I am not. Like Woolly, I am at 5 weeks and today has been a bugger.
Love and strength xx

Oh Willow, I didn’t realise it was so recent for you too.
And Woolly - I hear you.
Some days I’m fine, a few sobs, but ok.
Then I have days like today - got up and ready to go to back to work, having a cup of tea and just lost it. Have been crying all day. Combination of missing my lovely man - missing talking with him, been hugged by him, walking with him and he’d take my hand in his, cuddlin next to him in bed, etc, and loss of our future together. And sadness at his going. And I’m scared too of what’s to come.
After 15 years in a bad marriage and 10 alone being a single parent, I was finally living life again and so happy. I couldn’t believe I was so lucky to met him and be loved by him and have him in my life.
And now he’s gone. Gone. Forever.
And the void is huge.
And I’m sad that I’ll never be as happy again or know the love of a good man again. That the 2 years we had is all I get.
I’ve lost a lot in my life and thought that finally it was my turn for some happiness and love.
I’m trying to cling to that - to honour him by living my life now to the full, as he did his. But I’m not sure I can stop myself from sinking down in the darkness.
Woolly - you are not alone. I’m here for you, and for you Willow too.
xxx

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Hello,

I don’t know if this will help.

I am sorry if it upsets anyone.

My husband died at the beginning of March suddenly and unexpectedly.

I now can cope with thinking he is absent.

That is my coping strategy if you like.

It took me a while to get to this point

I don’t know how long this ‘stage’ will last.
It’s what works for me.

The loss is overwhelming and I think too enormous for me to deal with at the moment.

So, if it takes small steps, so be it.

Sending you love and understanding.

Rose xx

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Its astonishing how many of us are hurting so much.
When life is good you never stop to think about those for whom the sun isn’t shining.
Love to you all.
Liz xx

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I seem to have done such a good job at getting through the next hour or getting through the next day. My poor brain has been convinced that it is temporary. After 5 weeks, now that the numbness is wearing off a little, My brain is beginning to realise that this is permanent. It doesn’t matter how sad I am, how needed he is, he is gone. I can’t bargain with God, the universe, or fate. I just have to suck it up, roll with the punches, and I am not loving it at all.
Thinking of everyone out there. I don’t know how, but we will endure this and come out the other side.
Love to all. Xx

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Isn’t it just … so may of us suffering x

That’s exactly what point I’m at x

Willow, like you I did better in the beginning. It’s not reality is setting in that I’m feeling it more. I was married 54 years this month and we did everything together. Just sitting together quietly in the evening him in his chair me in mine. I can still see him there. It hurts so bloody much.

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Hi … hope everyone is doing as well as can be expected… it’s 7 weeks since my husband and for some reason my sadness has overwhelmed me . I am totally lost with out him , it has hit me like a bolt out the blue … has anyone else experienced this ?

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Yes absolutely- and I know there are loads of others who have also experienced this.
I thought I was doing ok and then I just wasn’t.
I’m 4 months in and still finding every day a struggle - not returned to work but am functioning at some level and needing to be around for my kids. No idea what the future will be like - and kind of terrified about it too.
Just take each day at a time - it is such early days and things will be so hard for you. Being overwhelmed is so hard - just try do what needs to be done and the rest can happen eventually.
Keep posting on here - it can be a place where folk really understand and can offer support and lots of understanding and kindness. Xxx

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Thankyou so much … it’s just I feel I have gone backwards x

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It’s like a rollercoaster really. Lots of people also describe it like that on here.
You’re doing ok for a wee while and then suddenly you’re going down, and then at rock bottom, then it gets a bit easier and you feel you are on the way up.
I find every day is different, and even within each day it can be so up and down.
I suppose that’s what makes it harder in the early days / weeks/ months. You can’t control how you feel and react to things so it’s hard to get out and do regular stuff when you are so unpredictable.
I find simple things are hard some days but just go with it now and only do what I can on the day.
Be kind to yourself and don’t expect too much.

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