Palliative Care

My June Passed on June 17, taken into hospital on the 12th, next day I was told there was no more they could do and they wanted to put her on Palliative Care. She had a DNAR so I didn’t feel I could object. I thought I knew what Palliative Care meant, I do now. They looked after her pain and comfort, but no water or nourishment. It took 4 days for her to die, slowley and very painfully for me. No-one says it but Palliative Care means you die of starvation and thirst.

I don’t blame the staff, they were great, above and beyond, they cared, but we know what Palliative Care means - there has to be a humane way
Sorry if people get offended or hurt by this, that’s not my intention.

I am truly sorry you have had a such painful experience and I would like to share a little bit of my own. It’s not really something I have done on this site, my husbands passing was traumatic and impacted on my family and myself.
He was admitted to hospital as we were waiting on the results of investigations into stomach pains. My husband left his home never to return, cancer was confirmed within a few days and his condition deteriorated very quickly. He agreed a DNR in the first week, confirmed his agreement in second week by which time he was having palliative care. This basically ensured he was as pain free as possible.
He did not eat or drink throughout this period, fluids were deliver via IV, and we saw him fade away. He died 14 days after being admitted. Our desire to get him home unfulfilled.
But I researched afterwards as like you I did have concerns around the lack of nutrition and found that the body itself shuts down with no appetite for food or water as it prepares for death. I was with him 24/7 and our family there every day too. I do wish he had been at home or in a hospice rather than a busy general hospital, I know that would have been more comforting.
Palliative care ensured my husband did not suffer a painful death.


Hi all
My husband was also diagnosed with cancer 3 days before he passed very shocked all tests he had done colonoscopys showed no bowel cancer his bowel ruptured he had primary bowel cancer which had spread. Mick was in hospital for 3 days palliative care he was able to eat and drink a little I brought him home where he wanted to be. He was talking to us on the way home then I could see he was deteriorating fast once home oh his sofa he smiled and held my hands making muttering noises only he was so peaceful managed to smile until he passed 3 hours later.


My sister died in her own home. She’d secondary brain cancer, the primary was, rectal.
She too was on pallative care with a dnr in place.
Initially she was, eating and drinking but in the final week she could no longer do this safely due to not being able to swallow, she’d have the odd sip of water, we used sponges on a stick.
She didn’t want food or drink.
Pallative care ment she wasn’t in pain, her death was peaceful and that’s all you can wish for. Peace in the end.


I asked the pallative care nurse why do you allow people to suffer like this why do you not help them on there way out of this misery and indignity that accompanies a cancer death.
She looked oddly at me like i had said something wrong. And said what you believe in that. I said of course. My dog and i pointed to him if he were lying here like this a vet would say euthanise. Yet you allow a human being to die slowly.
She did not believe this should be allowed. No empathy its seems they think dying this way as long as no pain. I disagree life is quality not quantity


A post was split to a new topic: Our Mum-in-Law passed away

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