@Muldool - I completely understand your need to know. It will be difficult and I hope you get some answers. My worry would be what to then do with the information if it was found to be connected to the vaccine or something else that could have been avoided. Good luck to you and let me know how it goes.
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I interrogated my lovely husbandās doctors. One told me to stop torturing myself because it was upsetting me so much. But he wasnāt giving me answers, and he didnāt want to give me those answers.
I spent hours with a friend who is a retired doctor and went through everything step by step. I know exactly what happened. Itās a very tough thing to go through but glad I did because I believe I exhausted it (and myself and everyone I spoke to).
No one could say definitively it was the v but they also couldnāt rule it out. Inside, I know it was and there are adverse effects to every medicine. Clotting, irregular heartbeat, heart inflammation possible side effects.
The big question is does this knowledge/belief help me? It didnāt at the time when I was exploring it all. It was very painful. Now though I feel more detached from it, and I am glad I have a thorough understanding.
Itās not for everyone but it did help me x
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@Muldool Good luck with that - and I so get it. Iām desperate to talk to the nurse who was there when Sharon passed, as I have loads of questions about did she know, why then not later, her breathing etcā¦ but I do know the hospice completely bans all further contact will relatives to help the nurses move onā¦
My husband died at home which is what he wanted. We had nurses coming in regularly and got to know them well as they were the only people we saw a lot of the time because of covid. Iāve always said it would be useful if someone came and talked through what happened but everyone just disappears and you are left alone. I do get that it must be hard for the nurses too and they need to move on xx
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@Barbara61 yes, I understand them. Two actually came to Sharonās funeral, which Iām sure is not allowed but so sweet of them. I think they all fell a little inove with Sharonā¦ who wouldnāt, she was the best.
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Barbara I too know how that feels Chris died at home and had a good team around both him and me but once heād died they all disappeared and you are left very much on your own with your hopes and dreams shattered . All you want is for someone to talk throught it with you so that you can make some sense of it all. I have raised the issue with both my Welsh Government AS and our MP but got the usual platitudes but nothing more .Thankfully my GP helped and so did one of the District Nurses who came and saw me in her own time . This forum helps too
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My husband was fit and well slight raised blood pressure but nothing too shocking then 6 weeks ago he collapsed with a bleed to the brain stem he had the cv
He was only 47 our whole lives ahead of us.
Iām devastated.
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@russellsmrs - my situation is very similar to yours. My husband was 55 and also suffered a bleed on the brain. It is so difficult to accept when there was no warning or ill health.
Iām 7 months on now and Iām coping a bit better, although Iām very lonely and still cry regularly.
We have to keep living - our husbands would want that but itās so difficult to do.
Donāt expect too much of yourself - itās such a short time for you. Take care x
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Thank you for your reply
Iām struggling massively ,work hasnāt helped, I was pretty much bullied to be back after just 10 days, Iāve realised this week I need help and have just been given a sick note but still not handed it in!
My life and priorities have changed Iām not sure I even want to work in this Feild any longer.
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Hi. Iām so sorry for your loss. I wanted to let you know that I suffer with extreme anxiety since my mum died, nearly 5 years ago. I had never experienced anxiety before and it was totally overwhelming. The terror that you feel is so enormous, and made worse by the fact that there is no rational reason for it. I totally get that feeling of being adrift, with nothing solid beneath you. Itās like nothing feels permanent any more. The only positive is that Iām not afraid of dying now. If thereās nothing after death, then ok, but if I might see mum again, I wonāt fear going. I am on tablets now, although I was retisant to take them, but they have helped a lot with the panic attacks. I hope you find some way of coping. X
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@MrsL - 10 days is very quick to return to work. It sounds like you donāt have much support there if theyāre putting pressure on you to go back so soon. I would take the sick note and go back when you feel more calm. It is likely to take a few months not a few days.
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Iām not ashamed to say I took three months off work altogether. One month when my husband was in hospital and two months after he passed away.
Take your time to grieve, could your employer allow some kind of phased return?
Sending you much love.
Kath c
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10 days is an incredibly short time, MrsL. I had three months off altogether when my wife died, and I can tell you, I needed it. Please take as much time off as you need. Youāll be much better for it in the long run.