You don’t sound so full of pity, you are like most of us, just trying to survive, when the ones we loved so much have left us.
It’s painful and hard to understand, it seems surreal to be left behind and having to live the future without them with us.
Love to you xx
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I still have meltdowns 6 months on from my wife dying from aggressive cancer. Only 7 weeks from diagnosis to her dying. As a family we did get the chance to say goodbye, but that made no difference to the pain we all suffered and still are. I had a bad day today, prompted by finding an email she sent me 19 years ago. In it she was telling me how much she loved me and couldn’t live without me. She was also larger than life and now I’m looking at the same black hole as the rest of you. My future disappeared when she died, as like most of us here, we did nearly everything together. It’s only because she made me promise to keep trying that I am.
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Hi all. A number of questions about what to say to people were mentioned today. On my PC I have an interesting viewpoint, which I can post tomorrow. Take care all of you. Much love. Xxx Sleep well.
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I understand how you feel, I only had 4 weeks with my husband from his diagnosis, how are you supposed to get used to the idea that you’re going to lose your soul mate in such a short time.
I wasn’t ready to let go and still struggling to get my head round the fact that he’s gone and I’m never going to see him again, its been 15 weeks since I lost him.
Im so angry and upset that I lost him, he was only 50, we were supposed to spend our retirement together and do the things we wanted to do.
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Here is the thing I saw online. It made me smile just imagining saying these things but so many are true.
Question :-
“How Are You?”
Answers :-
“I’m shattered, thanks, how are you?”
“I walk aimlessly through the rooms of my house, but what have you been up to?”
“I’ve woken up in the middle of the last 365 nights in a heart-pounding sweat, what’s new with you?”
“I sometimes wish I would never wake up, have you been on vacation this year?”
“I ache for the arms of my loved one to hold me tight, how’s your family?”
“I feel empty and useless and creepy and mundane, seen any good movies lately?”
“I’m terrified that I’ll feel this way forever, I like that sweater you’re wearing.”
“I keep seeing his body on the hospital gurney, don’t you love this weather.”
“My broken heart is in my throat, let’s do lunch.”
"I’m so completely and utterly tired of being sad, thanks, how are you?”
Gary Sturgis - [Surviving Grief 3]
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You have hit the nail on the head. I’m still in the angry and disbelief stage myself. It’s like I’m operating in autopilot. My brain still convinces me at times that she’s going to walk through the door. And when grief hits me, it really hits me, hard. I’m 6 months down the line and I have definitely improved to what I was. But I still despair at times thinking of a future just ripped away in literally seconds. She was a beautiful soul who, if karma really existed, should of lived to a ripe old age. Life is so cruel.
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Thats how i feel that im on autopilot i cant go foward and struggle to look back its hard to explain and articulate it feels like my mind is protecting me i havent hit anger yet i know i will i just feel so cheated out of our life x
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It’s 11 weeks today that Hazel died and i find it difficult to accept that she’s gone.
I still talk to her and kiss the urn with her ashes in, almost as much as I kissed her.
I have made some improvement, and trying to keep busy, but mornings and evenings are tough and i feel the loneliness then. Weekends can make it worse too.
I have trip to Plymouth the weekend after next. That will be really tough.
A step and a day at a time and carry on for her memory:broken_heart:
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What gets is when people say u look well. Then they say how do you feel silly question xxxx
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Thank you for that it sums it up, my world stopped the day lee passed my heart has shattered and will never be the same i feel like a ghost in my life
Hour by hour
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So sorry for your loss .just take things day by day .it is hard i know even now after 5 months loosing my wife still very hard xxx
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i am going to see a bereavement counsellor. Glad to hear it’s probably helping you.
Good luck just listen to what they
And you tell them most things you are struggling with i am sure they will try and help you xx
Im just anfry for losing my husband the way he did, especially when he could have had a chance to live.
Ive hit rock bottom lately and just feel like I want to give up, I can’t be bothered with anything anymore, after 22 years half of me is missing.
I just want him back
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I promised my son that I would go see him do the race for life in honour of his dad, ive got until June to prepare for it.
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Thank you, Eleanor3 for those kind words, and I send you my condolences.
We both have a similar story, the grief is so hard to bear, we were unprepared, we had no time to say goodbye.
I left my husband in his chair and went to bed, not a day goes by where I don’t regret that decision, if I had stayed, could I have saved his life? I will never know the answer to that and it eats away at me constantly.
There are so many things I need to do, that Mark always took care of, but I just keep putting them off, and thinking, I will do it tomorrow.
It is good to know that we are not alone, I send you lots of love, take care xx
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Back from the dr i am doing he said these new tablets i am on.want to see me in 6 weeks…gonna finish the game in .need 2 tokens then i have won my wife would have been happy xxxx
I get angry thinking more could of been done for my wife, even though I know it’s pointless. It’s my personal way of trying to make sense of the futility of it all.
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I understand what you are going through, ive got a complaint going with PALS, and a solicitor.
If the hospital had done something sooner instead of sending him home, he might of had a chance, I only had 4 weeks with him from the diagnosis, and told he was too weak for chemo, 10 days later I lost him.
How is anyone supposed to used to the idea of losing their spouse in 10 days.
Im not holding much hope, the hospital is not going to admit to anything.
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So sorry for you after reading that totally upset for you xx