Sorry for your loss. I know what you are going through. I lost my wife in September. So i am 5 months still hurts now .
Liw so sorry for your loss what a tragedy he was so young my husband died suddenly had not been ill everyone said how good he looked for his age he was 72 the shock is horrendous he’s been gone five months but still find it hard to accept that i’ll never see him again sending love
Sorry for your loss its so tough 2 months 1 week and 1 day today the nights seem harder i can now navigate a day ish have been signed off from work 1st time for that
we were together almost 27 years and spent all our spare time together when we were not working now sit here alone the nights are hard and how do you respond when people message to ask how you are?
Sorry for your loss its so hard i still cant go to the mindset that this is my reality still think he is coming home from work soon i know he isnt but its too hard to go there yet his name was lee he was an amazing husband and my best friend
Liw it’s very early days you are probably still in shock when people phone to see how you are be honest tell them your struggling for the first three months after Chris died if anyone told me how sorry they were i would burst into tears it is a little bit better now. I try to fill my days with going out with friends and relatives it’s when i’m home alone that the loneliness hits me my advice would be to except every invite that comes your way however much you don’t feel like socialising and try not to look to far ahead take a day at a time x
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Im trying i can go out now in the beginning didnt see how that would be possible, i try and meet friends i go through the motions but then come home and it hits hard its the days that i don’t see anyone is hard and when people start moving on again with there lives which i totally get i just don’t want to make them feel sad and upset their day.
im off work at the moment ive never had this much time of not being busy
Thank you and again sorry for your loss x
Hi Llw
My husband died on Jan 24. He would have been 60 on Monday. There was no obvious reason or warning. We’d been together for 18 years. He’s left a huge hole of fun and plans and everything we shared together and thought about for our future.
When people ask how I am, I tell them. No point pretending things are fine. Maybe people will find it hard to hear but thats my reality. Good friends will listen and be supportive. Some are more helpful than others but I accept that everyone is trying their best to say the right thing. This is new territory- we are too young for this- so we’re all learning together.
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Hi katej1,
We are too young for this sorry for your loss its hard i just dont know how to be i have a good friend support how do you tell people you dont know how your feeling the loss, pain guilt you feel the what ifs just keep going round its so hard just want to sleep but that isnt easy when you start another day it was my birthday 3rd Feb that was a hard day as is most people tell me i will move forward and this is my new reality its sad i just want my old reality back x
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I get that look totally understand what your saying x
Hello
I can relate to everything you mention, I constantly cry in public, it’s too hard not to, so many things make me sad. When I see couples holding hands, when I am in a shop and come across the menswear department, and think “Mark would like that”. When I am food shopping, and realise that I am not buying food for him.
Every day is an uphill battle. I miss him so much, I couldn’t ask for a better partner, he was everything I needed, it’s so painful and lonely without him.
I send you my love and condolences xx
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Hi,
Yes it hurts so much i find myself looking at couples and think its not fair then feel selfish im pleased for peoples happiness i just feel sad shopping is a new experience as is many when i used to buy lee fruit for work etc or food for meals he would cook for us i wasnt the cook in this house still struggling to eat
Im sorry for your loss and wish you the best it is so hard lee was my life we were together for almost 27 years he was a larger than life character and i miss him constantly
Sending you my love and condolences thank you for your response xx
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I want my old reality too! Even the boring stuff was ok doing it together. We were together for 18 years but only married for 15 months. We were so completely happy and felt so lucky to have each other. Everything was bright and exciting for the future. Then one morning he didn’t wake up. It’s still inexplicable to me and I think someone will come and tell me it’s all a mistake but I know really that won’t happen. I feel my future has been cancelled and although I know I will continue to live, I can’t see much purpose or joy in it.
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I find it hard to see couples out together and think it’s not fair that should be me but if it’s one thing I’ve learned in the last five months it’s that life isn’t fair. It’s not selfish to feel like that it’s just that they have each other and we are now on our own x
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My husband died at home last March at the age of 52. No warning, no time to talk about the past or future. I could never have imagined how much I would miss him and our future and how much I dread the years stretching out in front of me. One year of this is enough.
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Thank you, Mark was the same, a funny, larger than life character, always making people laugh, I miss his silly jokes and sarcasm.
Take care xx
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I feel your pain, we never planned for this, Mark left with no goodbyes, we had no chance to plan for this life I now have, I have been thrust into uncertainty, no idea of where I will live in the future, or indeed, how I will live.
It’s painful and unbelievable, it’s a constant struggle to accept that I will never be with him again.
I miss him so, so much.
I send you my love xx
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Im 2 months in its so hard that doesn’t even sum it up another day tomorrow i cant do no more than take each day at the minute as we all can do i send you my love and thank your for your message
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Very true. Others simply don’t understand the nature of our grief - how all aspects of our lives have been ripped apart and the difficulties that come with being alone, having to come to terms with living when most of us simply want to give up.
As always, my heart and best wishes go out to you all x
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Thank you for your kind words. It truly is a painful journey. It’s 5 months since my husband passed but seems like 5 years. I thought I was doing okay but have had yet another meltdown. It’s made me feel quite ill and so very tired. I seem to get constant headaches guess from all the stress I’m feeling. I’ve started to look to the future which I shouldn’t do as there seems no future for me without my husband. We had so many plans, went everywhere together and now he’s gone. The loneliness I feel either at home or when out is unbearable. I find family and friends aren’t in touch as much as they were, I guess they think I’m coping, how wrong are they? Of course they have their own lives, why should they think of me. I must sound so full of self pity, it’s just this grief totally consumes you and takes over. To all out there in my position I send you my good wishes and strength in coping with this difficult journey.
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I’m so sorry for your loss. Lost my husband suddenly 2022 Oct. The hardest thing I find is we always had a plan. See the kids move on with their lives like Uni and then work and then would be our time to retire to Cornwall. Now i don’t have that I can see my children’s future but not mine.
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